Field Report: first date lay.

(This actually happened a few days ago and I wrote it up the day after, just haven’t had the time to post, so if the timeline is weird, that’s why.)

Lately, things with women haven’t been going so hot for me. I stopped seeing Yoga girl and all my other leads have resulted in jack shit—lots of flakes.

However, last night I had a date with a girl I met quite a long time ago and I finally got a win.

I also did something I’ve never done before: we banged in the back of her truck.

Date goes like this: we met at a wine bar at 7, but there are a lot of older folks there so it’s kind of a weird vibe. We order two glasses of wine and go upstairs and talk a bit. She admits she’s nervous and downs her wine pretty quickly, but I use this as an excuse to demonstrate value, speaking with a deep, calm voice to give her comfort, and then I say, “this will make you feel better,” and kiss her.

Way too many guys don’t go for the kiss until the very end which is a HUGE mistake. I usually try to kiss a girl within the first hour or two and if I’m rebuked, I just try again in another 10-15 minutes and it almost always works. If you’re sexualizing the conversation, using kino, etc., it will work 9 times out of 10—and ultimately, if she doesn’t want to kiss you, you’re either doing something wrong or that’s a red flag she may not be all that sexual of a person OR she’s not into you.

Anyway, the vibe is weird so we bounce to a bar and get another drink and order some food. Since I’ve been shitty about it recently, I do a lot of teasing and qualifying, but she still says she’s a bit nervous (hasn’t been on a date for awhile according to her), so I slow things down and offer a bit more comfort, talking about shared experiences, likes and dislikes, etc.

I always remember what Todd V says, which is that success with women is a balance between value and comfort: too much value and the girl will become uncomfortable because she doesn’t feel she can trust you, vs. too much comfort and your value is diminished as there’s no sexual tension. The correct balance is the key and something guys should keep in mind in everything from cold approach to LTR’s.

After this, she wants to go to another bar, which is fine with me, but before we do I go for the pull, saying: why don’t we grab some wine at my house where it’s a bit quieter? My rule is after we’ve gone to two places (sometimes one), it’s time to make the pull—two changes in venue plus two-three hours of company is usually enough to the point where if she’s going to sleep with you that night, she will, and it’s better to pull earlier than later.

However she declines, says she has to get home early, so just one more drink and then night-night. I roll with that and we go to the next bar and get another drink and talk more—I should stop here and say that after the first kiss, I’m kissing her occasionally—not a ton, but just enough to get her to invest. I also make a point of flirting a bit with the bartenders at both places and engaging other customers, demonstrating the characteristics of an alpha male, which are, according to Mystery:

  1. Smiling
  2. Well-groomed
  3. Sense of humor aka funny/playful
  4. Connects with people–not just the target
  5. Social leader–dominant frame
  6. Confidence

After the third place, I try for the pull again, but she says she has to get home. We walk to her truck and start making out pretty heavy. I push her against the truck and put her hand on my dick, she starts moaning, etc.

Now the old me would have thought: great night, good makeout, time to go home, maybe we’ll have sex next time.

The new me says to her, “let’s get in your truck.” She opens the door and I get in the passenger seat, pull her on top of me and recline it as far as it will go. Now things are getting super hot and heavy after a few minutes, she’s grinding on me, I take off her sweater (HB 7 btw—cute face, nice body, really nice tits), and I whisper in her ear: let’s get in the back seat—I want to be inside you.

At first she declines, but I ask again in 5 minutes and she agrees, we get in the back seat and she rides the pony to glory.

When I relayed this story to my friend after he was shocked–like what? You fucked a girl on the first date?

My reply: yeah, about half the time. And that’s the truth. I’ve been on dates with 10 different girls in the past seven months (other lays have been pulls), and 6 have been first date lays, 2 I didn’t ever fuck because I fucked it up, and the other 2 I banged after more dates.

So the lesson here guys is don’t be afraid–as RedQuest said so eloquently of recent: get her back to your place to “watch a movie”, hang out for an hour, then try to put your penis in her.

Now, on the one hand, I’ve had people tell me that by doing this I risk losing the girl because she feels like things happened too quickly. But on the other hand, the best way to build comfort with a girl is to have sex with her, and the more comfortable she feels with you, the more likely she is to hang around.

So who knows? Maybe I don’t see this girl again, maybe I do–but if I can have sex with a chick, I’m going to do it.

Live in the now, right?

3 thoughts

  1. I like your blog. I think that whether to go for a 1st date lay really depends on how hot and self-confident the lady is. The really hot and self-confident ones want a guy who has the frame and value to take them all the way on a first date. The less confident ones need at least 1-2 dates to feel that they are close to you in value. Of course, alcohol always has an effect.

    Like

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