Yoga girl resurfaced after a couple of weeks, wanting to get some beers.
We did and it was fine, but the dynamic of what she wanted had changed. She complained that all our relationship was all about sex, and that she didn’t want to have sex every time we hung out.
- It was never the case that I pressured her into sex or put forward any kind of expectation–she loved getting banged (she was another first date lay) from day 1, wanted to experiment, etc.
- When a girl talks like this, there’s only one way to respond:
“Well if that’s how you feel let’s just be friends.” I said with a smile.
I could tell this pissed her off, but she had put herself in this box already so she couldn’t really back down at that point. She agreed–I think we may hit a yoga class this week.
And once there I’ll proceed to flirt with every hot girl in the class. Gotta love dread game.
Mean? Yes. But sexual strategy is amoral. You see, what yoga girl was trying to do is force me into a typical bf/gf LTR, and after taking a trip down that road once (although you could hardly call it long term, given it lasted all of a few weeks), I have no intention of doing so again.
Because things changed. Her sexual desire for me went down. She began to complain and argue with me more. All the things that happen in modern day male/female relationships began to happen, and every single one put me at a disadvantage.
On a side note, I really don’t understand why chicks seems to think everything will be fine if sex gets less frequent and she gets more demanding–I mean I guess aside from the fact that most guys are too desperate to find another woman they have to accept it. But seriously, where does it work in life that you get to give progressively less in any equation while demanding more? I’m convinced that only women who understand that sex needs to be a regular thing in a relationship are even worth considering for an LTR, because without that piece there’s no way it’s worth it for the guy.
The only advantage of an LTR is that you hypothetically have more access to sex, because the chick is around more. The problem is that this very fact turns her off. She no longer feels like you’re the player you once were and that shine comes off. A ton has been written about how women lose attraction in LTRs quicker than men, and that means that even though you should be having more/better sex, the opposite is often true–indeed, I’d argue at some point it’s going to be true no matter how big a baller the guy is…more on this in a future post.
The point I want to make here, however, is that you should never burn bridges with chicks if you don’t have to–especially if you wouldn’t mind sex with them in the future. Many girls will zombie back, almost inevitably.
Why? Because if you’re a high value alpha male who holds frame, fucks her good, and maintains abundance and pre-selection, you’re super rare.
Now the fact is, chicks generally do two things to fuck up relationships with an alpha male:
- They want an exclusive LTR. In this case, I don’t blame them–that’s their sexual strategy. Land an alpha, then try to lock him down.
- They still want to date other dudes and find some reason to start a fight, play games, blame the guy, and then peace out.
In either case, your job is to be friendly and non-reactive. If a girl wants an LTR–like in this case yoga girl does–just say that’s not what you want at this time, but that you still like her, yada, yada, yada.
The other thing you can do is friend-zone her, which is what I did in this case.
The point is that whatever you do with a girl you’ve gamed–even if it’s just getting a number–find a way to remain an option in her mind. And that means being cool, calm, non-reactive, and non-needy.
Because again, true alpha males with high SMV are super rare. So she’s eventually going to hit a point in her life–and yes, even in these days of Tinder and Bumble and all that–where she’s going to think back to how you were with her, how many orgasms she had with you, etc. and she’s going to send out that feeler call or text to find out what you’re up to, in which case, you might get some sex out of her before she once again tries to lock you down.
It may also be that you get a number from a girl, or go on a date, or whatever and she ghosts or flakes out–again, find a way to remain an option.
Women are super random and don’t really know what they want, so it may well be that while she doesn’t want you now, she will want you at some later point in time.
Another reason this is true is because a man’s SMV peaks so much later than a woman’s. The fact is that even in a case where a 35 year-old guy is fucking a 27 year-old chick, his SMV is either rising or steady for probably the next 10 years (assuming he lifts and all that good stuff), whereas hers is going to drop year by year.
Now generally speaking, rekindling relationships with chicks isn’t the best idea, but I think it’s valuable because it provides a source of abundance and it’s always good to have options. If you notice, chicks usually do the same thing, leaving the door open in case she changes her mind. So I guess we’ll see what happens, but yoga girl is now once again in my frame, and knows that if she wants to get back with me, she has to offer sex.