‘merica B-day stats; plates falling? And Trouble is…

So, like any good red-blooded American I went out on the streets of my city on the 4th (finally with a wing) and did some day game then some bar game back to day game then concert game and finally gutter game. Let’s start with the numbers:

  • Opens: 15
  • Direct: 10
  • Indirect: 5
  • Vibe: 11
  • Numbers: 7
  • Insta: 1 (out of town, otherwise never get Insta–it’s garbage)
  • BF/M: 1
  • Blowouts: 2

Not too bad, but I also don’t want to give the impression this was a two hour session of straight approaching. More an all afternoon/evening affair with intermittent approaching. Started at 3pm and got my last number around 11pm. It was actually a good example of how a lot of guys can just plan to do fun social shit with their friends on a weekend or holiday and as long as there’s a high concentration of people, you can do really well running game and it doesn’t have to be the entire focus. I actually spent a lot of the day/night listening to music and talking with my friends.

I should explain the reason I don’t go into my approaches specifically is that I’m not doing anything particularly special or new. I pretty much follow the basic pick-up London Day Game model:

  1. Open: notice something about the girl or accuse her of something on the approach.
  2. Stack: tell a story about whatever it is she says in response and talk about myself in a way that demonstrates higher value.
  3. Vibe: flirting with the girl, showing intent, teasing, etc. to the point where she “hooks,” meaning that she’s now genuinely interested in me.
  4. Invest: making the girl qualify herself to you as well as giving her some information that makes it seem like you’re actually a real person (e.g. I’m going on vacation soon; I’m a writer; I love to snowboard).
  5. Close: getting her number or taking her on an i-date.

At least… that’s what I’m trying to do. I was lucky enough to record a few of my interactions in-field (of course, both times didn’t close), but listening back to myself, I can see that I’m doing a poor job of it (also why I didn’t post the audio–these are examples of what not to do). I’ll bet it’s something a lot of beginners are doing too:

I ask way too many fucking questions on the open.

Once I get into the set I do better, and in my later sets I was starting to open with an accusation/tease (I told one girl she looked cute, kinda like Yoda), which works really well for setting a flirty tone to the interaction. But it’s taking me too long to get into the stacking and vibing, and I’m often skipping the investment phase and going right for the close.

Guys should remember that in game, your voice tonality, eye contact, and overall body language are just as, if not more important than what you say. On this front I’m lucky because I’ve had a ton of experiences through work where I have to speak a lot so I’m very comfortable being social, and I did a nice job of speaking low and slow, laughing (not like a clown–just a guy having fun enjoying life), and keeping things light and flirty.

I can’t stress this enough: record your sets. Not every single one, but at least one or two each session. Now you’re hearing what the girl hears–and that’s huge.

So the two things I need to work on for my next session:

  1. Take the answer to my first question or guess about her job, what she’s doing, or where she’s from, etc. and get into the stacking and vibing.
  2. Be more polarizing and sexual–tease more, flirt more. My old blue pill beta self still wants to be nice and I need to murder that fucker because he’s killing my game. I swear, the whole nice guy thing is a fucking curse; it is so hard to drop because it was part of our social conditioning–at least where I grew up in the U.S.

Anyway, it was a good session. Of the seven numbers I took, six responded at least once. Two dropped off because they were tourists and I couldn’t manage to get them out. Another three stopped responding after the initial text. One keeps texting me back but is out of town. And I have a date with the final number this week.

One thing I’m learning about true day game: tons of numbers flake. Like, I can see why listening to my last recording–the girls don’t know a ton about me and don’t feel like I’m high value because I’m not properly stacking and vibing–but at the same time, I know that’s also just a fact of day game–even with good game numbers flake, girls flake on dates, etc. It’s a fact that the modern female is just an incredibly indecisive, passive human.

I used to get extremely frustrated about it, but now I simply accept that this is the way it is. My red pill training is kicking in: be stoic, work to change what you can to get better, and accept there are things you can’t change. Focus on the process, not the results.

Anyway, I feel good about where I’m headed with day game–although I’m going to have to bust it to get to 200 more sets by the end of the summer.

Plates falling, but do I care to catch them?

So I’ve been fucking Kitty pretty regularly, but the last time I went over to her house, not only did we not fuck (she did at least make me dinner), but she revealed that she wants to play a dominant role the next time we do.

I said no. Hard pass.

Not sure how other game guys feel about this–and I’m sure RedQuest could speak more to it as he’s been in that world more than I have–but I don’t feel like it’s a good road to go down allowing the woman to be dominant.

To begin, it’s unnatural. Why the fuck would I allow a person I could break like Batman’s back over Bain’s knee control me physically?

