Well, as I wrote recently, after breaking a few plates in December–February, I was with my only remaining plate (Yoga girl) and drunkenly agreed to be exclusive, even though I don’t want to be.
I’ll stop and acknowledge here: yes, major loss of frame on my part and an unforced error. But I think guys need to be reminded that this shit isn’t easy. We were raised to fall in love with girls (especially super hot ones) and have monogamous relationships–you don’t just unplug and suddenly all that prior programming goes away.
Indeed, from what I can tell, living red pilled requires a constant state of vigilance and adherence to principle. Any lapse and you risk fucking up like I did.
Anyway, I know some guys might think this is shitty, but I have zero intention of holding my end of the bargain in terms of being exclusive.
Because she won’t.
No, I know that on a long enough time line, this chick will cheat–indeed, most chicks will. She even admitted to me today that she’s been a serial monogamist in the past.
It’s also been my experience–corroborated by numerous others on the mothership–that most girls will try a new guy out before jumping ship from the old guy. This is classic serial monogamist behavior.
Effectively this means there’s no benefit to me being honest.
Not being honest in the first place was my fuck up, but if I think of the situation in a Machiavellian way, that’s past and therefore doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what allows me to retain the most power and get what I want, which in this case is to continue fucking her while finding new girls to fuck and getting back to a situation where I have two to three plates spinning.
That’s something to think about gentlemen: what would Machiavelli do? Or Bismarck? Or Sun Tzu? Or hell, Ender Wiggins if you like Sci Fi…
Because it’s not about morals. Remember, she’ll eventually lose interest and/or cheat. That’s a guarantee–and with this girl in particular–which we’ll come to.
So basically I have two choices, and one of them is significantly better given what we know about female behavior and evolutionary biology.
A) Stick to my word, knowing that she’ll eventually leave and/or cheat on me–potentially involving a time in which she’s fucking me AND someone else, with the risk she exposes me to an STD in the process (we raw dog–she’s on BC, and I have proof; plus she talks constantly about NOT wanting kids, so I don’t think that’s a huge risk). In the meantime I stop running game and gaining experience in cold approach, and as anyone who’s been in an LTR knows, there will eventually be less sex as well. So when it does end I’ll have zero prospects, be out of practice with gaming women, and be in a state of neediness/scarcity.
B) I say I’ll stick to my word, but don’t, continuing to cold approach, number farm, date, and hopefully fuck other girls, eventually to the point of having at least one, if not two more, plates.
Clearly, option B is the player’s move.
Yes, there’s a risk that by cheating on her she finds out and I lose her earlier than necessary (keep in mind, I could have lost her by denying exclusivity), but even at that point I have an advantage:
Because I showed her I have abundance and if she does stick around, I can reframe the relationship into an FWB–maybe even use her as a wing. In fact, arguably if I think I would lose her by not being exclusive, I should do exactly what I did. So it’s actually possible I stumbled into a strategy here that ideal.
Of course, the more likely thing is that I lose her when she finds out I’m still seeing other girls, but I don’t really care that much. Because if my choices are:
A) Be honest and lose her.
B) Be honest and potentially keep her, knowing she’ll continue to push for exclusivity and eventually break.
C) Lie, keep her, and continue doing what I’m doing, knowing that if she catches me my chances of keeping her are equal to or higher (we all know women love assholes) than before…
Arguably, my best option is C.
Ultimately, however, I agree with Redquest and Nash that the girl should be having a good time too–it’s not my goal to hurt these girls or be a dick. I guess I’ve just stumbled into a situation where I’m going to be, but there’s no advantage in copping to it.
This is where it’s actually just unfortunate for everyone involved, because if I knew she could potentially stick around and follow through being monogamous to me, I wouldn’t mind investing more in her and having her as a primary partner.
The problem with Yoga girl is that’s not going to happen.
She’s too flighty–too overcome by sudden instincts of fancy and emotional impulse. No, eventually something will tell her to move on or give her a rationale to cheat. It might not even be all that nefarious. It might simply be the right situation and the right Chad come along and that’s that. But with this girl, I’m 99% sure it’s a when, not an if.
The other unfortunate thing is that it’s not really what I wanted in the first place, and yet it’s her impulse to lock me down and for me to buckle–especially against the charm of a pretty girl. Again, it’s my fault I lied, but having done so puts me in no moral obligation to change unless I could count on the other party, in this case Yoga girl, to abide by a similar moral obligation, which I know she won’t/can’t do.
A couple rules and points that I didn’t make up or invent but bear repeating here, especially in the context of our “exclusive” relationship:
- Unless there’s an advantage in admitting the lie, or the truth will come out for certain and it’s therefore worse not to admit it, don’t. Just reframe, move on, and do what you were going to do regardless. Remember: what would Machiavelli do?
- Never argue with a woman. I was reminded of this riding up in the car with Yoga girl on a short vacation recently. She tried a few times to pin me on stupid shit, but I refused to bite. Changed the subject, made her laugh, teased her about something. Never argue with a woman. Disagree, sure–you should actually to force her into your frame–but don’t get into it.
- Eye contact is so, so powerful, especially when combined with a low, slow powerful voice. I ordered coffee recently from a cute barista and I had her blushing even though all I did was order the coffee and make small talk, said nothing sexual because I couldn’t as Yoga girl was right there. This is also why I got a number from the girl I met in the grocery store the other day–powerful, sexual eye contact.
- An exclusive LTR will shit test you more, not less. Yoga girl is constantly poking at me and prodding, just like the raptors testing the fences in Jurassic Park.
- Pre-selection. Everywhere I go with this chick, women automatically regard me with more attraction because I’m with a pretty girl. Kinda why I’d hope to finagle her into being a FWB/wing in the future. She says she’s open to a sex club sometime–thanks by the way to RedQuest for that tip.
Much love fellas… until next time.