Approach Diagnosis: not building enough attraction, using proper tactics.

Well, if you read my last blog it was a pretty ranty screed that’s mainly me just bitching about the fact I’ve had a drought when it comes to number closes on my approaches, and the fact the few numbers I got flaked on me.

That happens, but a red pill man doesn’t despair and he doesn’t blame anyone but himself. What he does is he gets his ass out there for more approaches, which is exactly what I did yesterday.

I’m not going to get into every individual approach–and surprise, surprise–my shit streak continued: no number closes. The only caveat I’ll add is that I’ve been filtering for quality and trying to approach only the hottest girls.

However, approaching yesterday allowed me to figure out what I’ve been doing wrong, which is why failure is a good thing. I also realized that my success so far isn’t because I’m a boss at cold approach. I’m OK, but mostly I’ve been relying on my looks to get girls.

A point on that: get your ass in the gym and lift. I had sex with multiple girls every month for five straight months because I’m in good shape. I mean, my game on dates is good and I know how to escalate, but what I’ve learned with this cold streak is that I need to improve my approaches if I want to keep getting results.

OK, so a few things I know I’m doing wrong:

  1. My sets are way too comfort oriented. I’m not showing enough value, teasing, and showing intent and sexualizing the conversation. As I was driving home I realized this yesterday–it’s too easy to fall into the trap of “where you from”, “what do you do”, blah, blah, blah…
  2. I’m not using false time constraints. When approaching stationary sets, this is fucking key–I actually believe you should almost always give an FTC–and I used to do this very well but for some reason I’ve been forgetting to lately. This occurred to me when I was talking to a two-set with a wing yesterday and the girls finished their beers and left, presumably because they didn’t know when we were going to (I actually think they were leaving anyway, but the point is, we should have left before they did). We had a good conversation and it wasn’t bad game, but I didn’t have an out and neither did the girls. It’s so key to say, “I’m waiting for a friend to show up–he’ll probably be here in a few minutes.” or the classic, “I can only stay a minute, but…”
  3. I’m not getting enough isolation. I think the girl I just mentioned might have given me her number, but I asked for it in front of my wing and the other girl. Granted, we were sort of having our own conversation, but the problem is that if she does it in front of other people, she might feel slutty, and as any guy who’s run game for any period of time knows: the moment she feels slutty, you’re done.
  4. I’m not making girls qualify themselves enough. This is a key point to building attraction and getting her to invest in you–it’s something I do very well on dates to the point where women are often agreeing with me by the end to the point where it’s annoying. However, I’ve not been doing a good job of this in my approaches, and it could be one of the reasons the few numbers I’ve gotten have flaked. Quick point: qualification is when you disagree and force the girl to reconsider what she said and qualify herself to you, or when you say something like, “are you normal–you’re not going to rob me are you?” or “I like smart girls who read books–what’s the last one you read?” That’s a great one BTW–if she doesn’t read, she’ll try to explain why, and if she does, she’ll have to prove it.

If I sound like a fucking amateur by this point, it’s because I am. Yes, I have game–you don’t sleep with as many girls as I have in the last 6 months if you don’t (and again, I didn’t meet any of them on Tinder).

But I’m still making rookie mistakes. When I was approaching this fall I was definitely using false time constraints, getting isolation, and building more rapport. Anyway, the point of this blog isn’t to say I’m the master of the universe and a red pill god–the point is to document my journey, including the ways in which I fail, so other guys can learn from them.

The cool thing is if I do a better job with the four points above, I think I’ll bust out of this slump sooner rather than later. You don’t necessarily need to write field reports (although I strongly recommend it) to diagnose game, but you definitely should be thinking critically about where things went wrong when you don’t get a number close, pull, or fail to get sex on a first date.

That said, guys should also remember that even if your game is tight, a lot of girls won’t give you their number, some percentage of those who do will flake, and not every one who doesn’t will fall into bed automatically on the first date. This stuff happens to guys like Nash and Torero and other legendary PUAs who can do this shit in their sleep.

And even though in my last post I sound like kind of a whiny bitch, saying, “girls are fucking stupid,” I’m not going to take that post down or apologize for writing that.

Because it’s true and you should never forget it.

Women are not making logical choices when it comes to dating and mating (keep in mind this doesn’t apply to other circumstances–women are perfectly capable of doing difficult jobs, living interesting lives, etc–the point I’m making is exclusive to attraction). They’re just not. It’s all about their emotional state, which is why even super good looking guys with incredible game get shut down, flaked on and rejected from time to time.

However, the frame in which I wrote that the other night was one of anger, and btw–that’s OK too guys. We’re men. When things don’t go the way we want them too it’s perfectly natural to be angry, but as I mentioned in my red pill summary, it’s all about what you do with that anger.

As I write it again here: “girls are fucking stupid,” it’s from a frame of stoicism and acceptance.

Because the truth is that beauty is not rare–there are plenty of hot chicks out there for us to chase after. And the point of TRP is to find enough to satisfy our sexual desires. In some ways I think I got caught up too much in the idea that filtering is bad, but in truth, it’s only bad if it means your conversion rate of approaches to numbers to lays is super low. Like, ultimately, whether you’re meeting girls on Tinder or doing cold approach, you ARE filtering, because you HAVE to:

Some girls won’t like your look.

Some girls will be in a shitty mood.

Some girls will be in love with their boyfriend.

Some girls probably want to fuck you but are too shy/afraid to actually go through with it.

There are an infinite number of reasons a girl might not want to give you her number, go on a date, or fuck you, but it’s utterly useless to try to figure out why that’s the case on her end–she probably doesn’t even know herself.

And I’ll end here with a quick story on that:

My friend and his wife are heading for divorce. He probably fucked up some along the way and didn’t hold his frame well enough, but overall he’s a good guy and for this girl a very good catch–he makes a nice salary, he’s relatively tall and good looking, and he’s the father of their two children.

Nevertheless, if I had to guess, they’re going to get divorced, because she has this bug in her brain telling her that he’s not alpha and she’s not ultimately attracted to him anymore.

Logically, this is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen a human being do. Ever.

Like, her life will be much, much worse without this man around. She will NOT attract a better man (she’s 39 I think), her kids will grow up in split households, and they will both have less wealth, but since he makes significantly more money than she does, in the end that’s a worse trade for her, even if she rapes him in the divorce.

And yet, she can’t bring herself to reframe or adjust the way she thinks about her husband. They’ve gone to counseling, he’s been reading redpill shit and being more alpha, taking her on dates, etc., but at this point I don’t think there’s anything he can do to change her perception of him.

This is another good reason why guys shouldn’t get married–because girls are stupid when it comes to dating and relationships. The same dumb emotional reasons why a girl doesn’t give you her number, go on a date, or fuck you don’t go away just because you put a ring on it. And no matter how red pill you think you are, the woman you marry can flip on you or cheat in a fucking heartbeat for reasons that are completely fucking irrational.

For this reason, I predict we see a huge increase in the number of lonely old cat ladies in this generation–because these girls are going to go buck wild fucking around when they’re young, develop ridiculously high standards and the implicit belief that men are disposable, and then they’re going to hit the wall and find that it’s impossible to attract the sort of man they’re interested in and tell themselves they deserve.

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