In defense of men in game, pickup, and seduction.

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An article titled “Have you been day gamed” (I’m not going to link to it–enough airtime as it is and besides you aren’t a dummy, you can guess what it says: men bad) has been making the rounds recently and yours truly was one of the players with a tweet embedded in the article about how I’d gotten a number from a chick in a coffee shop.

Take a step back for a second: a guy asks for a girl’s number in a coffee shop and she gives it to him.

Like…what’s so wrong with that?

Have we really reached a point in society where a handsome guy can’t strike up a conversation with a woman he finds attractive in a coffee shop and ask for her phone number–so they can go on a date–without sounding the alarm bells?

I mean, seriously, how is this a nefarious act—I don’t understand?

To wit, if you asked 100 women how they’d like to meet their next lover and gave them the following scenarios:

a) you match with him on Tinder;

b) he slides into your DMs on Instagram (why it’s always “slides”, I don’t know);

c) you meet through a mutual friends; or

d) you meet in a coffee shop

—I’d bet that at least 40% or more choose coffee shop.

If not a lot more.

That’s actually the crazy thing about pick-up, and any guy who’s done much knows: women thank you far more than any other reaction. If she actually stops to talk, 9/10 times she loves it. Even if they have a boyfriend or don’t want to go out—multiple women have told me: more men should be doing what you’re doing. Please don’t stop.

So there are really only two reasons women (and society as a whole) don’t like the idea of “day game” or pick up:

  1. They envision a scenario where a low value guy is hitting on them in an awkward/vulgar way, which would obviously not be a pleasant experience, nor validating in the way it would be if a high value man was pursuing his amors in a charming way.
  2. They don’t like the idea there’s a routine—guys should just have spontaneous charm, wit, and game. If it’s learned, you see, it doesn’t really count.

I suppose a third objection could possibly come from the ironic attempt by women to sabotage their own sexual freedom through slut shaming and fear of male sexuality, but this is just ridiculous: pick-up artists aren’t rapists or sexual predators. We’re going for seduction; the whole point is that the girl should want to fuck us and have fun doing so, and as such, coercion has nothing to do with our practice.

Perhaps it’s also ironic that point one is solved by point two.

Sorry to break it to you ladies, but the number of true natural Chads out there who just run spontaneous, smooth-ass game is extremely low, and even then those guys are eventually going to be out of the market through marriage, or alternately, figure out what they’re doing and become de facto PUAs, even if they don’t explicitly study game.

So, yeah, duh—if women want the experience of being approached in a way that’s fun, exciting, and ultimately, sexy, then they shouldn’t have any issue with guys learning game. You all say you like confidence and experience, right? None of the women I’ve dated think I’m a pick up artist—a player maybe—but when you’re good, it doesn’t look like game. You just come across as a cool, strong, confident dude.

Now, I’m not claiming to always be super smooth–I still fuck up. But I’m much better than I used to be, and some of it is pretty smooth. Because it becomes natural.

A simple definition of Game is that we’re using evolutionary principles of sexuality to attract women. That’s it. We live in a society that downplays male sexuality: guys are constantly told to hide or disguise their intentions (why uncle Tom tells us not to hide our dick); this is honestly why we see so many situations turn into sexual assault. The guy has been super nice to the chick, she trusts him, and then after a few drinks he goes to make a move and she’s like WTF, because he’s never signaled to her in any way that he finds her attractive.

We teach men the opposite: in day game, most opens are direct. “Excuse me, but I just wanted to say you look lovely/very nice.” And the close is also direct: “let’s get a coffee or drink sometime.” The girl knows, without a doubt that the player is interested in her. Sexually.

This also turns her on, because part of attraction for women is being an object of desire. Of base animal lust.

And it makes sense, right? Does she want the sort of man who’s begging to poke at her timidly, or take her like a savage and sow his seed in her fertile little body?

If we’re honest, no one wants the latter. Men or women.

So here’s the thing ladies: stop complaining about it. We want to seduce you, and if you don’t want that to happen, say no. That’s it. Really easy.

And if we persist to a respectful degree, shouldn’t we really go for you if we think we’ve got a shot: I mean fuck, you’re beautiful. That’s the whole reason we stopped you. But it’s always with your consent. You don’t want to talk. Don’t want to text. Cool. We’ll go talk to more girls.

And it’s true, we might have done this before, have a few tricks up our sleeve, but we also prepared for this: a true player has his shit together–he’s fit, well-dressed, groomed, stylish. He’s probably got some tattoos, earrings, maybe owns a motorcycle, wears a necklace, or he’s super clean cut, older, the George Clooney type. Point is: he looks as good as he can. And his attitude and demeanor are 100% congruent with that.

Point is, ladies, if he’s doing it right, you’re going to like it. This is going to be fun, maybe more fun than you’ve ever had with a man. And when you’re with a player, you can get off the ride whenever you want–even if that’s blowing us out on the open.

So, really, instead of being upset about it, women out there should adopt Nash’s motto: Viva Day Game!

And fellas, I’m telling you:

There’s never been a better time to be a player.


  1. ‘If we’re honest, no one wants the latter.’ Think you meant the former…
    Besides, good point and well written.


  2. I know one woman who’s only reason for going to coffee shops is for men to pick her up. She hasn’t used tinder in years, and knows how to seduce men. If she ends up being a spinster, it’ll be due to a shitty roll of dice. But at least she rolls them.

    These anti-PUA girls are at high risk of being spinsters due to their unapproachability, and they can’t (or won’t) see it. Unfortunately, I suspect there is a lot of past unresolved trauma that feeds into this pattern.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good defense; I expect that the only defense needed would be to look at whom does the author of the article actually sleep with as opposed to who she complains about. Good chance there is Neil Strauss or Roosh on the bookshelf. Just a fact of life these days.

    I’m inclined to the Patrice Oneal defense: “Aren’t women boring.”

    Or “I’m just tired of living in a world where women get to have an opinion.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. > Sorry to break it to you ladies, but the number of true natural Chads out there who just run spontaneous, smooth-ass game is extremely low
    > Now, I’m not claiming to always be super smooth–I still fuck up. But I’m much better than I used to be, and some of it is pretty smooth. Because it becomes natural.

    There is a nice 1-2 punch in these lines ^ above. It is true there aren’t many “naturals” (which is how nature intended it). But it is also true that after a man learns to game… it is natural. I am natural now. But I wasn’t always… that’s for sure.

    And I think this is a point that men need to learn more than women. It’s like anything, you don’t start out “natural.” I often use tennis. Is it natural to serve on your first day? Or return a serve? Men want to “be themselves” but is anyone good at anything as they begin? They are “being themselves” as beginners at first, and “being themselves” as smooth Chads when they get better. And we can be honorable and clean at each step of the process by recognizing what we are and then being that.

    It’s faking it that is a problem. And that is a legitimate complaint from girls… guys being fake. On your first day, you can be a beginner, and that is real. But if you pretend to be a pro… that’s insulting. If you pretend to being something other than showing interest (even “direct-indirect” interest), it’s insulting. It reduces trust all around.
    We even have guys running around pretending to be pro to other guys… it’s insulting then too.

    Dramatic chicks and feminuts will always hiss at game. And so will most men (it’s very threatening for a guy to be standing still while other men are changing their odds). But for the rest of us – particularly ourselves as players – we can keep our head up, develop the craft of charm, and be the kind of men that go after what they want.

    But for men that think that path if full of fakery and tricks… I think they should expect scorn. They have always represented an ugly corner of game. And they do all of us a disservice.

    Liked by 1 person

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