Mantra two: seek high percentage opportunities.
I went to a bar last night to watch some basketball with a few friends. A little disappointing because I knew I wouldn’t be able to run any game, and that’s sort of sad on a Friday night when there’s sure to be some hot women running around–but it’s also important to enjoy time with your buddies and take breaks from pick-up.
That said, Mantra One is always be on, always be opening, so I was certainly keen to open girls if the opportunity presented itself, and it did.
Well sort of.
There was one chick near us with red hair who was pretty cute, probably a 7. But it was almost impossible to open her, because people were getting super amped up about the game, she was in a group already, etc.
And this led me to a few realizations:
- Pickup up girls at a sporting event is difficult, because the focus is on the game, and therefore cold approaching is pretty uncalibrated–this is much better done in a social circle, where there are already chicks that are part of the group you or others know already.
- Small venues are likewise shitty for pick-up, because even if you’re very good and DGAF, the girl for sure does–her ASD (anti-slut defense) is on high alert because people can see exactly what’s going on.
There’s a great quote in The Great Gatsby where Jordan Baker says, “I like large parties–they’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.” This is 100% true, which is why small events, parties, and venues are shitty for pick-up: everyone’s up in everyone else’s business, whether they want to be or not.We talk a lot about logistics in terms of getting laid–choosing a bar near your place for dates, having a plausible reason to bounce the girl back, not parking in a place you’ll get towed, etc.
But this is just as important for pick-up. You can’t run day game if there aren’t any chicks on the street you’re walking. You can’t pick up girls at a bar if it’s tiny and she’s hyper aware of the attention. And if you’re at an event that is engaging everyone in attendance, it’s going to be very difficult to open because it’s incredibly uncalibrated.
Additionally, when the ratio of guys to girls gets anywhere above 3/2, that’s bad, and if it’s above 2/1 you should probably leave. Yes, your game may be better than anyone else’s at that place, but at bars/nightclubs, every guy thinks he’s a pick-up artist and the more abundance a girl has, the less receptive to your approach she’s going to be.
The point overall is to seek high percentage opportunities, which is now officially mantra 2 of U-game.
I’ll tell the story of last night to make the point.
Like I said, everyone in the bar was watching the game and super engaged, so approaching then would have been uncalibrated. The good thing was, this girl was gave me several IOIs as the game was going on, looking at me off and on and flicking her hair.
So I wait until the end of the game, then open with a remark about it since it was obviously what everyone was watching. I then switch and start asking about her rings, she says she loves rocks–I say she has green eyes, the color of the earth–and ask if she’s a geologist. She says no, so I ask her what she does…
It’s actually going well, but then my friend fucks it up and says he has to leave–obviously I need to say goodbye, but this totally breaks what I had going with the girl and she kind of retreats back into her group, and then as more people leave it becomes pretty awkward.
Now I SHOULD have just gone right back and said, hey, gotta go, but you’re really cute, etc. and gone for the number close. It would have been super uncalibrated and a very high likelihood of failure, but who fucking cares–still kind of mad at myself for not asking.
Always remember that guys: you’ll feel way worse if you puss out and don’t ask then if you ask and get rejected.
Anyway, after this there’s a small bar across the street, so I go over there to see what’s going on… and in fact, there are some hot chicks in there. Cool. But the problem: how do you approach? It’s way more difficult in a one room bar where everyone can see everyone else and there’s nothing to draw their focus away.
Now I did–probably opened 5 or 6 different girls while I was there, but it wasn’t by going from table to table: I took a seat next to where people were ordering drinks and did it that way.
In the end however, a shitty night. One very cute girl turned out to be a lesbian (although I should’ve just asked for her number anyway as she was giving me IOIs), another was with her boyfriend–actually two were…
Anyway, long story short, I didn’t get a single fucking number last night, and it was mostly due to the logistics being shitty.
Hopefully this is also an illustration of how hard it is to overcome bad habits–I had two opportunities to number close last night and I didn’t even give myself a chance.
That being said, it seems to me that a player needs to give himself at least 2-3 high volume, high percentage opportunities a week until he’s got the number of plates spinning he’s looking for (and even then, it’s still important to continue doing cold-approach at least some, because those plates can break anytime). For me this means day game, where if I go out on a given afternoon or evening I can usually get between 10-15 approaches, or else it means going to bars or nightclubs that are large enough to allow some intimacy when gaming girls, as ironic as that sounds.
I’m also really keying in on festivals, farmers’ markets, street fairs–any kind of large scale event that will draw a lot of people. Today there’s a Cinco de Mayo thing going on, so I’m going to check that out and run some day game.
But the takeaway here is to seek those high percentage opportunities. It’s like in basically any sport: is it easier to score from the 20 yard line, or the 10 yard line? Is it more likely you’ll make a lay-in or a jump shot? Is it better to swing at a fastball down the middle or a curveball low and away?
We all know the answer is whatever yields the higher percentage. And too often in game–if guys have any experiences like me–we end up with bad logistics where running game is akin to trying to throw a Hail Mary.
Should you still throw it? Yes, absolutely.
But you’d be much better off running the ball in from the 5-yard line.