I’ve been chatting quite a bit with a player who shall remain anonymous (wrote the game modalities post) and several others about the lack of girl game.
Counter intuitive, because most women have better game than men, and we often make the assumption chicks always know what they’re doing when it comes to the mating dance.
But the main reason we don’t see, or recognize bad girl game is because it looks different than bad guy game.
When a guy has bad game, mostly it means he just can’t get chicks. He doesn’t project confidence, can’t hold a conversation, can’t escalate, and/or fails at piquing the girl’s interest. A lot of guys are also way too honest because they take what we’re told about women, and often by them, at face value: sharing feelings, putting her before your mission, being lovey-dovey, etc.
The exception is the guy who’s basically willing to fuck and get in a relationship with chicks way below his value (all too common give then dynamic of SOD), which is most definitely bad game, but of a different sort (a mistake girls make too, which we’ll come to).
For the sake of this post, we’ll define bad girl game as the failure to get good sex and/or lasting value from HQ men, commensurate to their own value.
The Boat and the Waterfall
I know that The Wall is the common expression we use to describe what happens when a woman hits a certain age, but I think a better analogy is that a woman’s beauty is like boat on a river, and on every river, there’s eventually a massive waterfall.
What’s at the bottom? We don’t know and we don’t particularly care. Once the water flows over the falls, it’s gone, boat with it, into the darkness below.
For most women, the goal is to eventually have a man who will get in the boat and show her a hell of a great time (good sex), or a solid guy who’s willing stay in the boat and go over the falls with her when the time comes.
However, when she’s young and beautiful, the falls are a long way off so there seems to be no rush in settling down–the water’s lovely and cool and the warm sun beats against their skin, so lithe and fresh–and plenty of guys are willing to get on, float, and paddle–for a time at least. In fact, for many women there’s literally almost no time in her young life when at least several men aren’t competing to get in and row the boat.
But eventually, invariably, the water flows downhill toward the falls, carrying the boat with it.
As time passes, the river flows faster, going through rapids, powerful eddies, long stretches of black water between towering cliffs, and as we might expect, fewer and fewer men want to get on, knowing that with each passing year, they come closer to the falls.
But still the boat glides on, until…
First you hear it. Low. Perhaps only the hiss of distance.
But soon enough it’s unmistakable, and then it becomes a roar, and as the boat rounds the corner, the stark drop off of the horizon is unmistakeable, mists rising from beyond.
You’ll notice here that before a great waterfall, the river almost always bellies up into a calm, sunny piece of flat water or a lovely pool.
And it’s pleasant enough, but with the roar breathing in the distance only the most foolish, low value guys are willing to chance a ride. Perhaps a few are still willing to scramble aboard, but most scramble off again pretty quickly, not willing to chase whatever doom lies over the edge.
One point on the waterfall/boat analogy: for a lot of chicks, the falls can happen in their 20s. Possibly before. Sad, because the truth is that for most women, if she stays away from sugar and alcohol, does yoga once a week and walks or jogs occasionally, she’s probably at least a 6-7 if not better in terms of SMV, into her late 20s/early 30’s–maybe longer.
Realistically you could use the same analogy for men, except that for guys it takes a long time to build up enough flow for the river to even matter, and instead of going over a falls, the man’s boat simply floats out into the ocean, and eventually is lost at sea…but I digress.
There are really two useful ways to examine bad girl game: one is through archetypes–the personality of particular groups of women. The other are negative patterns of behavior which all women might exhibit from time to time.
Before we get to the content, I want to state that I’m writing this not with the intention of slut shaming women, being misogynistic, or to say in so many words “women bad” as we often see in the manosphere. Rather, there are two purposes of this post:
- So that men may more easily recognize bad girl game and can then make an informed decision as to how to proceed. Bad girl game is a turnoff, but if we see it for what it is, it’s not necessarily disqualifying. For example, a chick can flake on you and not be a terrible person, and indeed I’d argue that if you want to have an active dating life or be a player, you have to develop a tolerance for flaking and ignore a lot of it. Like, I’ve had chicks flake on a date–even two dates–and then fucked them later when I finally got them out. So don’t give up too early. Ping her after the flake and see what happens.
