Interesting day game session yesterday. I don’t have time for a super long field report and I live tweeted my approaches, so if you’re curious on the individual girls, you can check those out.
Anyway, instead of simply recounting what happens, I want to focus on lessons I’m learning as I do this that other guys can use.
Get Warm/Stay Warm.
So as I noted yesterday, volume can be a problem where I live—meaning that I can sometimes walk for as long as a half-hour or more without coming across a girl I want to approach. But then BAM! there she is, and you’ve got to open.
For anyone who’s played poker, a good analogy is that you can sit at a table and get 2-7 off suit or similarly shit hands a bunch of times in a row—fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, and then you get a good hand, say A-10, and you’ve got to play, but because you’ve been passive for so long, you’re not as assertive in betting as you should be.
This is why I advise guys doing day game to stay the fuck off your phone (and why I usually do), because by default, our smart phones make us anti-social, introverted, and take us out of being present in the moment.
To game and game well, you need to be social, outgoing, happy, and present. So look at the trees, observe the architecture in your city, say hi to strangers, compliment old ladies, etc.—do whatever you can to stay talking, active, alert, and warm. That way, when that hottie with a body comes down the street, you’re ready to open.
Warming up, I try to talk to the first person I see, even if it’s just to say hi. From there, I continue opening—not necessarily every single person, but I don’t really want more than a few minutes to go by without speaking, working my way up to opening any cute girls I happen to see. And just like you open girls with a compliment or observation, I open strangers with a compliment or observation, the only exception is I’m not making a man to woman statement aka opening direct.
Indeed, if you’re new to game and the idea of talking to hot chicks scares you, I recommend simply doing the above to start off. Just talk to everyone and have ordinary conversations. Give compliments. People love that.
When to freestyle, and how to recognize when you should (mostly don’t).
In one of the weirdest day game sets I’ve ever had, yesterday I opened a chick who was dressed all in white and had a ukulele painted in rainbow colors.
She was standing on the street corner with her friend, waiting to cross, and my open was simply, “is that a rainbow colored ukulele?”
She’s like: “yes.”
“Can you play?”
“Really? Play me a song.” (Forgot to add this to the tweet btw)
And then she fucking does! Just whips out a beautiful island tune as the three of us are walking down the street.
But after two blocks her friends turns and they have to go the other way. Probably should have gone with them and established more rapport and warmth, but in the moment the right thing seemed to be to just close–after all, she just spent 2 blocks QUALIFYING herself to me, and we know that the more we force girls to qualify, the more they buy into us as men.
TL;DR–I didn’t get the number. She said she thought she was too young (20), which is kinda the same shit test as asking how old I am, but in reverse. I passed, said, “I’m only 75–age is but a number,” but she didn’t go for it.
However, as any true player knows, it’s about the process, not the results. And I bring this example up because the process was good here, even though I didn’t get the number, and despite the fact that the set was completely off the radar in terms of following the LDM (London Daygame Model).
Now, could I have done the typical, “excuse me, you look lovely–you look like blah, blah, blah…” but chick is holding a fucking rainbow ukulele! That’s clearly the open. And yes, we need to pivot direct, but when I challenged her: “play a song for me,” and she does it, there’s no reason to stick to the model–she’s obviously hooked and is now qualifying herself by performing for me.
Additionally, even though I regret not walking with them a little more to build rapport, I think the answer I got from her would have been the same–too young–and that if she’d been inclined to give me the number, she would have given the set I ran.
I’ll concede this for the doubters: maybe I’m wrong–and as I mentioned, I wish I would have vibed more after she played the song. But the point here is not whether I’m wrong or right about that particular situation, the point is that there are times when abandoning the model and free styling is the right thing to do.
Why? Because in certain situations, the model feels scripted and gamey, and as Todd V says and I repeat: good game doesn’t look like game.
I always try to keep that in mind in the back of my head–that in every set, I want it to look like this is a random thing that “just happened.” Like, ideally, this is what a girl you gamed well should say to her friend as she’s getting ready for her date with you:
“So who is this guy again?”
“OMG, it was so crazy. We were both waiting to cross the street and he said he thought I looked cute–like a lost puppy dog–and then we just started talking and he was so confident and then he had to go but he asked for my number. We’ve been texting a bit–he’s really funny–and then he said we should get a drink!”
“OMG that’s so romantic!”
Right? Nowhere in that conversation does the pick up seem like pick up–it “just happened.” Guys should always keep that in mind, even with girls they’re already seeing: what story is she telling about you? What story does she tell herself about you, and what story does she tell her friends about you?
Because if that story is fishy, or doesn’t make sense, or becomes negative, you’re done and she’s gone. Again, one of the reasons so many numbers flake via day game is because she can’t make the story work in her own mind–it was too fast, too random, too gamey, whatever–and even if she’s intrigued, it doesn’t fit with what she knows or expects.
Anyway, mostly guys should stick to the model–especially beginners. The structure is there for a reason. (Book recommendations: TDDayGame’s DayGame: Pick Up Girls Everywhere, Krauser’s Day Game Infinite, or Tom Torero’s Street Hustle)
However, in certain situations it makes sense to freestyle, and as guys go to that next intermediate level where they know how to stack and vibe and close, allow the narrative of the pick-up to develop in a way where the girl says to herself, “OMG, that just happened–so random. So cool.”
Yeah, fuck, I don’t know, but yesterday I decided to try hug closing to see if that helps. Two out of the three of those numbers are responding, so it’s a strong maybe so far. But mainly just experimenting with ways to drive down the flaky number aspect of day game, as that seems the biggest place where I can improve.