U-game Mantra 4: Do the opposite of the AFC–DGAF + abundance.
I went out to do some day game this past Saturday, and then piggybacked that with some bar/night game with friends that evening. I also went out and did a bit of game Sunday, but let’s start with Saturday.
- Opens: 9
- Direct: 5
- Indirect: 3
- Vibe: 5
- BF/Married: 3
- Blowout: 1
- Pussed out/eject: 1
- Weasels: 4
- FB: 1
- Numbers: 2
So, two things were reaffirmed to me after going out immediately on Saturday.
#1: Day game really does work.
I know I shouldn’t even have to say that, but as most beginners know, even if you’ve gotten laid from day game a few times, sometimes you’re just like, “does this really work? Isn’t it weird?”
The answer to the first question is yes, unequivocally, and as for two, as long as the girl doesn’t think it’s weird it doesn’t matter. And on that, most don’t–usually they’re flattered.
Seriously guys, if you do this on a consistent basis, you will get numbers. Yes, many of those numbers will flake, but some of them won’t, and if you’ve got your dating game sorted, you will get laid if you keep doing this–with hotter, younger girls than you will meet any other way.
#2: Getting reps is huge.
I had a crazy mass approach session last week (btw, all but one number flaked, but we’re supposed to go out this week, so I guess we’ll see), which was really good although it was too many for one day IMO. 10 or more seems like a good benchmark, but it’s just as important to get out and game with some frequency.
There was a long stretch where I couldn’t get out as much as I wanted and it really stunted my growth. There is tremendous value in doing this consistently without huge intervals of time between sessions, because you improve faster with the feedback you’re getting from girls.
Calibration is super key, you develop some go to lines, teases, and stories, and just like anything, the more you do it, the better you get. But you have to get some frequency–imagine a golfer who goes out once a week vs. a guy who hits balls three times a week. Maybe they even hit the same number of balls. I’d still guess that 99% of the time, the guy who hits with more frequency is going to do better.
The other thing is that as a beginner, your biggest obstacle is AA (approach anxiety). As you guys can see in the stats, I weaseled on 4 girls Saturday (all quite hot) and pussed out on another (I opened but then ejected). Statistically, if I approach those five, I get at least 1-2 more numbers, and given that we know half or more will flake, that’s no small thing: it increases my chance of getting a lay from that session by 40-50%.
It seems to me AA is kind of like butterflies in sports. Before the game it’s totally natural to be a bit nervous, but once you start playing, those butterflies go away and you get in the moment. And that moment is easier to slip into–being present I guess and in a state of deep work–with higher frequency of both approaches and sessions.
I imagine it never goes away entirely, but at some point with enough in-field experience, AA isn’t going to stop you or ruin your game the way it can if you’re only doing this infrequently.
My AA Destroying Mindset: I might get zero numbers, and that’s OK–it’s the same number I’ll get if I don’t do this. Pretty girls are out right now and they want me to talk to them–they want me to win. Even if I get blown out on all 10 approaches, I will be a better, stronger man at the end of this session. Embrace the hard way and do what others cannot.
So anyway, I got three contacts from Saturday–pinged all three Sunday–two are responsive, although the Italian chick I FB closed is leaving tomorrow, so that’s probably a dead lead.
Sunday I didn’t go out and do proper day game, but I ran some errands, met a friend for some beers, and was generally out and about, so I was able to do a bunch of one-offs:
- Opens: 6
- Vibe: 5
- Indirect: 4
- Direct: 2
- BF/Married: 1
- Lesbian: 1
- Numbers: 2
Nothing really stood out to me about any of these in particular, except to say that something I’ve encountered a lot is I’ll open a 2-set, run good game, and then ask one of the chicks for her number–she has a boyfriend or is married, but her friend isn’t.
Now part of that is just luck, but women don’t like being second choice. For example, with the girls I opened yesterday, I could tell that they both liked me and if I’d asked the other one for her number first and not the chick who was married (it would have also been nice if she was wearing a fucking ring), 90% sure I would’ve gotten it.
