FR on game (day and night), dating, and an alpha widow.

So I did actually get to some day game last Thursday, even though the weekend was a fail.

Stats:

  • Opens: 12
  • Direct: 6
  • Indirect: 6
  • Stack: 4
  • Vibe: 4
  • Invest: 3
  • Number: 2
  • Weasels: 3
  • Didn’t ask on purpose: 2 (one clearly too young I realized after opening; the other just wasn’t ultimately that attractive–probably should’ve asked anyway)
  • BF with her: 1 (he was NOT happy–I told her she looked like an old time movie star cause she had the head scarf and big sunglasses. He’s like, “you’re right, she is!” Then grabs her hand and whisks her off.)
  • BF: 1
  • Blowout: 2

Of the numbers I got, I’m meeting one of the girls for coffee on Thursday–she’s Tanzanian, which is cool. The texting has been solid, she seems genuinely interested, only here for another month, so hopefully something can happen before she heads back.

The other number is responding, but reluctantly (her name is Moxie–or at least that’s what she told me–my next tease will definitely call her out on the fact that she doesn’t have much).

Anyway, the reason I started keeping stats on the stack, vibe, and investment stages of the interaction are that I think this is where the flakes come from. If the interaction boils down to basically you getting a girl’s number off the street and is very quick, polite, low investment, etc., she’s going to flake 9/10 times.

Thus, grounding the interaction is incredibly important–Nash deserves the credit for getting me to think about this, but look at things from the girl’s perspective:

  1. You’re a random guy off the street. Well dressed/fashionable: yes. Socially calibrated: yes, but actually off because you’re more socially calibrated than is normal. Remember, most guys DON’T/CAN’T do what we do–and that is both a turn on and deeply suspicious.
  2. If there’s no event/reason you’re meeting her, the narrative is missing unless you provide it. Women love a story, especially a love story. But without a narrative, you’re swimming in flaky waters.
  3. She can match with good looking guys basically at the drop of a hat if she uses swipe dating. She has a constant reminder of what they look like via the app, as well as their bio. Now, deep in her soul, she knows you have way more balls than those guys, but if there’s no story or urgency, why does she care? Truth is: she doesn’t. She should, but my guess is that this is the next step in the dating game and we haven’t quite gotten there yet.
  4. One way to get rid of you/end the interaction is to just give the number. My guess is that 1/3 to 1/2 of all closes via day game are for that reason.
  5. She’s a capricious, flaky girl who’s been raised in the age of social media and swipe dating. For her, getting male attention has never been an issue–what she wants is HQ/special male attention. But in a lot of day game sets, this is not established. You’re just a dude, not THE DUDE.

It’s been really interesting and exciting to be able to connect with guys (shout out to RedCoco especially as we DM quite a bit about game and women and life, but also Mr. V, RedQuest, and Day Game Rules) who do this regularly on Twitter, but I have to say, success in day game seems quite difficult. I mean, I’m sorry, but I don’t want my approach to lay count to be more than about 50/1. However, if we don’t qualify what the set looks like and what’s happening in the set as well as the youth/beauty of the girl, those are huge variables. Like, if one were to only approach 18-24 year old 8+s, my guess is that it’s going to be fucking rough, as those kinds of girls are always going to have options (like Socks who went from a regular plate to ghosting me for no reason). Yes, that’s the goal, but there’s nothing wrong with talking to attractive older women and 7’s as well.

Seems to me guys are way better off to get into longer, more grounded sets than simply getting reps. Reps are good–I need to get a hell of a lot more–but you’re only as good as the number of girls you fuck, and if opens are leading to shaky sets and number closes are fast and uncalibrated, we know what’s going to happen: most girls are going to flake.

Please understand, this is not me taking a shot at anyone. I have mad respect for anyone out there purposely and regularly doing day game, because it’s scary and it’s hard. I’ve been lucky to get a decent number of lays in my first 300 or so true day game approaches, but I’ll admit, 2 of those girls were 7’s, 1 was a 6 (yikes–SDL/pull in my defense after a date flaked on me), and as of late my stats have taken a nose dive.

