Quick point: if you want to understand how to manage relationships with women, read HumanSockPuppet’s guide to managing bitches. I reread it recently after the episode that follows, and it definitely would have helped.
I’ll admit, it happened sooner than I thought it would.
As I alluded to in my last post, I recently went on a short vacay with Yoga girl, the first time we’d spent multiple nights together.
Everything seemed to be going fine until the last night, after we’d come home.
The first problem was that I couldn’t get her to leave. That had been the expectation all along, but then she makes up this excuse that she’s got HW to do for school (she’s getting her degree in psychology–go figure), so I’m like, “OK, fine–but I’ve got shit to do, so I’m not going to sit around and entertain you.”
This hard push turns her on and she starts kissing on my neck and long story short, we end up fucking. I fucked her hard and choked her until I came–normally I make sure she has an orgasm, but this was clearly a quickie situation. I really did have shit to do.
Mistake #1: she was not doing what I expected her to do, and instead of withdrawing attention, I gave it to her. Granted it was sex and it’s really hard not to fuck a hot chick when she’s asking for it, but in retrospect I should have just left.
Anyway, I put on clothes to go to the gym and kiss her goodbye, telling her to just lock the door when she leaves cause I’ll be gone for 4-5 hours.
But lo and behold! She’s still fucking there when I get back and making dinner.
“I thought you had to work tomorrow morning?” I ask, as in GTFO.
“I called in–I had such a good time on our vacation I want to stay with you one more night.”
“Don’t you think you should have asked me if that was OK?” I reply.
“Oh I just thought you wouldn’t mind–I’m making steak and eggs cause I know you like to eat that after you lift!”
Mistake #2: I just shook my head and went to take a shower, but in the end, I didn’t make her leave. Granted, that’s very difficult when your LTR is making you dinner and it’s like 7 at night and you’re tired and you just want to go to bed… but still, I should have found a way to get her the hell out of there.
But also: strike one for her–she was supposed to leave and didn’t, even though I had made it clear earlier that I expected her to be gone.
After dinner, we’re watching a movie and I start putting the moves on her. But I can tell she’s not really interested, so I pull an old school PUA move and get my computer out and start working.
This of course works–at least initially. But halfway through making out, when I put her hand on my cock, she says, “I’m not feeling very sexual right now.”
I’m like OK, fine.
So I get back on my computer and tell her I’ll come to bed after I finish up some work.
A half-hour later she comes to bother me and try to get me to cuddle her, and at this point I go into a speech about my time being valuable and I don’t appreciate having it wasted. I’m working and she’s interrupting me.
Strike two. If she’s going to stay, she sure as hell better fuck me when I want to fuck.
So she goes to bed, eventually I do too, and when we get up in the morning it seems like everything is fine–she says she’s going for a hike and then heads out the door. Fucking finally.
Later on, just to be nice (mistake #3), I text her: “hope you have fun on your hike–send me a pic!”
And then I don’t hear from her for a full 24 hours.
Strike three. She’s deliberately ignoring me, because we all know that unless it fell into a fucking lake, bitch is checking her phone.
Now, I’ll give myself some credit and say that I didn’t text her like a needy bitch the way the old blue-pill me would have. But anyway, that’s it for me. If this had been a new girl I could maybe just think of it as a shit test and be non-reactive/not care, but we’ve been seeing each other now for a few months, so to act as if I don’t care when she’s deliberately ignoring me would be incongruent–it’s basically like if someone slaps you in the face. If you don’t confront the behavior, that person loses respect for you and it’s likely to happen again.
My only choice is to go nuclear, or what Torero calls, “The Royal Flush.” Now he does it with girls when they fuck around in the short term, but the same rule applies in LTR’s in my opinion–at some point, you have to jettison. The person who cares less about the relationship has more power, as Rollo says.
So after 24 hours, I call her. She doesn’t answer. So I text her the following: “Look, I don’t appreciate being ignored–this is no longer working for me. We should see other people.”
And what do you know boys–here she comes chasing me with text after text after text (because of course she can’t call smh).
So far I haven’t replied. I will at some point, I just need to figure out the best way to try to reframe the relationship into what I want: still getting sex from her without the commitment. She’s very adventurous in bed and we’ve talked about sex clubs and threesomes and all that, so there’s even potential I could use her to wing/open other girls.
Looking back, obviously the first thing I should acknowledge is that I made multiple mistakes, starting with agreeing to be exclusive in the first place. When in doubt, always look at what you did and ask yourself what you could have done differently to affect a different outcome.
At the same time, I maintained enough frame and power that she’s chasing, and I did the absolute right thing in being willing to walk away. An LTR HAS to be compliant, and Yoga girl wasn’t–she didn’t leave when she was supposed to, she didn’t give me sex when I wanted it, and she deliberately ignored me–three major acts of non-compliance in less than 48 hours.
Now I can see guys being critical of my actions in two opposite ways:
- “You’re a bitch” (This btw, is the most basic criticism I see of any red pilled write up, and it’s often just trolling)
- “You’re being super harsh”
As for the first, in some ways yes, but that’s the whole point of relaying this story: it’s difficult to maintain frame and never fuck up or show affection with a super hot chick you’re spending lots of time with. That’s partially why I’m doing this–to show that it’s hard and to learn from my mistakes.
As for the second, that criticism is just flat wrong.
An LTR (which is not what I really wanted anyway) has to be compliant. If she’s not, she gets demoted to a FWB or dropped altogether.
Because as anyone who’s had an LTR with a woman (more than 3 months) knows, she’s going to constantly test you, fuck with you, and try to establish her frame over yours.
Remember, she doesn’t actually want you to lose the frame, but it’s just her instinct to do this–especially true in our blue pill society. The typical model of a relationship in modern America, whether in movies, TV, or even IRL, is the man being a bitch who’s basically a slave to his wife. When she says jump, motherfucker better jump.
Problem is, the woman no longer respects this man and is then prone to either cheat on and/or divorce him.
The only way to counteract this is to establish frame, dominance, and control, and refuse to relinquish that power. You can’t do this 100% of the time, but at whatever point you lose the frame, it’s over. So if she’s repeatedly refusing compliance and/or affection, the only thing you can do is go nuclear.
I agree, and obviously I fucked this one up royally. My only saving grace is that I was willing to walk away. So I guess we’ll see what happens from here with Yoga girl.