Had a really good session of day game last Saturday. Had 12 approaches, got three numbers and two Instas–I also happened to get another number from a woman I met at Costco Sunday. Go figure.
But perhaps I jinxed myself by saying they could all flake, because that’s exactly what’s happened.
I won’t lie, part of that makes me pretty angry–it seems shitty to give someone your number and then just not reply (like fuck, just say “I’m not interested”), but that’s the world we live in. Women are random. And they flake. That’s just the way it goes. And to whatever extent that’s frustrating, remember, they’ll get their comeuppance–everyone turns 35, and for a woman that’s not a good thing.
But more importantly it doesn’t really matter.
Like yeah, right now I’m on a cold streak with chicks. I ditched Yoga Girl and most of the numbers I’ve gotten over the past few weeks have been flaking.
But a year ago (give or take), when I was first came upon TRP, I was lucky to get one number a week doing cold approach cause I was shitty at it and I had AA, and I was basically confined to SOD for my dating life.
Last week I fucked a girl in the back of her truck.
So in perspective, things aren’t that bad.
I was reminded of this especially yesterday when I had a beer with a friend who told me he was going on a sixth date with some chick he met on Bumble and they’ve barely kissed. Fuck me! I don’t even know where to start in terms of helping him.
But anyway, when I got past being frustrated with the flaking, I reminded myself that this is how life is–it goes in streaks.
In basketball, teams have runs. In baseball, players have slumps. Teams in all sports have winning streaks and losing streaks.
And actually, a lot of that is totally out of their hands. It’s just luck.
In soccer (football) the difference between a perfect shot that edges by the post for the winning goal and the one that just misses and bangs off, deflecting to a player on the other team who takes it down field to score on the counter could be an inch or two–centimeters for my European brothers.
An inch that results in the difference of the entire match. A win or a loss–potentially the deciding factor in a playoff berth or championship. An inch!
But that’s the way it goes, and girls are no different.
Doing cold approach has a lot of advantages over SOD:
- I’m the one choosing, which means higher quality, hotter chicks.
- I’m displaying extremely high value–a confident, alpha male.
- The girl is out and about, which means she’s not a shy shut in and is less likely to be obsessed with television or social media.
- I have a shot–I can at least go talk to a girl IRL, but you can’t force a chick to swipe right.
But SOD has one advantage over cold approach (at least hypothetically), which is that it’s a girl who’s actually single and looking to date and lives in the area (usually).
That’s not necessarily true with cold approach, which is something guys who do it know.
So you combine some of that with the fact women are random and flaky in general, and it’s easy to see how you can have a streak where 10+ girls flake on you in a row.
But the reverse is true as well: I could go out tonight and get three more numbers and they might all be solid “yes” girls. If I went to a bar or club and stayed out late enough there’s a decent chance I could pull.
It comes out goes, ebbs and flows. Sometimes you’re hot and everything is amazing; sometimes everything sucks and nothing seems to go your way. In my experience, things in life tend to flow that way–it’s rare that things are just even keel.
Now, should I ask myself why I’m getting so many flakes? Yes. I need to do more grounding–explaining who I am and what I’m about. I need to build more value and comfort, extend the sets for another minute. I need to be better about seeding what we’re going to do on the date (although I did this with at least four or five of the numbers that have flaked over the past several weeks). In whatever way I can I need to sharpen the sword.
So there are definitely things I can do to get better at game and cold approach, but that’s kinda the point here: use failure as feedback, but value the process over the results. And focus on the wins.
The fact I’m approaching girls is a win–I can honestly say my AA is way less than what it used to be, and once I’ve done a couple sets it’s almost nothing.
The fact I’m getting numbers is a win–I’m building enough value and comfort that at least in the moment, these girls are interested enough to give me their phone number.
The fact I’m able to convert a date to a lay is a win, even when faced with shitty circumstances.
And in some ways, I’m grateful for my failures–I’m almost glad these bitches have been flaky. Because it forces me to hone my skill. It forces me to think about my game and how I can make my approaches more solid. Best of all, it forces me to go out and do more approaches, which means gaining more experience and that’s definitely good.
So anyway, just remember that in the Red Pill world, there’s a lot of chest thumping and trolling and shade and dick-measuring that goes on, but most of the guys who engage in that sort of behavior are guys who never get out of the house and do cold approach (they probably don’t get laid that often either which is why they’re so angry), because they don’t have the balls to face the music.
Yes, you will fail, as I am now. But at least part of that is out of your control. Focus on the process over results.
Life goes in streaks, and that’s true of women as well.