Anyway, as I mentioned in the last post, I’m moving to the best spot for day game in my city, so I’m extremely excited to start that experiment in a couple weeks and add my data to the mix.

Date to nowhere… heavy ASD and shit testing.

I also had a date last Friday with the girl I number closed at the beach a few weeks ago.

Here’s the rundown: I chose a venue with good wine and desserts as she couldn’t meet until 9. Not an ideal place to pull from, but hoped I could read her as the date went on and see how and if things could proceed: either try to pull (my preference), or go for the two date model.

Things were good off the bat. I was leading, explaining about how to taste the wine, very dominant, laughing, flirting with the waitress… all very good.

I kissed her early and she immediately complied–is clearly into the sexual vibe we have going.

Anyway, we order dessert, and I go into the Cube routine and this is where trouble starts to rear her ugly head. To begin, she’s a super linear girl–math major–so she has trouble with the whole process of visualization and being creative. In short, she doesn’t really buy into it, so I abandon halfway… but then she’s linear right? So now she wants to finish.

At this point, she starts becoming a bit difficult and shit testy–A & A doesn’t seem quite right so I just start ignoring her concerns and changing the subject. It works and she becomes compliant again and we start kissing.

Bounce her to venue two for another drink. Things are good here and we keep kissing occasionally, vibing, and flirting. But toward the end she again gets shit testy: “are you a player? You seem very good at this–how many girls are you seeing? How old are you?”

I handle each shit test in turn, but eventually she pins me down on the age thing–I mean, don’t you at some point have to say? Seriously, I’m interested if guys actually divulge their age or not? I use the line, “I’m 96 but I’ve had a lot of really good work done.” But if she persists in asking I tell her. Maybe one of the place where I’m fucking up, but the long and short of it is that she’s 23 (HB 8) and I’m 38, and that makes her nervous–even though she’s super compliant sexually. When I kiss her, she leans in and loves it.

We leave the place and I say, “what’s next? Should we–” but she interjects here that she’s very tired and wants to go home. I offer to drive, she says she wants to walk–so I walk with her.

Here the shit tests go next level. She’s super concerned about where our relationship is going to go, projecting into the future, and all I can do is simply ignore, downplay, and change the subject (change her mood not her mind).

However, I think I did this too late. My old blue pill self was initially trying to treat her concerns as genuine, when I know better than that. She’s hamstering–the best way to handle that isn’t to stop the wheel or tell the hamster she shouldn’t spin it. No, the best way is to distract the hamster.

I did, but as I said, probably too late. In any case, by the time we get back to her house things seem chill and we have a nice makeout and I leave. Probably should have made an excuse to come inside, but she seemed pretty dead set against escalation and I didn’t want to fuck up my chances at a second date.

Unfortunately, it may not matter. I text her a full day after the date (Friday, meaning I texted Sunday), and she didn’t respond for quite awhile. She did eventually and I replied after waiting til Monday, and still have yet to hear back. Oh well, I guess that’s the way things go.

Night game success? Sort of… remember FTC.

So as I mentioned, Saturday was a bust for day game as I was busy viewing new apartments during the morning, then needed to get my lifting in.

But I met a friend downtown for some night/bar game. He’s a great guy and a long time friend, but doesn’t want to do day game (sounds too scary, which I understand) and also doesn’t want to stay out too late, so we often end up going out to game at the worst possible times: between 8-11.

I get that girls are out and available at this time, but here’s why it’s not a good time for game:

  • Modern night game is one of the few times when guys do regularly approach women–doesn’t mean they actually have any game, but it happens enough that approaching in and of itself carries no advantage. Chicks are impressed when you approach them in a cafe, but in a bar it’s somewhat expected.
  • In fact, when girls first get to the bar, I think they tend to be the most arrogant/prickly. They’re actually looking to impress each other, and they get more social status from friends for rejecting a guy or being bitchy than they do in accepting his advances–one of the ways our society is very, very fucked up.
  • At first, everyone is sober, meaning guys aren’t eliminating themselves by being douchey at this point in the evening, and the girls are more interested in catching up with their friends than meeting guys and getting male attention.

