Field Report: torched on Twitter for teasing, and another *sigh* first date lay

I’ll be honest: not a great summer for me in terms of game. 

Far fewer day game sessions than I had hoped for, the best chick in my rotation ghosted me and I dropped the other on purpose, and though I had two crazy experiences fucking a girl in a bathroom and my first day game same day lay, I haven’t really had a whole lot of women in my life.

I suppose this is one of the things guys entering into this lifestyle should know: it can be lonely AF. Challenging? Yes. Rewarding? Yes. Fun? Absolutely. I don’t think I have to tell any of you that gaming and smashing hot, young women is fucking awesome.

But there will be stretches when all your leads flake, where girls like Socks up and ghost you (goddamn she was a hot little piece), and the kicker: no one–and I mean fucking no one, not even your best buddies–can understand what it is that you’re doing.

Like, if I told my male friends how many girls I’ve smashed in the past 12 months (22 if my math is correct), and their average age (26ish; low was 20; high was 41), they would tell me I’m a disgusting person. They’d be jealous too, but almost no one in our culture is honest about sexuality, and our Puritan foundations are always influencing the stories we tell about ourselves in public.

Anyway, I bring it up because loneliness for the player can be a struggle–and while RP is the light at the end of the tunnel for guys, it doesn’t mean everything is roses and ice cream along the way.

That said, I’ve had some good sessions recently, so let’s go to the stats of a session that actually got me laid:

  • Opens: 14
  • Direct: 8
  • Indirect (tease/observation): 6
  • Blowouts: 4
  • Stack: 6
  • Vibe: 5
  • Invest/Hook: 4
  • BF: 2
  • Numbers: 3
  • Insta (I fucking know): 2
  • Snap: 1
  • Weasels: 2

As I mentioned on Twitter, I’ve been experimenting with opening with a tease or accusation instead of direct–and I’ll be honest, I got torched by a few guys for advocating that approach. Let me be clear: I don’t think those guys are wrong, nor would I advocate going indirect in general. “Don’t hide you dick” as Tom Torero says…

And you shouldn’t.

However, what I started to notice is that after changing my voice tonality and eye contact, when I talk to girls, there’s an almost automatic sexuality that happens–hence, less of a reason to go direct. I should point out that if you look at the stats, I still go direct more than indirect, and again, the LDM isn’t wrong. It works and guys should generally stick to the structure.

On the other hand, one thing that’s lost when you read advice from guys in game is to take into account your personality, strengths, and weaknesses in game. That goes for everything:

  • Fashion–you should have an archtype that’s congruent with your style.
  • Day game vs. night game vs. online vs. sex clubs (advanced–read RedQuest’s book and blog for more on that–I’m certainly not quite there yet)
  • Who you approach
  • How you approach

Not all of us need to don a fucking leather jacket and go around parroting Torero’s canned openers. To me that feels inauthentic–because it is–and it violates one of the smartest things I’ve heard any game coach say:

“Good game doesn’t look like game.” — Todd V

This is the reason I started thinking about opening indirect/direct with a tease in some instances. Because it was simply more congruent than going direct.

For example, one of my favorite places to game is in a book store–does it make sense to tell a girl looking at a novel that you had to stop her because you “thought she looked really nice?”

No. It sounds canned and stupid. And gamy.

A) You didn’t need to stop her. She wasn’t going anywhere.

B) The opener is already there–what fucking book is she looking at?

C) If you’re in a book store actually looking for books and not just there hitting on girls, shouldn’t you be interested in the book she’s checking out? Maybe have one in your hand that you’re considering? Yes to both.

So, instead of the direct open, I might say something like:

“Life of Pi–an adventurous girl then, or are you thinking of starting a zoo?”

See, there I broke another rule by asking a question, but that doesn’t really matter. Either she answers the question and you stack from there OR she doesn’t and you stack nevertheless–plus, the tone and content are perfect. Teasing. Playful. DHV.

Let’s assume she doesn’t answer.

“It’s a great book actually. I had a hard time putting it down. Another one of my favorites along those lines is Into Thin Air by Krakauer.”

And again, either she enters the conversation–asks about the book or answers the first question–OR she doesn’t and you continue stacking.

“It’s about climbing Everest. Pretty crazy. Crossing crevasses, scaling walls, sleeping in tents in sub zero temperatures, using oxygen masks–if I had the money I might try it, though maybe something closer to home first. But I can’t imagine a girl like you up there, haha (smirk)?”

Here, she should hook on the accusation–that or she’s going to leave or indicate that you should.

Her: “oh yeah, why is that?”

“You just seem very delicate. I can’t imagine such a lovely girl up there struggling in the ice and snow among rangy sherpas and bearded guides who swear like sailors. But then I guess I don’t know you–are you the adventurous type?”