- For the few women who read this blog, to recognize that they too need game. Many women would be far happier if they had some strategy involved in their dating lives rather than just letting the hamster wheels spin, relying on emotion and whatever guy happens to come along next. And ultimately, we’d all be better off if women were more reasonable when it comes to dating and relationships.
Let’s start with the archetypes.
Female Relationship Archetypes
One of the girls men in game rarely talk about (because she’s mostly not available), the Settler is willing to let a wide variety of dudes on the boat, so pretty early on, some dude climbs aboard, and because her standards for a captain aren’t all that high, he tends to stay on for quite a long time.
Of course, love is a fickle thing, and so in many cases these early relationships end.
But the Settler has gotten used to having a man in the boat, so when one leaves–or is pushed out–it’s almost certain that another takes his place pretty quick.
Generally, one of two things happen with these kinds of chicks:
- They end up getting serious with a guy while quite young, getting married and/or having kids, and then abandoning him because she realizes she didn’t have the fun, sexy times young girls are supposed to have playing the field fucking Chads, or because the guy turned out to be a chump beta, or both.
- Same thing early on, but it works out–the guy ends up having some quality and/or the girl realizes her life is better with him than without. Especially true if they have kids.
Thing is: you probably want a Settler. Lots of them are extremely beautiful. The purest version of the Settler is the Sweetheart, who’s hot and uncommonly kind and submissive. Hard not to want to keep her. She makes for a good wife. And the reason players don’t run across these chicks very often is again, they’re mostly not available–the hot, smart ones in particular get married and figure out how not to fuck that up.
However, I’d say a lot of Settlers meet other, male Settlers and then they do what you’d expect: they settle. Maybe the sex was great when they were young and in shape, but 20 years later you find them flabby, wearing Lands End at Costco, buying pork tenderloins and at least four varieties of cheese, but there’s no wine in the cart, which makes it less classy than it sounds, plus–and you know this on sight–they’re going to get those fucking muffins too: those ones with the chocolate chips or big greasy blueberry tops that have to be at least 1500 calories each, 89% of it sugar…
OK, I’m ranting now–but the point here is that you usually shouldn’t marry the first couple of people you fuck, especially if you’re a man. At the very least it lacks ambition.
The exception, as I mentioned, is the Sweetheart. She’s one of the two kinds of chicks you want to marry.
I don’t even think we need to spend that much time on this one, do we?
But because it’s me, we will 🙂
She’s the chick you’ve actually pulled from night game, even though you suck at it. The girl who comes straight over to fuck off Tinder. The kind of girl I tend to sleep with, actually. Lots of fun. Usually pretty hot. 33% chance she’s done some kind of stripping or sold her pussy some other way, but she’s good at sucking cock, fucks on the first date, and doesn’t stick around after, because if she did she’d rarely sleep in her own bed…
A little–obviously an exaggeration, but on the other hand, there are more girls like this than most people know, and I think at least 50% (or more) of all women have a slutty phase where they thot it up for at least a year or two.
The classic Thot.
Now don’t get me wrong: the Thot may get herself some good sex, so in that sense her strategy is a win. But often she becomes so obsessed with variety that she forgets about quality, and thus abandons good sex for new sex (one of the negative patterns of behavior we’ll come to in the next section–assuming all men are the same).
Anyway, the long term mistake the Thot makes is that her life becomes so absorbed in her ego and identity, she lacks depth of character and never develops her intellect; often, she ends up hitting the falls earlier than she ought as well because partying isn’t conducive to a healthy lifestyle, but in the end she’s too picky to accept the sort of man who wants to date a girl who got gangbanged in college.
Or, really, at all.
I believe I tweeted that once.
The other simultaneous mistake Thots make is that they meet plenty of high quality men during this time, but they don’t realize it soon enough and the guy walks (again, assuming all men are the same), because all she’s bringing to the table is sex. Plus, Thots don’t usually help themselves: they’re flaky, make bad life choices, try to withhold sex as negotiation, don’t bring anything to the table aside sex, and are generally shorter of temper than most women.