However, as it was, even though her friend was like, she’s single you should get her number, the other girl was like, “no, not interested,” even though, like I said, I’m pretty sure she was, but her arrogance/ego couldn’t accept being second choice.
I’m not really sure what can be done about this, other than maybe doing more to screen for logistics. Maybe the tease–“well how is it that both of you beautiful ladies are single?” Because then they have to show their hand before you show yours, but anyway, if you guys have any suggestions on that I’m all ears.
OK, final meta thought for today and it relates to U-game:
There’s no reason to ping a number more than once; if she’s not responding, run more game, get more numbers.
I said in this post that you should treat a non-reply as a shit test–I don’t think that’s wrong, but I recommended re-pinging after 48 hours. I now think it’s better to just STFU.
I didn’t really understand how powerful that was until I started getting texts from chicks I’d pinged only once weeks ago–something I saw Runner DG tweet about (btw, if you want to follow me on Twitter, I’m @redpilldadpua) the other day.
Again, you have to think about it from the girl’s perspective: you’re just a random guy on the street. Now granted, if you did it right, an attractive, cool guy by all accounts–but still just a dude. And for hot chicks, dick is a cheap fucking commodity.
Additionally, modern women (to be clear, I’m in the US, so I can’t speak to what European chicks are like, but the one Italian FB close I got wants to keep chatting even though she’s flying back home) are super fucking flaky and bad at communication.
She might get your text and be interested, but not reply for a few days. She might forget. She might be doing other things and then get back to you in a week or two. Maybe she has a boyfriend and then a month from now they break up or she’s pissed at him. Who knows? But the timeline that exists for her to text you back is a lot longer than what we think. Is it rude? Yes. But as any RP guy knows, women aren’t accountable moral actors in today’s society. They’re not taught to be and society doesn’t hold them to any sort of standard on this–not good IMO, but it is what it is… we can’t change that so we may as well deal with it as effectively as possible.
And I’ll be honest, if she doesn’t text back, the most common thing is that she’s never going to.
But here’s the thing. If you only send the one text, you’re implying massive DGAF abundance to the chick. Because you did everything a high quality guy would do–you opened her, showed you were cool, got her number, and then texted her… once.
When she didn’t reply, you didn’t keep pinging like most guys will, because presumably, you have other women and/or better things to do than deal with a flaky girl. And remember, the framework a lot of these girls are working from is SOD (swipe/online dating), where they’ll have a bunch of guys text them–they don’t reply–and then the guy keeps texting, then gets angry, then un-matches.
By re-pinging, I realized I was doing the same thing–a realization I came to after a few girls I hadn’t re-pinged, because I’d just honestly forgotten, texted me to see what I was doing weeks later.
Again, I want to be clear, you’re not going to hear from 80-90% of the numbers who don’t reply. Ever. That’s just the way it goes. Also, I’m talking about non-responsive numbers from the first text. If she’s texted you back after the first text or even a few, and then goes silent, I think the 48-hour roll off and then re-ping is fine… although after that it’s the same thing if she doesn’t respond: STFU.
As I do this more and more, it is so clear that to be effective in modern game you have to show you are different than other guys. You have to be super polarizing and show massive abundance, because most guys are the exact opposite–they’re drooling fucking pussies who fawn over girls, text too much, and defer constantly with no idea how to lead.
So now I think about it this way: what would a blue-pill punk, AFC (average frustrated chump for newbies) do? He’d ping her a bunch of times even though she’s not responding. And that means a player needs to do the opposite.
U-Game Mantra 4: Do the opposite of the AFC–DGAF + abundance.
We’ll see, but for now I’m only texting girls once after getting the number–if no response, NEXT.
As always, would love to hear what guys out there think about this… and if anyone has any magical texting strategies put the links below. I’m not sure how much can really be done via text–my hunch is that she either likes you and will reply or not 90% of the time, and that is based on randomness and how strong your game is–but I’m interested in optimizing.
Much love fellas!