However, later–say 11 and after–all of these dynamics flip into reverse and into the player’s favor:

  • By now, yes some of the girls have been hit on–but some haven’t. Most guys, even fueled with booze, are still pussies who can’t approach. What this means is that after a certain time, there’s an attention lapse where there’s not enough HQ male attention for the number of girls who are out.
  • The girls have had some drinks to this point, and generally speaking, alcohol makes women hornier. When people drink they also become more true to their biological nature, which means women become more feminine and compliant.
  • The later the night goes, the more the competition fades away as guys start focusing more on drinking than chicks, and a lot of them will just end up being too drunk to get a girl’s number let alone take her home.

Anyway, not a great time to go out, but my buddy is interested in game and cold approach and I’m trying to help him out, so out we went to see if we could meet some women.

I did a shitty job keeping my stats as I was with my friend and we were drinking–neither of us got drunk, which is important, but things get fuzzier after a few beers.

However, I did get two numbers, and we chatted up 4-5 sets. I forget how awesome it is to have a wing as I mostly go out solo these days–all my other friends are married, and among those, only one is red pilled.

A few keys to night game:

  • Use False Time Constraints (FTCs): as in, “hey I can only stay a minute, but I wanted to say…” This is classic advice from Mystery Method and Strauss’s The Game. Super important, as the girl(s) are going to wonder how long you’re staying. I actually think this is something day gamers should do when approaching a fixed target, like a girl sitting at a cafe or waiting for the bus.
  • Indirect/Direct: the LDM says go direct (“Hi, just wanted to say you look quite lovely, like a….”), but in night game indirect is a better open, because the interest is implied: like, you’re both at a bar on a Saturday night, dressed up–WTF else are you doing but trying to meet people you find attractive?
  • Opinion openers: this is how you steer the conversation in an artistic, sexual way. “What do you ladies think about Tinder?” “My friend is having trouble with his wife, she says X, he says Y, what do you think?” Again, classic Mystery Method stuff, but it works.
  • Demonstrate Higher Value (DHV): again, from MM, but another aspect day gamers should probably be applying more. Because why should this girl give a fuck about you? How are you different? Women might not know they’re hypergamous, but they are, which means she’s looking for the best, not just another dude. Mystery did this with magic tricks and routines, but you can also do this by dropping comments about cool things you do in life, fun experiences you’ve had, etc. Qualifying the girl is another way to DHV, because most guys do not qualify her, which means you’re different and more picky. Just keep in mind you want to DHV through storytelling and interacting with her. The trap is that if you do this poorly, it will come off as try-hard and bragging.
  • Always close, but with caveats: in bar/night game, you don’t need to close right away, especially if you think the girls is going to hang around. It’s fine to open, chat a bit, roll off, then re-open later or bring in a mixed set where you introduce one group of people to another. But get the number. So many guys do just fine flirting with girls at the bar and then leave it at that. It’s stupid. You’re likely never going to see her again, so why not ask?

Admittedly, I’m not an expert at night game (especially the DHV part), but it’s something I plan to do more of going forward. With night game you’ll get a lot fewer opens, but it’s much easier to get the girl invested in you and numbers tend to be more solid, plus it’s possible to pull in certain cases. Most of my lays in the last year have come from night/bar game.

If you’re interested in night game and haven’t read them yet, I cannot recommend The Game and Mystery Method highly enough. Both books are geared toward night game and there’s a lot more nuance and discussion therein than what I provided above.

I should mention that the second number I got, and the last before we decided to call it a night, was from a stunner HB 9 that I never would have approached if my friend hadn’t just said: go talk to that girl.

I did, it was a great set, and I got the number. Now of course, she’s not responding.

But that’s game for you… these be some flaky ass bitches we’ve been gifted in this generation. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

An alpha widow returns: meet Cam Girl.

So strangely enough, Cam Girl came back as I noted recently. She had blocked my number and didn’t respond for like 6 months, but then for some reason decided to reach out via FB messenger.

Went out to visit her earlier this week. Now she’s working in a coffee shop instead of stripping in front of a camera for money, which is probably a good thing for her in terms of mental health. It’s got to be kind of fucked up masturbating in front of other people who are masturbating to you.