Now look, I’m not slut shaming. I’m a male thot. I love slutty girls. I think having sex with lots of good looking women is great, and I imagine for thots the reverse is true and life is pretty fun and amazing for awhile.
The trick is knowing when to get off the rollercoaster and cash in their chips, and a lot of Thots miss that chance–coupled or married life is simply never going to be as fun as playing the field, but Thots often think that the party should go on forever, and as a result, they usually make for horrible partners.
This is a shame, because sometimes they are VERY hot, but as the name suggests the Prude doesn’t put out.
“You’re going to have to wait mister!” she squeals and rolls away, wrinkling her nose at you, quickly putting her shirt back on, trying to play it off–but she’s flustered. You’ve had “the talk” about how she’s waiting for a guy who’s more serious before she has sex again.
She was “hurt” you see.
And she probably was–but here’s what most guys don’t know: immediately after the prude gets hurt, she goes into slut mode. It might only last one night, but it could go on for as long as a year or even several. She might even flip here, and go full on Thot. I’ve seen it happen. But nearly EVERY girl who really gets hurt by that first love fucks the biggest swinging dick Chad she can find very quickly after it happens.
Hopefully that’s you. If you’re good at day or night game it can be. I suspect that actually, when guys claim they’re getting same day lays from 18 and 19 year old “virgins”, she’s not truthfully a virgin, she just says she is and that’s what he wants to believe so he does. But really what happened is she had her heart broken, her first love perhaps, and then she went out, ran into a Chad, and fucked him.
Anyway, as you might guess, the Prude withholds sex to the point where the quality guys leave, because they can certainly get it elsewhere, or she becomes cold and out of touch with her sensuality. She starts dressing like a mom–or worse, a man. Cuts her hair short. Wears clothing that would impress an Imam. Starts posting a lot of stuff about how a true man worships a woman–that a real man chooses a partner because he admires her intellect.
One thing here for the ladies: we DO like women who are smart and interesting, but only if they’re hot first. Same is true in reverse, so don’t bitch.
But the real mistake the Prude makes is that she, like the Thot, fails to find a man before she hits the falls, because she was so goddamn picky along the way–on top of not putting out. This is the kind of girl who tries online dating, swipes +2 of her SMV and matches a third of the time, and the dates go one of two ways:
- She sleeps with him, and then he ghosts her.
- She doesn’t sleep with him…and then he ghosts her.
The Basic Bitch
Similar to the prude, the Basic Bitch is so concerned about fitting in with societal expectations, she misses a ton of opportunities with HQ men.
The first we see in day game (or even night game) quite a bit, which usually starts with the question: “how old are you?” Many girls, especially in their early 20s, have been told all their lives that dating older guys is “icky” or that older guys are “creepy.” So she automatically rejects a lot of very HQ men when she’s young and hot, preferring to shack up with guys she went to high school or college with near her own age. For women not yet in the know, here’s the difference between young and old guys:
Understand, the “icky/creepy” thing is completely manufactured by our society. It’s not real–indeed, if women are honest, they’re extremely attracted to older men so long as they’re in shape and have some status–but it’s a big part of the cultural messaging, and though all chicks are to some extent herd animals, the Basic Bitch is especially sensitive to herd mentality.
Worse, even supposing the age difference isn’t an issue, Basic Bitches tend to reject cold approach in general (if you’re good they can still be had–one of the places where the best PUAs separate themselves from the pack), mostly relying on social circle or SOD to meet guys, which again, limits their options.
Additionally, because the Basic Bitch acts mostly based on perception, and society says girls should have serious, monogamous BFs moving toward marriage, that’s what they do–these are your classic serial monogamists, because posting cute seasonal pics with (or without) her BF on IG is more important than good sex or polarity. In some ways, very similar to the Settler, but the difference is that the Basic Bitch has higher standards, especially for what they expect within the relationship.