It makes no sense, but the second issue I have with it is that it destroys the polarity of the relationship. I’m the man, she’s the woman. I’m powerful, she’s delicate. I lead, she follows. And that doesn’t mean I’m a dick when I’m with chicks–if she has an honest objection or suggestion (I don’t want sushi; I want tacos) then yeah, whatever.

But the moment she starts leading and deciding things she loses respect for you. And I can’t imagine what happens in the mind of a woman when a grown ass man allows her to beat him during sex.

So anyway, no ma’am. Which means it’s probably bye-bye to Kitty. I’d like to say I feel bad, but honestly, I don’t… I guess we’ll see if she comes back into my frame.

If not: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A quick point of AWALT on Kitty: I opened her last fall, sidling up next to her at a table in a bar near my place, and ended up getting her number. I fucked her on the first date, we fucked again on the second date, and then we had three dates in a row where we didn’t fuck, and I just stopped bothering with her (#7–rule of 3).

But smartly, I didn’t nuke her. I just withdrew my attention. And guess what? She chased. And chased. And chased. Texting me, staying on the radar, with minimal effort on my end (sometimes I texted her back, sometimes not)… until we finally ended up fucking again last month.

Just goes to show that once a girl thinks you’re an alpha and hooks, you will stay in the back of her mind for a long, long time, and she will absolutely chase you.

On the flip side of that equation, my other plate Socks’ attention is waning, and so is mine. We’ve been banging a little less than once a week, going on fun little dates and then ending up at one of our places for sex.

She’s hot, young, and phenomenal in bed… but the amount of sexual attention she craves is more than I can give her–and I don’t mean in the form of sex. Like, this chick just loves the fact guys think she’s hot and can’t get enough of that attention; a classic cock tease. Remember how I warned you guys about waitresses and strippers–this is why.

Anyway, it just seems like our time together has run its course–I might take the gas off a little and see what happens. Keeping her as a booty call option would actually be a phenomenal result.

Trouble is exactly what I thought she’d be.

I wrote a bit ago about how I gamed and fucked a girl I call Trouble, but that train has come to a screeching halt.

As predicted, she tried to lock me down–and right quick: on our second official date no less.

I was actually surprised at how uncalibrated it was. First bar, bounce to get some food, bounce to third bar, bounce to my place, and then cue speech:

“I don’t want to be on the Bachelor, I’ve had a lot of guys who were just fucking around (shocking), I want a partner, I’m not that kind of girl (we fucked on the first date), I’m looking for something real, etc.”

SMH.

I played it cool, escalated on her to see if I could goad her into fucking–but it was futile and eventually I told her I needed to go to bed and she left.

And while I firmly believe sexual strategy is amoral, I also think there’s a point where if the girl is clearly saying she wants exclusivity and you can’t give it to her, you should just let her go (I also think if you get backed into a corner and end up agreeing, you should still do whatever the hell you want–the former is just much more straightforward). RedQuest has a good blog on this about how you catch and release these chicks–as a fisherman, I appreciate the analogy.

So the next day I texted Trouble and told her that I didn’t think I was the guy for her, respected her honesty, and I’d be happy to remain friends… and she swam back into the waters, free to pursue the beta males who might bow to her demands.

Some red pill truths here though: she’s 34, good looking (at least hot enough–a 7 with very, very nice tits and body), but has a kid and is divorced.

Now, as someone who also has a kid and is divorced, I don’t really care–it’s not a statement of judgment–but it was kind of astonishing to see how much power she thought she had. Like, we’re talking second date and she’s trying to lock me down with a huge, dramatic speech type arrogance.

And maybe some of that was mixed with honesty and desperation, but it just goes to show that 99% of the population has no idea what we know–they haven’t even thought about it.

For instance, when I talked with her about why I thought women in their 30’s should be willing to date guys in their late 40’s or 50’s, she recoiled: “I don’t want to be with someone who I’ll have to feed through a straw when he’s 80 and I’m in my 60’s,” and I’m thinking, “darlin’, if you stay single, in 10 years your only prospects will be desperate old men, and in another 10 after that you’ll be invisible to 99% of all men.”

It’s just so odd. I don’t understand it: how do women not realize that there’s a HUGE divide regarding age and attractiveness depending on one’s sex? It’s not equal. Men are much more attractive–including looks-wise–when we’re older. Women… not so much. And yet I think most chicks–and probably a lot of dudes–think erroneously that people pretty much match up based on age.

The other piece I don’t understand is why women think they can make this speech, which has now happened several times since I became single–the TL;DR: “I’ve banged a bunch of guys. I may or may not have had sex with you, but unless you commit to me exclusively, no more sex.”

So basically, she wants me to pay for something she was previously giving away for free? And the value of that thing is getting progressively and exponentially lower as time marches on? WHY IN FUCK’S NAME WOULD ANY SANE MAN PAY FOR THAT SHIT?