Anyway, kind of thought the lay would be in the bag, but she proved a tricky one–was still pissed that I didn’t want to commit to her back in February or March when we ended things and the fact I was fucking Yoga Girl during the same time I was fucking her. I didn’t rub her face in it or talk about it, but she found out and obviously didn’t like that.

I sorta feel bad for her, because she’s a hot little piece and a nice enough girl who genuinely wants to have a family and be loved, but she’s also a perfect example of why, without extreme vetting, guys today shouldn’t get married.

Because she’s also a woman, which means she’s crazy and volatile enough emotionally that at the drop of a hat, she could get pissed and decide to take as much money and property and custody as she could get from a dude. Hell, if he got beta at all, she would for sure do that to him.

Anyway, after a few drinks and some dinner we did end up banging and it was nice as I haven’t gotten a proper lay for awhile; fucking a girl in the bathroom was awesome (BTW, she disappeared… buyer’s remorse I guess?) but there’s something to be said for taking your time and doing it on a bed. Call me lame, but sometimes traditional vanilla sex is kind of nice.

I think there are few lessons here:

  1. If you fuck a girl good and are an alpha in her eyes, there’s a very good chance she comes back around at some point if and when things fizzle. Kitty and Yoga Girl also recently tried to come back, but I haven’t responded to either because I’m over it. However, it’s always good to have options and get laid with very little commitment and effort.
  2. If you DON’T fuck a girl, there’s very little chance she comes back around if and when things fizzle. I’ve had at least half a dozen dates with some very hot young girls in the last year that I didn’t sleep with, and none of them have come back around to date me again. My guess is that isn’t the case if we’d banged.
  3. Cam girl constantly gives me shit about fucking other girls and “getting my dick wet” as if it’s a bad thing, but that hasn’t stopped her from fucking me, EVER. Goes to show that having other women and/or being perceived as a player is not a bad thing–it turns women on, they just don’t want to admit that for obvious reasons.
  4. Don’t commit to girls like this and DO NOT GET MARRIED.

Seriously.

In the modern age, nothing prevents a girl from divorcing you on a capricious whim and taking half your possessions and most of the time you might have with your kids. In the past, smaller communities and church membership discouraged this, but with today’s cities and suburbs and our general lack of religious/moral values as a society, there is literally NOTHING preventing a girl from divorcing a guy for no good reason at all.

I actually have few larger thoughts on where the Sexual Marketplace is heading, but that seems like a different post.

Keep gaming out there fellas.

3 thoughts

  1. I find that ladies, as consummate shoppers, are very good at assessing a guy’s value. If there’s an age difference, then a guy needs to have value in exchange for that. Usually if a lady much younger is seriously interested in me, it’s because she’s a single mom and most high-value guys her age won’t take her seriously. So, she then has a choice between an older high-value guy or a mediocre guy her age. In return for dating an older guy, a younger single mom will want help with her kid(s).

    Thus, I actually prefer ladies closer to my age who can match what I have to offer. I also connect a lot better with single moms who have older kids like I do. There seems to be a manosphere obsession with youth that acknowledges our primal mating urge, but ignores the pair-bonding connection that you get from a relationship with a lady who is in the same life-stage (e.g. empty nest stage). There’s also the implicit dread that a woman feels when she knows that she can be replaced by a younger lady, causing her to treat a guy better.

    Anyway, to each their own. I enjoy reading your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The age issue is a good question. I’m 48 and I am probably dating in the 21-32 range. It often comes up. I’m not sure how to deal with it, but I like your A&A answer. The trouble is that if I avoid it and they press, then it feels kind of beta not to just say it and move on. Usually I get “Wow, you don’t look more than mid-30s” which is fine. Sometimes you get “wow you’re nearly as old as my Dad” which is harder lol. I don’t have kids, so I’m starting to shy away from single-moms. My last GF had a 8yo kid, and it complicated things. It feels like there should be enough girls still in the 25-33 range w no kids who I can approach, though as you say a lot of the single-moms are still hot and easier to game. I live in a place (not USA) where girls frequently have kids young and not married.

    Like

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