I’ve tweeted to this effect several times, but in the modern age, most women are only bringing sex to the table when it comes to a relationship.
Because this generation of women has been raised to think that giving pleasure to men is stupid, and that they’re queens and princesses who should be worshipped and fawned over for the simple fact that they have a vagina between their legs. That is not misogyny: many women will straight up tell you this if you ask them, and it’s also true if we observe how most women behave–what they do, how they act, what they say, etc.
I appreciate the post Pat Stedman put up on whether or not guys should date younger women–whether you disagree with his other interests or not, he’s a lot closer to the truth than most dating coaches who sugar coat their advice with a bunch of bullshit. However, in my estimation he makes two mistaken assumptions:
- That older women are somehow more mature in a way that will benefit the man.
- That men need a woman to grow as a person.
In the last year plus, I’ve dated more than 40 women from age 20 to 40ish, and the simplest observation I can make is this: in general, young women have more energy, are more fun, and require less bullshit than older women. Indeed, they’re less picky that older women and have fewer demands.
It’s not even close.
And while younger women are slightly more flighty and flaky than older chicks, it’s not by much–apparently the shitty anti-social behavior that’s caught on thanks to smart phones and social media have affected women across all age groups, whether they grew up with the technology or not.
But here’s the crux: as a man, what I want–if I’m to have a monogamous relationship with a woman–is a woman who is feminine: who shows me genuine love, care, affection, and wants to take care of me from some level of honest devotion/attraction.
Guys who are red pill understand this isn’t a one way street. We need to be solid, strong, and masculine in every possible way: financially, emotionally, physically, and in the bedroom.
If older women understood this and were more feminine and/or better equipped to meet a man’s needs than younger women, that would be one thing–but shock, horror (we miss you Tom): they don’t!
Indeed, my experience is that older women are less likely than younger women to have these traits–even women who have children and should know better. Unlike a lot of guys in the manosphere, I don’t unilaterally disqualify every single mom, but holy shit, if you are a single mom, don’t expect a guy to stick around for a monogamous relationship if you’re not prepared to give him time, love, and affection.
This sounds bad, but fuck it, here’s the bottom line: if you have to pay the same price for admission, don’t you want the better deal? If the cost is identical, do you want fucking stew meat or the ribeye? It’s something that’s often bandied about on the reddit sub, but it bears repeating here: for some reason, most women think they’re entitled to the same level of guy–or higher–regardless of age, i.e. the 34-year-old soccer mom who has one day a week off if she’s lucky thinks she’s entitled to the 37-year-old Chads she was banging back when she was 23.
Even worse, in my experience, older women withhold sex more often and aren’t interested as much. So this is all you’re bringing to the table—and there’s less? For fuck’s sake, why would any guy agree to that arrangement?
News flash: Younger women are hotter.
The elephant in the room I haven’t mentioned is this: younger women are MUCH more attractive on average than older chicks. Like, if we filter out chicks who are just plain fat and/or unfortunate looking, the range of SMV for chicks based on age goes something like this:
- 18-24: most are at least a 6+ or 7, with plenty of 8’s and 9’s to go around. I should add that a 23-year-old 7 glows in a way that’s gone as the years fade–in other words, young 7 > old 7.
- 25-30: most are around a 6–still lots of 7s and 8s, but a lot fewer 9s.
- 31-35: most are around a 5–quite a few 6s and 7s, but 8s are getting scarce and whatever 9s exist are either taken or super damaged people.
- 36-40: most are 5 or below, either because they’re starting to look plain old or can’t keep the weight off. The 6s and 7s in this range are making a significant effort to stay fit with diet and exercise, and what I said about 9s in the prior category now applies to 8s.
- 40+: most aren’t visible to men in a sexual way. There are exceptions, but they’re pretty rare, and they’ve usually had some work done along with maintaining a strict regimen of diet and fitness.
So obviously, all things being equal, the younger woman has a huge advantage, and deep down everyone knows that.
However, being a feminine woman who is actually a good partner is so rare that this is where women, regardless of age, could easily separate themselves from the rest. I’d rather date a feminine woman in her 30’s who gives me all those things I described above than a woman in her 20’s who’s only bringing sex to the table, assuming a similar level of attraction.
It’s actually kind of funny, because even though I am for the time being, non-monogamous, I wouldn’t have married any of the girls I’ve dated since getting divorced. Not a goddamn one. A lot of pretty girls and a lot of good sex have been had–and to be fair, some of them have been very sweet, well meaning people…
But none have had the full package. So even if I wanted to have an LTR or get married again, as society and most of my family and friends seem to want, I’d still be as single as I am today.
