Social circle low hanging fruit, but game still matters.

So I tweeted about Booty Girl last week (I think–sometimes this shit all runs together), and then I mentioned her in the last post, but I don’t think I’ve explained what the hell is going on with all that or the pick up that led to sex.

The week after Labor Day, my friend had a BBQ and I was invited. Well sort of. I was supposed to help him draft his fantasy football team (kinda good at it as I’ve been playing for years; judge me if you want, but we all need distractions so long as they don’t become addictive), and he was having people from his work over for the BBQ at the same time.

It was social circle game, but the point of this post is that without game and pick-up, it might not have worked, because she might not have hooked–and date game is date game is date game. Doesn’t matter if you meet the girl on Tinder, social circle, or whatever.

So here’s how it goes: I show up at the party about an hour later than everyone else but still in time for the draft. Talk to my friend, go inside, and prepare my shit (I’m nothing if not a professional goddamnit).

Social Circle Rule #1: Be subtle and tone down the game.

However, I spy a cutie having drinks with people outside, so about 10 minutes pre-draft I open indirect (this is the better move for night game or social circle–the interest is implied), “hey, so how do you know my friend Steve?”

She starts explaining, and I go straight into vibing–with social circle there’s not much need to DHV (demonstrate high value) because you already have value: you’re there, right? In the same social circle she is. However, it’s important to make the conversation man to woman, so I initiate kino by pushing her away after a tease (“I bet you’re the type of girl who’s on the phone all day, haha), and I’m staring at her with the “I’d fuck you into oblivion” eyes, doing the triangle gaze, where you stare into one eye, then look at her lips, then stare at the other eye.

Anyway, after about five minutes of talking/flirting with her, I’m like, “well Booty Girl (solid 7–cute face, medium height, brunette, but has a phenomenal little bubble butt and very nice legs, hence her alias as BG), you’re super cute and fun but I have to go draft Jim’s fantasy football team. Want to keep me company?”

And holy shit guys, in a shocking development… she does!

Social Circle Game Rule #2: Give Her Plausibility.

She needs a reason to be there… but it doesn’t need to be elaborate or contrived. It just needs to be plausible: something she can easily tell anyone at the party as to why she’s with you.

Once you’ve established this, you have some time, potentially all night, to game the girl. Here’s the caveat: for the same reason day game (and night game) implies player status, social circle game implies boyfriend/provider status–which if you’re a player, is not the vibe you want to throw off. No. You want the girl to see you for the lover, which means escalating and amplifying.

“Come sit with me.”

I motion to her as I sit down at the computer. I know some guys probably think drafting a fantasy football team with a girl would utterly kill your game, but it’s actually an incredible platform for qualification. As in: you’re here, this is normal (it may sound crazy to Euro guys or Aussies or dudes from other places, but Fantasy Football is so ubiquitous and mainstream in the US that chicks don’t see it as nerdy–it’s almost something they expect guys to do, like playing poker), and by sticking around, she’s saying she’s cool with it. That IS the very definition of a girl qualifying herself to you.

The key is frame:

  • The activity–whatever it is–takes precedent over the girl.
  • That said, you’re still engaging the girl, flirting, challenging and building rapport.
  • The attitude is light and unserious. You are fun, playful, and confident.

In sum, don’t be a douche who ignores her, but use the distraction of the situation to fractionate the conversation and create mini feedback loops.

Anyway, once she accepted my frame of drafting fantasy football, she was totally into it. Girls who like you want to be your companion, in whatever you’re doing. And Booty Girl was up to the task. She helped me draft my team, at least, kind of…

Because as the draft went on, I continued escalating. We played the questions game; I challenged her saying she didn’t seem adventurous; I put my hand on her leg; and finally, between picks, I pulled her in and we started kissing.

From this point on we keep making out between picks, and then when the draft finished we go into the bathroom and make out a bit more… 

Which was a mistake actually.

Luckily it didn’t end up costing me, but the risk was her overheating in the moment, then remembering she’s around her coworkers, and then the ASD kicking in: “holy shit, what am I doing, I just met this guy, etc.”

