I had kind of a weird April. I banged three new chicks, but they were all one offs and I haven’t been able to get any new plates spinning or consistent sex since Yoga girl.
But failure sharpens the sword. I’m proud to say that I did more day game and approaches in April than I probably have over the five months before that, and though I’d love to have a lady or two I could count on for sex, the great thing about a blank slate is that there’s only one thing you can do: go run some game.
So that’s what I did yesterday. It was a beautiful day out, the sun was shining, and the girls were dressed to impress.
My first approach was a two set of black girls–I mention this, because I almost weaseled out, thinking super cool hot girls like this wearing giant hoop earrings aren’t going to be into a hipster white dude like me, we’re from different worlds–but then I was like, fuck it: and I opened.
And sure as shit guys, these girls were all about it. Both college students in their early 20’s. I opened directly, saying something about how they were looking beautiful and I would regret it the rest of the day if I didn’t talk to them.
They were skeptical at first, so I teased them about the hoop earrings, then stacked by guessing what major they had–I guessed art or graphic design, but she was a philosophy major, so we vibed on that: I asked her who her favorite philosopher was and why, got her to qualify a bit, etc.
Her name was Stella, which I connected with Tennessee William’s play, “A Streetcar Named Desire,” and we talked a bit about that. Hopefully it’s becoming clear why being intelligent and well-read is important–successful banter with random people requires a large set of knowledge.
Anyway, long story short I asked her what she was up to this weekend and suggested we get a drink, she agreed, and I got her number. I was better during the whole set about teasing and challenging these girls as well, so hopefully that decreases the chance of flaking.
I quickly opened another set of girls, but they seemed nervous and I couldn’t get them to hook so I moved on.
The next girl I opened blew me out–the only thing I’ll say about that is that it just doesn’t matter. She ignored me, and sure a few people saw that, but who fucking cares? It’s a big city and I’ll never see her again–actually the crazy thing is that if I do see her again and she probably won’t remember that happened and might even be receptive to me the next time. Girls are super fucking random.
The next girl (also black–which I only mention because there are very few African Americans where I live–HB 8) was walking out of a book store and I did a front stop and a direct open: “You are looking quite beautiful today–I love your dress.”
Crazy thing is she immediately hooks, and is like, thanks and I ask her name, she asks mine, and then she says, “this is perfect I was looking for someone to tell me where I can get some good happy hour.”
And I say, “I know some places, do you trust me–I’ll walk you to a great place just down the street.”
So we bounce to a bar near there I know of that’s pretty chill, except I forgot they have this street fair on the same day, so it’s fucking packed, but luckily we find a place in the back where we can sit down and chat.
From here I go into first date mode, balancing teasing and challenging with building rapport and comfort, making strong, sexual eye contact, and leaning back, bringing her into my frame both physically and conversation wise.
After a couple drinks, I’m like, let’s get out of here and go somewhere quieter and get some food. And here’s where I made a mistake–the next venue was too low key and low energy, and the date lost some momentum.
The other thing was that the place was fucking expensive–I had forgotten how pricey dinner there was, and I ended up footing the bill, so not ideal. I’m not a cheapskate, but neither am I rich, so I try not to invest in big fancy dinners, especially on a first date.
At the same time guys, my advice is that if she’s not forthcoming to split, just pay the fucking bill. It is NOT alpha, outcome independent behavior to get worried about a few bucks–anytime you end up looking cheap, you’re losing in the eyes of the girl.
Thing was, I actually managed with some decent game to turn the situation around and continue to have fun and keep good energy going through dinner, and then I look at the time and realize I’ve fucked myself logistically–I parked my car in a place where I would have to move it by ten because they close the lot.
Because at this point it’s the end game. Her hotel isn’t far from here, and I’ve certainly earned the position of walking her home or joining her in an Uber to her hotel, and then it’s simply making an excuse to go up: I need to use the internet, charge my phone, use the bathroom, or even just, “hey, show me around I’ve never been inside because I live here.”
But I can’t because I need to move my car. I don’t mind paying for a dinner or some drinks, but $300 to get my car from a towing lot–plus not having my car to get to work the next day? That’s just not something I can afford, even if I was for sure getting laid.
And that was in question.
I tried to kiss her during dinner, but she turned away, which is fine–I told her I was going to try again later and played it off.
So long story short, I tell her I’ve got to move my car, we exchange numbers and kiss a little as she’s waiting for her Uber back to her hotel. Maybe here I should’ve said, “shall I grab a bottle of Champagne and join you later?” but I didn’t.
Anyway, I get back to my car and send her the text: “It was nice meeting you NAME, if you want someone to come tuck you in before bed, let me know ;)”
She replies: “But I’m a good Christian girl ;), blah, blah, blah…”
I reply: “I’ve heard that even good Christian girls sometimes have adventures…”
She replies: “lol”
End scene. And once again: FUCK!!!
I blew it. Now to be fair, I’m not sure the lay goes down–she was extremely prudish and a little stiff in her sexuality. But then, once you get a girl in her hotel room after a few glasses of wine, good things can happen. In the end, my logistics screwed me.
And that’s sort of not my fault. I had simply planned on running a few hours of day game, and then I was actually supposed to meet a friend to hang out for a bit, in which case where I parked was perfectly fine.
That being said: lesson learned. Girls are so random as is game, that I think if you’re out picking up girls, you HAVE to anticipate the lay, even if it’s super unlikely. Which means that you always have a condom, that your house/apt is clean, and that you don’t park somewhere they’re going to tow you away if you stay out too late.
Overall, however, it was a good session of game. It was my first instant date while running game–yes I’ve pulled home from bars, but that’s different. This required building comfort and value and maintaining that with a complete stranger for nearly four hours, and I think there was a 50/50 chance she takes me up to her hotel room if I don’t fuck up my logistics.
So my stats…
Opens: 4 (would have had more, but the I-date consumed my night)
Blow outs: 1
Instant date: 1
Oh, BTW, I’ve concluded that exchanging Instagrams with a girl is basically worthless. Ask for the number–I don’t even think I’ve gone on a date with a girl I met through Instagram, although I have though snap chat (yoga girl). So that would be my recommendation: phone number, Snap, FB Messenger, What’s App, or bust. I wouldn’t even bother exchanging on Instagram–I mean, in my case I’m living in the U.S., it’s pretty much either number or bust.
That doesn’t mean she won’t flake, but if she doesn’t want to exchange numbers then there’s a 99% she’s not invested enough to go on a date with–at the same time, girls are so vain these days they’re more than happy to have another follower on Insta.
So yeah, fuck Instagram for game–get her number. My plan if she doesn’t want to exchange numbers and suggests Insta will be, “that’s cool, but I’m good. If you don’t want to give me your number then you’re not into it. Nice meeting you.” And honestly I think that willingness to walk away gives you a better chance because you’re demonstrating outcome independence and alpha behavior, so that if she does giver you the number, it’s going to be more solid.