Thoughts on IG/social media game; another 1st date lay.

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TL;DR–learn cold approach.

But since I recently had a girl kinda open the door to hooking up–a door I walked through and executed in banging her (story below), I may as well explain my theory on Insta game for guys, and it’s basically this:

  • Have posts–under 50–that DHV (demonstrate high value). These should be pics with hot girls (not kissing you or being overly aggressive/sexual), pics of you looking good and/or doing fun things (like traveling or at sporting events/concerts), or pics that are in some way, humorous, entertaining, or mysterious.
  • Only post or do stories that DHV.
  • Don’t post or do stories very often–1-4 per month, no more. In my personal opinion, the less the better.

That last part may seem confusing, but by its nature, Instagram is for girls (credit: Nash) and is a needy, narcissistic platform. When you post on IG, you’re essentially saying: like me, love me, adore me, give me attention.

Is that what you, a grown ass man, wants to be saying?


Most certainly not. When I see a guy posting to IG everyday–actually somewhat true of women as well–I think to myself: you’re a lonely ass bitch. If you’re currently doing that, understand, I’m not taking a shot at you, but I would also advise you to stop, because that is what other people likely think too.

In general, IG isn’t good for game, or if it is, only in the same way Tinder is: be very good looking and/or rich, and sure, you’ll get some girls that way. At the same time, I think it’s worth having an IG, because you can DHV, and as happened to me recently, you’ll occasionally get a lay out of it. I’d say the same of FB: I got two chicks last year that way, and a lay is a lay.

The other thing is that some girls will want to close via IG–I always push against that and try for a number, or even snap chat is better, but if that’s the only way she wants to connect, there’s no reason not to do it. Personally, I’ve never fucked a girl I cold approached off IG, but at the same time, guys have done it and it can happen. To go back to a classic movie, in Dumb and Dumber, when Lloyd says, “so you’re saying there’s a chance” after the chick says “one in a million,” if that was actually true, why not? Someone has to win the lottery, right? Anyway, my theory on IG closing is that it’s super rare you’re going to actually get a girl out via IG right away–or ever–but then, who knows? A chance is a chance is an open loop.

And as a player, you want as many open loops as possible. Remember, abundance is key, and the more options you have, the more you’ll exude that confidence. In other words, an IG close is better than no close at all, even if it’s just for your mental state. Push for the number always, but accept the IG close (I always say: follow me and I’ll follow you back).

The lay via IG.

OK, so in this case, the girl started following me and liking my old posts in rapid succession, so I DMed her and we started chatting–pretty quickly got to how she knew me and that we should get a drink to reconnect.

From there it was simply a classic first date lay: venue one, took her to a cool brewery, had some beer and nachos–bounce to venue two, where we played shuffleboard and had another drink–bounce to my apartment, where I played the new A Star is Born, the best movie ever for getting a girl to fuck in my experience (RedQuest says High Fidelity, and I can see why that would also be good), and took her to pound town.

Guys sometimes ask: how do you bounce her to your place?

Me: let’s go to my apartment to watch a movie. (I’d seeded A Star is Born earlier in the date as a good movie, so if she wavered, I could be like: you have to see it).

Her: Sounds good.

Now, I’d initiated Kino at the first venue, kissed her and then made out repeatedly while playing shuffleboard, so the bounce was pretty well sealed.

Anyway, I can’t take a whole lot of credit for the lay–to me there’s something about fucking a girl you’ve picked up via cold approach that can’t be matched–but at the same time, who am I to not fuck a girl who likes me and wants me to fuck her? It was a lovely time, she’s a lovely girl (25; HB 7), and everyone came away from the experience with multiple orgasms.

I guess I’ll point one more thing out here: I’m not a purist. If all you want to do is daygame, do that. If all you want to do is night game, do that. If all you want is online or social circle or whatever, do it.

For me, I’m an opportunist. If there’s a hot girl who wants to be fucked, I want to be the one to fuck her. Granted, in my experience, 95% of the girls I sleep with are through cold approach, and I don’t do Tinder or any of that other shit because it’s a waste of time in my market. I’ve been experimenting with a little salt game on Seeking Arrangement, because I want to see what’s out there, but I know my bread and butter will always be cold approach pick up (my favorite is day game–such a beautiful practice). If I get a tertiary lay through IG, FB, SA, or social circle, so much the better, but I also know that my ability to close in those situations is greatly enhanced by my ability to cold approach.

So at the end of the day, here’s my advice:

Have a cool IG (and other social media accounts), but don’t be on there too much and make sure that what you do post is DHV…

But focus on learning cold approach. The best way to sharpen your sword in talking to girls is day game, but I think anyone who’s not doing some night game is leaving lays on the table.

However, I’m always willing to learn: if you’re killing it in other ways that cold approach, comment below and we can benefit from your knowledge.


    1. I haven’t done anything yet, but I will. I had a ton of leads I needed to follow up on… fucking most of them flaked. Oh well. I’m going to focus on pick-up through Halloween, and then I’ll check out the salt game.


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