OK, I’m going to keep this short and sweet, but here’s something I’ve learned that a lot of guys in game–especially new to game–tend not to get.
- There is no value in burning a lead. None. Whether a chick ghosts you or simply fades off the map after a few bangs, there’s no reason to tell her off or delete her number, unless you’re CERTAIN you don’t want to fuck her again.
- Sometimes chicks will flake on a date as a shit test. She’s trying to see how you react. Most guys get butthurt, text her what a bitch she is, and she’s just sitting back thinking, “glad I didn’t go out with that loser.”
Now, here’s the reason why most guys don’t do either of these two things:
Why you shouldn’t burn leads.
I consider a lead to be a chick you got a number from (or whatever means of contacting her) who has actually texted back.
Numbers that don’t text back aren’t leads–those chicks just aren’t interested.
Anyway, if you got her number (however–even through online game) and she’s texted with you, she’s at least somewhat interested. Obviously, if you got her out on a date or even better, had sex with her, she’s genuinely attracted to you to some degree.
So, if you think she’s attractive, and she’s showing signs of interest, why would you blow yourself out? A: EGO.
One thing I hear a lot of guys say is: fuck that bitch–if she can’t respect me or my time, then I want nothing to do with her! From our perspective, this seems rational, but you’re forgetting the chick. Maybe she’s not feeling well, she’s on her period, she’s got a BF she’s not quite ready to leave, or these days, maybe her parents contracted Coronavirus. Who knows? But the point is, there could be any number of reasons she’s gone dark that have nothing to do with you or her respect for you. Why burn the bridge?
So here’s what you do instead: withdraw attention, ping in an appropriate amount of time. If she flakes on a first date, don’t say anything, then ping her in 2-3 days with something funny. Don’t mention the flake.
If you’ve gone out or had sex with her and she falls off the map, it’s probably best to wait longer–or alternately, just don’t reply or text her. Who knows? Maybe she reaches out at some point, because you haven’t burned that bridge. That’s actually happened with a few chicks for me recently with this Coronavirus shit–girls popping up out of the wood work to see what I’m doing.
Why? Because this is how a man with abundance behaves. Always remember: what would Chad do? Does he get butthurt and defensive? No. Easy come, easy go. He moves on to the next chick.
With regard to your ego, drown that motherfucker in a bathtub. This isn’t a video game where you lose points for texting a girl who doesn’t text back. Who cares? If she doesn’t reply, figure out a way to generate more leads.
But RPD, I hate chicks who plays games…
That brings me to the next point:
Sometimes chicks flake on a date as a shit test.
Get over it: chicks are going to play games. That shouldn’t make you mad–we’re playing the game too, right?
Double Take (the first girl from Tinder I fucked in January) told me, post sex, that sometimes she flakes on dates on purpose to see how guys react, but if they’re cool, she’ll come out (and presumably fuck) the next time.
Plus, as mentioned above, there could be any number of reasons she flaked that have nothing to do with you.
Part of what guys need to understand these days, is that flaking and ghosting is so ubiquitous, younger women don’t see anything wrong with it. Make no mistake: it’s rude, and I don’t think you should do it. If you set up a date, go. And there’s absolutely no reason you can’t make up an excuse or simply be honest with a chick you’re no longer into and tell her why.
But that’s not how most women work. She’s not going to give you an excuse–she’s going to flake and/or ghost. 90% of more of the time. It sucks, but that’s the way things are these days.
So, to be quite honest, the best thing you can do is be non-reactive. Withdraw your attention, but leave that door open. In a way, this is your best revenge–most guys will get pissed and prove to the girl she was right to flake. If you don’t, and she still cares to think about you, that hamster wheel is spinning: why didn’t he text me, doesn’t he want to go out again, I wonder if he’s seeing other girls…
Now, I should couch all of this advice with the caveat that most of the time, if she flakes or ghosts, she’s gone–and the less of a relationship you have with her, the more that’s true.
But even if 10% of girls come back (and in my experience, at least some will), that’s a win. Because you didn’t act like a chode and slam the door.
Now, with some chicks, you actually do want to slam the door, but only when you are completely uninterested. I had to do this recently with Kitty, a girl I first gamed back in Sept 2018. She’s come back a number of times, and that got me a few extra lays–but this last time, she didn’t want to fuck, and I’d had enough: I’d spent too much time and energy on her to not get sex (I cooked a fantastic dinner for her), so when she pinged me afterward, I told her she was too old (mean, yes, but I don’t appreciate my effort and time being wasted in that way) and to stop contacting me. Then I blocked her.
But to be quite honest, since getting into game, that’s the only girl I can remember slamming the door shut on. And not shutting those doors has allowed me to get a lot of residual lays I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.
Sorry to change the line I usually end with guys, but given the time of the Coronavirus, there have definitely been better times to be a player.
Stay safe out there!