The mix of narratives our society creates for women is toxic.
This is where I want to go a little bit more meta: in my experience, echoed by some of the other players I’ve been in contact with through Twitter, text, and phone conversations, most women today aren’t suitable long-term mates.
To be fair, it’s partially not their fault–they’ve been raised in a shitty environment that saddles them with three competing fantasies:
- The Disney princess who will grow up to meet the perfect husband, have 2.5 kids and a two story house with a white picket fence.
- The ball busting CEO type who don’t need no menz and are more concerned with career and wealth than a family and children.
- The hot sex-pot IG “model” who takes pictures of her ass and posts them for all to see and hooks up with Chads every weekend.
Those three visions are almost totally irreconcilable, but that doesn’t stop chicks from trying. Problem is, if she does #3 for more than a few years, she can’t do #1 because she won’t pair bond with her husband, and she’s also probably not going to be able to do #2 because you have to be able to do more than scroll through your phone and text on snap chat to do prestigious, difficult jobs. If she does #2, there’s a good chance she doesn’t get married because she waits until she’s post wall to start looking seriously and is too picky based on what she’s bringing to the table, but if she does happen to get married, she’ll grow to resent her husband, either because he’ll take on more of the domestic duties as someone still has to take care of the kids and household, or because he won’t and she has to try to do both.
Given these scenarios, is it really any wonder why there are so many failed marriages and single moms out there?
As we know, the best path for most women in terms of happiness is #1, but the tendency in a society as misandrous as ours is to choose #2 or #3–vanity in terms of beauty or vanity in the form of power.
Understand, this isn’t a judgment good or bad. Everyone has to decide how to best live their lives and use the time they have–I’m sure plenty of people think I’m a bad, no good, rotten, womanizing piece of shit. But it’s how I’ve chosen to live my life and I have my reasons.
Chicks have to do the same thing, and if being an IG thot or climbing the corporate ladder is what brings them the most happiness, then that’s what they should do. But what I see are a lot of mistakes being made–choices that women make emotionally and/or because it conforms to society’s expectations that lead to unhappiness and irrelevance.
Happiness and the harsh reality of life.
Unfortunately, the harsh reality for women, as I’ve stated in several posts, is that once they’re no longer attractive sexually, no one really much cares about them outside the context of their family–not deeply anyway. No, the truth is that the 50-year-old woman living a traditional life in West Virginia who’s been a mother and homemaker from the time she married her husband after high school receives more genuine love and attention from her husband, children, and community than the millionaire CEO who’s single and childless ever will. To be fair, that’s true to some extent for men too: without a family, without connection, we all become somewhat irrelevant. The only difference is that a rich man in his 50’s is still very relevant to women sexually, whereas most women at that stage are invisible to men.
Feels like I’m rambling a bit here, but whatever: for me, part of the reason I’ve chosen this lifestyle is that it doesn’t seem like there’s a good alternative. I would love to meet a beautiful young woman who was feminine and could convince me to girlfriend or even wife up–but as I said earlier, that hasn’t been an option so far. The other problem of course is that marriage is a horrible contract for a man to sign.
I’d argue that the main reason the red pill exists as a movement is that the basic contract between men and women has broken down as a consequence of modernity. Men have become more feminine; women more masculine. And the traditional boundaries between genders has blurred. Men turn to the red pill when they come to realize this–often after a divorce, failed relationship, or failure to have any sort of sexual relationship with women.
Will there come a time when there’s a red pill for women? I don’t know–it seems to me that while women can make rational decisions about other things in life, how they think about men and sex is highly irrational and emotionally driven, all of which seems to suggest no.
On the other hand, we’re in the process of seeing what happens when a large percentage of women in a generation make bad decisions about how to live, at least, with regard to being happy, fulfilled, relevant members of society. Some are even starting to talk about this, admitting that they would be happier married with children than they are having chosen the corporate ladder or thottery.
As I’ve bemoaned recently, I’ve had a bad stretch of flakes, and it’s easy during such a time to become frustrated with women and think of them as broken, immoral, irrational people–and to some extent, they are.
But when I really get down to the heart and soul of it, I mostly feel sorry for chicks. Imagine living life with no real clear purpose or reason other than to fit into society’s expectations, all the while secretly wishing for a strong man to take control and rescue you, but at the same time, being so flaky and squirrely that you squander relationships and reject those men for the mere fact of being capricious.
On the flipside, it also why there’s never been a better time to be a player.