If she doesn’t hook here, it’s over. But a lot of girls will–you’ve given her plenty to go on, challenged her sense of adventure (twice), and forced her to qualify. Note that in this hypothetical dialogue, I used the accusation to pivot and go direct.

Now obviously this doesn’t work if you’re in NYC and girls are walking super fast down the sidewalk, nor would such an approach work or be congruent in a lot of other situations. But in a book store it’s very natural.

I did this with a girl sitting on some concrete steps in a park in this last session: “Those sunglasses are absolutely hideous,” I said with a smirk and strong eye contact. “But I bet you have a great personality.” (To be fair, the sunglasses were pretty outrageous.)

“Are you always this rude to strangers?” she said, smiling.

“Yes (pause), but I was thinking I have to stop this girl from wearing these glasses, bc otherwise, she’s kinda cute. So technically, I just did you a favor.” I was prepared to continue stacking from there, but she hooked on that, asked my name, and I went from there.

Obviously, I need to do more research and approaches with this technique, but at the very least it worked on this girl. She was super on with texting and we went for drinks the next night…

Another First Date Lay

Of course, happy to get the notch, but it was ironic in that I’d spent all week talking and thinking about the two-date model for better retention (Nash and Magnum both have good blogs on this topic–I also owe Black Dragon an apology because I think he’s generally right), as this tends to be an issue for me when I go for the fast pull.

That said, as I wrote a few months ago, if a girl expects you to fuck her, you’d better do it, and I think this was the case with Sunglasses.

We went for drinks are a bar near my new apartment, then bounced to a karaoke bar, and then home.

As for the escalation:

  • Initiated kino right off the bat by hugging her when we met, then continued after we got our drinks and sat down next to each other on a bench.
  • Kinda corny, but on the way to the karaoke bar, after holding her hand for a bit, I pulled her off to the side and used the old Mystery Line: “do you want to kiss me?” Great line because you win regardless. If she says yes, you kiss her. If she says IDK or maybe, you say, “let’s find out,” and then kiss her. If she says “no” you say, “I didn’t say you could–you just looked like you had something on your mind.” The first two are obvious wins–the last is as well, because if a girl says no to this question, you need to push her away with a neg to hook her.
  • Anyway, we kissed some more at the karaoke bar and I continued making things very handsy, which she returned.
  • Things were super on, so after we both sang, I was like, “let’s go back to my apartment and watch a movie–I’ve got a joint if you’re feeling adventurous.”
  • Once we got back, I turned on some chill EDM music and then after the joint we just started making out, clothes came off, etc.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at. Feels fucking good to write a field report. More to come this week!

3 thoughts

  1. Only 2 BF’s out of 14 approaches? Holy shit, I’m in the wrong city. Without checking at my stats, I think 4/5 of the girls I’ve approached lately have boyfriends, either that or “I have a BF” is the standard Minnesotan rejection.

    My big issue by far is approach anxiety, and weasel out of at least have my opportunities. I don’t know if I simply need to go out more than once a week, or if it’s mainly an inner game issue. Do you have any thoughts about that?

    While searching your site about AA I saw a couple posts about U-game, which is my ideal since I can’t block off an hour each day for daygaming, nor go out every night for nightgame. I have to catch the girls at whatever else I’m doing in a given time (gym, grocery store, etc). Anyway, I like the concept.

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    1. A few thoughts on the BF thing:
      1) It’s one way for chicks to get out of the interaction w/o giving their number politely, so that could be part of it–don’t mean any offense by that either, cause I get it a lot too. But if it really is 4/5ths of the time, you’re either approaching the wrong demographic or the girls aren’t hooking and using it as an excuse to get rid of you. I’m still a baby at this, but I have noticed that the more day game I do, the less I get that response.
      2) But I still get it, because A LOT of pretty girls have boyfriends (that session is a bit of an anomaly–most times there would be more BFs/married girls).
      On the weaseling, that’s tough cause I still do it all the time. It is AA, and I haven’t written a lot about that, but it’s a real thing–probably the day gamer’s biggest challenge. It’s both inner game and frequency. The more you get used to doing this, the easier it gets AND the more confident you are in your shit, the less AA matters.
      I like the U-game concept too–I just need to be better about implementing. One offs are hard, but they are much more practical than full on day game.

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      1. Thanks RP, I think you’re spot on. Much less than half the girls hook, even when they’re smiling and get the starry eyes when I approach. I really ought to start tracking that statistic aside from just the approaches I do.

        Total blowouts are uncommon for me at least. I’m only approaching the 8’s and 9’s so it makes sense that most would have boyfriends.

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