The truth is that no sane man would.

However, what’s crazy is it sounds like this chick has lots of orbiters who are interested and would happily wife her up given the chance. But we all know why she won’t: because they don’t give her the feelz.

In some ways I feel bad for women who pursue this strategy, because it is both so bad and so common. Here’s the pattern (I’m sure many of you are familiar with it):

  • Chick starts to hit wall between 27-35.
  • She’s tired of getting pumped and dumped (which happens because she’s on Tinder matching with guys 10-20% above her SMV).
  • Wants something “real.”
  • On date two or three begins negotiating sex for a relationship.
  • Guy (again, probably 10-20% above SMV for same reason as above), says buh-bye.
  • Blames men and thinks all guys are afraid of commitment instead of examining why she doesn’t meet guys who aren’t.

Something that’s been forgotten in modern life is that for a long term relationship or marriage to work, both partners have to feel like they’re getting a good deal and benefitting from said relationship.

For guys this means:

  • Condition 1: the girl is attractive enough that he feels he can be attracted to her for a long time.
  • Condition 2: there is regular sex.
  • Condition 3: she actively does nice things for him and makes him feel loved.

For girls this means:

  • Condition 1: guy is successful financially/has his shit together/is sufficiently attractive.
  • Condition 2: he makes an effort to give her good sex.
  • Condition 3: he does special things and surprises her enough to renew/refill the feelz.

IMO, most LTR’s and marriages don’t work because over time people don’t meet these conditions, but the most common reason they don’t happen as often anymore (fewer people are getting married) is because many if not most people meet via swipe dating which means that she doesn’t meet Condition 1 for the guy at the outset (again, because chicks match with guys who have way higher SMV than they do on the apps) OR the guy’s a true Chad and matches with hot chicks all the time, so why settle down?

In any case, it’s unfortunate. The honest truth is that a lot of these moms and older women would be better off to live a non-monogamous life OR have a guy like me on the side who’s giving her good sex while looking for the chode beta who will give her the monogamous relationship she wants and then dump my ass.

But from what I’ve seen, women have a really hard time being rational or strategic about relationships. I have some guesses as to why that is, but I’ll save that for another post.

4 thoughts

  1. Great post and update – you covered a lot of ground. I like your summary of what keeps relationships going. I think men providing Condition 3 to women (keeping them from getting bored) is crucial and there’s and art and science to it.

    I’m especially with you on girls who give the “I’ve banged a bunch of guys. I may or may not have had sex with you, but unless you commit to me exclusively, no more sex.” This is a non-starter for me. I find it tends to be girls aged 27-33…so I avoid that age group.

    I agree with you on Kitty – never let a girl take the frame and be dominant over you when you were before. It sounds unusual you guys went three dates with no sex after fucking the first few dates. Are you able to share what changed?

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  2. >>Not sure how other game guys feel about this–and I’m sure RedQuest could speak more to it as he’s been in that world more than I have–but I don’t feel like it’s a good road to go down allowing the woman to be dominant.

    I’ve never run into this… my experience is pretty wide but not that wide. I’ve had women be passive aggressive, women be outright aggressive (yell at me without provocation, that kind of thing), but not this. Women have mentioned that their ex liked to be pegged as a broaching of the subject to find out if I would like to be (no).

    I think I would have handled this the way you did.

    Maybe you should take that girl Kitty to a sex club and experiment there with her. No cost to you if she’s on her way out anyway.

    I’m sure you already know this but, if you want to keep a woman like Trouble around, the right framing is something like, “I don’t know you or whether we’d work well together, but sexual compatibility is very important to me, and we should explore how our dynamic might work.” But it sounds like you’re better off letting her go, unless you have crazy sexual chemistry. Particularly if she’s 34. Send her a feeler text in a month or two inviting her over for a drink and see if you happen to hit her when she’s horny. She is the sort of person who would make me tempted to do something like this with: https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2017/06/01/snapchat-in-game-wish-this-was-you/, although that’s probably just my stupid ego talking.

    Cool post, dude. Solidly agree on the recording thing. I have never been serious and consistent enough to do it but I probably should have.

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  3. “the second issue I have with it is that it destroys the polarity of the relationship. ”

    What you can do is say “hmm, you know it sounds like an interesting experiment”, and then top from the bottom, so to speak. This way you can still maintain the proper dynamic by leading the interaction while she “dominates” you. Enjoy letting her have her fun time with her fantasy. Afterward, if you prefer, you can take over and ream her out when she’s done with her fantasy.

    I find it either adorable when girls try to play like this…. or really creepy (e.g. if I all of a sudden get a psycho vibe from the girl, in which case, HARD NEXT).

    Like

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