A sentence I never thought I’d write in my life–certainly something my blue-pill self couldn’t possibly even fathom–but it’s true: 

Sometimes, just because you can fuck a girl in a bathroom doesn’t mean you should.

Which brings us to…

Social Circle Game Rule #3: Respect the circle and the circumstances.

A friend of mine (red pill married guy–will call him DQ–short for Don Quixote) made a few good points recently when I was complaining about a particular social circle where, because of frankly bad and uncalibrated game on my part (it was early in my training; I was fairly raw and didn’t understand the social situation), I burned my chances with some fairly hot chicks (although, these girls are SUPER fucking basic, which makes picking them up difficult because the only frame basic bitches know for relationships is having a long term blue pill BF provider).

Essentially what DQ said was: when you meet a chick, the context dictates how fast and direct you can go as a player. For example, this group is a bunch of people from another friend’s work, so his point was that if I gamed a girl in that context–even suppose I run amazing game and bang her in the bathroom–she’s forever going to associate her friends and her work with getting fucked by me in the bathroom, and she’ll never live that shame down. Massive ASD/buyer’s remorse.

So great result for me, very bad result for the girl. In a different context–like the time I actually did that, but had no standing ties as we’d only met that night–it might be a great result for her as well: she got to do something fun and crazy and adventurous that she’ll likely never do again. AND she doesn’t have to feel bad about it, because if she wants to she can just drop me and never see me again and pretend it didn’t happen (pretty sure girls just black a lot of shit out–also, exactly what she did in that case).

This doesn’t mean you can’t hook up with girls you meet through social circle, or that you have to play boyfriend/provider game–it just means that you have to be a little more calibrated and careful with how you do it.

Thankfully I realized this shortly after I took her in the bathroom, made an excuse and pulled her back out. 

The rest of the night I was playful and flirty, but other than a few quick kisses, we mingled with the group and hung out. The goal here was to ground the interaction and show that hey, I’m a normal dude, who’s cool and social and the only reason things got so hot and heavy is that we have a special connection (story/narrative IS game). And of course I got her number before I left. But basically the keys to rule 3 are:

  • Give her plausible deniability, which means that if people in the social circle ask: “are you hooking up with him?” she can say no.
  • At the same time, behave in a way where she could also say yes.
  • Most importantly, any serious sexual escalation should NOT take place at an event with said social circle–her social anxiety will be too high, and even if you were able to bang her, she’ll flake after.

Another first date lay…

I ended up getting her out a few days later. We met at a local brewery for beers and ended up ordering some appetizers too.

Pretty typical first date plan: flirt, challenge, and break rapport, while at the same time escalating physically. My goal is to keep the conversation focused on good feelings and sexual topics as much as possible–tasting each other’s drinks and talking about food is always good too, as food is inherently sexual (at least, if it’s good).

Finally, I always try to kiss the girl within the first hour as long as she seems on. For whatever reason, I seem to pull r-selected girls who just want to bang, which is why I end up pulling so often on the first date. Still trying to work on what I need to do when I get a K girl.

So to be honest, there’s not much to tell, other than the bounce. I recently moved to a better area downtown, and there’s a bar a block away with shuffleboard and board games, and a bar not too much further away where they do karaoke seven nights a week. Super easy to seed the bounce: let’s head back toward my apt and sing karaoke/play shuffleboard.

However, I did one better this time as we had some leftovers, so I’m like: I just need to drop this off in my apt first and then we’ll go to the bar–of course, once we get to my place, we start kissing, clothes come off, and we proceed pretty quickly to pound town.

Banged her again last night actually, which means I have two pretty solid girls in the rotation: Sunglasses and BG. I’ve never had three at the same time (or at least not solid), so we’ll see if I can pull that off here with some of the numbers I got this week via day game.

Also going to work on Sunglasses about going to a sex club as RedQuest talks about on his blog and in his book.

There has never been a better time to be a player.

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