So my last post on OLD (online dating), or what I like to call SOD (swipe/online dating) was kind of a downer, and most of my Twitter feed is consumed by guys decrying the end of Western Civilization and the general depravity of modern women.
I tend to be pretty cynical as it is, so when I’m on the apps and surrounded by what guys are saying on Twitter, I can come to have a damned dark perspective on the world–and it would seem I’m not the only one.
However, here’s another place where the red pill is useful, because it teaches us to view the world objectively. Now, in the initial phase it’s pretty negative, because so much of what we’re taught is stripped away, the world can feel alien and the traditional aim of good job, wife, and kids, seems stupid–or at least a lot more difficult than what society would lead you to believe.
But once you understand all that stuff, viewing the world objectively is ultimately good and useful, and in the case of what we think about SOD and social media, we need to remember to see the forest for the trees.
A lot of women don’t use dating apps.
To start, let’s just remember that only a certain portion of girls are using SOD at any one time. My guess is that maybe 20-25% of all single women in a given metropolitan area are using one or more dating apps at a particular time, tops. We see this in the numbers, which vary, but all tell the same story–that men significantly outnumber women on SOD.
We also need to remember that probably 30-40% of all women either never use SOD, or rarely use it…because they don’t need to. Women who are sexy and even somewhat social can typically meet guys organically, whether through social circle or guys they meet at work or when they go out. Like, if she’s an honest to God 7 or higher, and not a recluse, there are no shortage of guys she can choose from–and we know for a fact that most women prefer to meet guys IRL vs. online.
Additionally, we see a lot of guys freaking out about OnlyFans and IG and Tik-Tok, but again, I’d argue most girls aren’t social media thots. We’re talking about a small percentage who are truly that narcissistic and vain. Maybe 10%, tops?
There are four other things to think about here as well:
- The girls who use SOD are by nature going to be the most flaky, the least social, and the most picky–there’s a reason she’s single, in other words, and you aren’t the problem. She is.
- SOD heavily favors women. We all know that. So, the results guys are going to get using the apps skews negative, and not by a small margin.
- Women implicitly view guys on the apps in a negative light–her assumption is that HQ guys aren’t on the apps, because that’s probably been her experience, and in general it’s kind of true. Guys who are ballers–who have strong social circles and/or game, aren’t on the apps. I think that this perception is less true than women think, but it doesn’t matter: if that’s her perception, then it’s true.
- Because women can often match +2-3 of their SMV on the apps, they get pumped and dumped a lot. Now, a reasonable person might conclude that this mismatch in value is why, but I don’t think most women understand this, so what develops is a negative feedback loop–when she chooses to match, she’s only going to swipe on HAWT guys who for her, would be worth getting pumped and dumped by…so basically, that’s what happens, and in the long run a lot of women get pretty jaded about SOD.
And for this reason, as I’ve said, I’m not a huge fan of the apps. I don’t think it has a good effect on male-female relationships, or the SMP in general. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: SOD is black pill. The only rules are be good looking; don’t be bad looking.
Pursuing sex isn’t a priority for women in the same way it is for men
But again, there are a lot of girls out there who aren’t on the apps, or who don’t use them very often if they do. One thing to keep in mind is that women–especially the hot ones–are always approaching sex from an abundance mentality. She has no problem getting sex, so there’s no rush. The other thing is that women don’t prioritize sex the way men do. There are lot of girls out there who are just off the market in general, because they’re focusing on other things–hot chicks aren’t constantly fucking Chads, and we have to remember that.
Anyway, I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that not all is lost, and the SMP isn’t nearly as bad as it seems when we remember we’re often looking at the worst actors on SOD and/or social media thots. Yes, hypergamy matters–it’s a factor for sure–and yes, SOD isn’t good, but there are still so many beautiful feminine girls out there for the taking, especially if you can learn cold approach, develop a social circle, etc.
And the best news fellas? Our competition is lousy. Even a lot of really good looking guys have bad game, and how many guys out there are lazy fucks who just play video games, don’t lift, don’t read, and have very little value in terms of status/wealth?
A: a hell of a lot. As is often pointed out on Twitter by the tough guys, if you lift, eat well, take care of yourself, and spend your time building value, you’re already in the top 10-20% of dudes. Again, you may not match a ton on SOD, but if you can find ways to present your true value via social circle or cold approach, you’ll be successful.
Part of the problem right now is that with COVID-19, SOD is basically the only option…but keep in mind that this too shall pass. Things will go back to normal at some point and opportunities to run game will present themselves. It’s part of the human condition to view things as they are now and assume that’s how they will always be, but if we step back, take few deep breaths, and soldier on, all will be well.
Feel like that’s a good place to end things for now.
There have admittedly been better times to be a player, but once things go back to normal, I think cold approach will be fire. 2020’s been a shit year, no doubt, but I’m hopeful there’s a better future that awaits.
Is that woo-woo enough for you, Yoylo?