I first got into game when The Game, by Strauss, came out. Stereotypical, I know, but it’s just the honest truth.
Before that I got laid occasionally and had one LTR, but that was basically because I’m fairly good looking and was an athlete in college. In other words, a combination of luck, decent genetics, and staying fit.
What’s crazy is reading the Game worked for me. I started to go on dates, immediately got a girlfriend, then ended up sleeping with a few other girls (including one of her hot friends)… before I met my ex-wife. At that time she was the hottest, smartest woman I’d ever met and the fact she was into me sealed the deal. I totally fell into the blue-pill fantasy and proposed to her 9 months after we met, married her less than a year later.
I should point out that I would never have gotten her if I didn’t know game. Torero says game is getting girls 2 points above (if you’re a 6 it means pulling an 8) your own SMV, and I agree–this is perhaps why I was so quick to put a ring on it. A warning here to guys just starting out: don’t marry the first hot chick who’s cool that you sleep with. Date her for sure, but remember, you’re only just beginning. And ultimately, if you want to have a good LTR or get married (cannot state how strongly I think this is a bad idea), you need to have multiple experiences with women and particularly with regard to holding frame for that to have any chance of working.
I, unfortunately, got to learn this the hard way.
We separated late in 2016, and though I still knew some game techniques, I thought it would be easy to get online and meet girls–turns out in my area: no. For one, Tinder and Bumble had passed their prime already, but two, I was overweight and my pictures showed it. I guess that’s why the mantra of TRP: “lift” resonates so powerfully with me–it’s just a fact guys: if you’re not in at least decent shape, it’s going to be EXTREMELY difficult to be consistently successful with women, and if you can be in great shape, you’re head and shoulders above most other guys, which is a tremendous advantage.
Long story short: for the first year to year and a half post-divorce, my love life sucked. I went on some dates with girls I met online, but the truth is you’re only as good as your pictures, and my pictures sucked, even when I began to lose weight as a result of lifting and keto, I still didn’t have good ones, because I don’t go around taking pictures of myself all the time and have zero sensibilities with a camera. Granted, I could (still) learn to do this (something TheRedQuest has referenced), but it was at this time I switched over to cold-approach, and the results were so much better I haven’t bothered.
If you can’t tell, I FUCKING hate SOD (swipe/online dating). There are a lot of reasons for this, but the basic fact is that for men, unless you’re truly Chad 10.0, you’re always operating from a frame of neediness/scarcity, while women (especially the hot ones) are operating from a frame of DGAF/abundance. I like pick-up because the girls I meet that way are much hotter, and it makes me work on my game consistently IRL, which makes converting dates into lays extremely easy. Anyway, I get that for some guys SOD works, and if it does, good on you—but if it doesn’t, seriously guys, A) hit the gym, and B) learn cold approach. It’s life changing.
Getting back to my arc, 2018 was pretty crazy. Started with me banging a girl I met online NYE—dumped her cause I met a hotter one through social circle game, then got the third of that year online (no, the online girls weren’t that hot: 6’s, but hey, I needed to get laid). In May I had a revelation when I cold approached a girl (HB8) who was 21, number closed, then had sex with her on the first date… at my parent’s house.
After this point, all the girls I talk about are through cold approach.
Later on, I hooked up with a 22 year-old, had her coming to my apt once a week or so—my first plate. At this time I was doing a ton of approaches, but failing A LOT… I have to say I agree with Torero on that: it really does help to do a ton in a short time frame to get your bearings.
I had my first straight pull from a karaoke bar in August, second plate… and anyway, I guess I could keep going in detail but I promised I wouldn’t do that.
Numbers look like this: Sept (3 new girls), Oct (4 new girls—two pulls), November (2 new girls), December (2 new girls), January (2 new girls)… February was my first dry month in terms of closing new girls, but I’ve been spinning two plates I really like and am having basically as much sex as I want given my time constraints (I’m a single dad and have my kid half the time). I should say as well, of the girls who were not straight pulls, all of them were first date lays except two.
So, like RedQuest, I can’t say as I’ve had any real life mentors or undertaken any crazy journey, other than I lost a bunch of weight and went from a fat-ass 6’3” to pretty jacked/thin, plus got a whole lot better at game.
1) Lift. Stop eating carbs—unless you’re a little guy. In that case get jacked.
2) Learn cold approach—even if you are getting girls through Tinder. It increases your game exponentially, and I should add that there are a lot of hot girls who aren’t on the sites who are inaccessible if you don’t have that skill.
3) Fail. Above I’ve listed a lot of successes, but I fail a lot too, and it’s the failures that help me learn the most. For example, I went out to the bars this last Friday and got utterly rejected by every girl I approached. No numbers—nothing. But I realized:
A) I wasn’t creating enough polarity or stacking properly and displaying value, and
B) the logistics for the evening were flawed. This allows me to learn, and I’ll apply these lessons in my next session.
4) Don’t be a keyboard PUA—too many guys don’t actually get out there and take action, and that, by far, is worth more than anything you can read online about getting chicks.
5) At the same time, write field reports and reflect on what you’re doing. Focus especially on your failures and apply Occam’s Razor—the simplest explanation is probably the best.
6) Don’t make drinking or drugs a big part of your game. I know for a fact I’ve fucked up approaches because I wasn’t sharp after having too many beers.
7) Have a look/archetype, or at the very least, be fashionable.
8) Maybe most importantly: don’t hate women. Love them. They don’t know why the fuck they’re doing what they’re doing—it’s just instinctual—and it’s our society and culture that makes them toxic, not the true feminine nature.
To come back to the SOD thing, the above is one of the reasons I hate online game (and social media) so much—it makes women super picky, entitled, and arrogant, because they can literally have dick delivered to them anytime they want it. SOD lowers both the collective value of male attention as well as your individual value as a man, which is why I abstain, even though I know if I spent some time and got better photos I could get some easy lays that way.