So generally two things happen:
- They serial monogamize, but it never materializes into marriage, because either the BF isn’t marriage-worthy, or because he decides he doesn’t want to marry her in the end (usually because she gets demanding at the same time as putting out less). This continues into her 30s, at which point things get kinda weird, fewer guys are interested but she still has these super high standards, etc., and eventually she goes over the falls, alone.
- One of her serial relationships actually sticks, becomes a marriage, and it’s the perfect storybook ending: her IG ends up looking like something out of a Pottery Barn catalog. If she’s submissive, nice enough, and the guy manages to hold up his end of the bargain by fucking her good, providing, staying in shape, and holding frame, the truth is that it can work out pretty well for everyone.
The danger is when she’s not submissive and nice combined with the guy dropping the ball, and she ends up divorced like the Settler, only a little worse off because unlike the Settler, who probably got married at 21-22, the Basic Bitch might not get married until she’s around 30, and then after 7 years it’s over, at which point she’s in that final stage of water before the falls, and she ends up being one of those desperate 30-year-olds who tries to lock you down after a one night stand.
I mentioned that the Sweetheart is one kind of girl you want to marry–the other is the Darlin’, who’s Basic, but understands what it means to be feminine and attractive (part of the Basic Bitch brand, but isn’t quite so shallow or narcissistic), and actually makes for a pretty good wife, again, provided you make good money and can hold the frame.
Negative Patterns of Behavior
Next, I want to talk about some of the mistakes any girl might make in game, at one time or another. Let’s start with everyone’s favorite:
Probably doesn’t need a lot of explanation, but modern women are flaky as all hell.
I’m not saying dudes don’t flake, but women are at least 10x worse.
And the thing is, I don’t think women understand quite how badly this lowers their value–not because of the individual flake, but because of the mindset it engenders. Because by flaking all the time, the message she’s telling herself, whether she realizes it or not, is that men are disposable–that our time, emotions, value, etc. don’t matter.
I mean think about it: flakiness is ultimately a product of selfishness. She’s saying my feelings, emotions, comfort, matter far more than what this man might have to offer. And it becomes a self perpetuating cycle. Guy 1 didn’t matter–how is guy 2 any different? A: he’s not. At least not in her mind.
Now it should come to no surprise then, that the younger and prettier she is, the more likely she is to be flaky (what’s weird is that older women can be flaky too–which tells you a lot about why she’s still single), because for those girls the gamble is actually true in the moment: she’s got so many dudes hitting her up, she won’t ever lack for attention when she wants it. At least, not in the short run.
For girls who actually figure out early enough that they have to come out at some point, it’s fine, but even then, a lot of chicks end up squandering opportunities, especially with HQ guys. Because while a simp will sit around and continue lavishing her with attention, a HQ guy–or a player–will move on if she flakes too early or often.
Side note: I say that chicks benefit from sleeping with players, even though we don’t offer monogamy, because it’s one of the two things women want–hot sex on one end of the spectrum, provisioning and companionship on the other. If you’re an ethical player, you treat her well, fuck her good, and allow her to express her true sexuality. Understand, that’s rare for chicks, so even though many women might view sleeping with a player as bad because he won’t stick around, most guys aren’t going to give her earth shattering orgasms every time they have sex.
(BTW–great book for beginners is The Sex God Method)
Anyway, a HQ guy might be a player, or he might be more monogamous, but again, he’s not sticking around for a flake–he’s moving on. He has options.
Plus as I said it can become a self perpetuating cycle where she flakes so much she develops social anxiety and that’s a whole separate can of worms we’ll come to.
Lack of Depth
Related to flakiness, and perhaps its cause at times, is lacking depth.
I realize that term is vague but I use it intentionally, as it’s not necessarily IQ, or personality, or education, but an inability to make conversation or interact on a higher level. I’ve written that the basic dynamic of relationship polarity is: masculine energy gives, feminine beauty receives.
And that’s true. But if she can’t receive and reflect that masculine energy, basic interactions become difficult–Breeze has a great post as it happens, on how to make conversations more interesting when you run into this.
But like, there’s something to be said for a chick who’s clever, maybe even a bit cynical, or who’s well read (shout out to HSG). And it can be a lot of things: maybe she likes to cook, maybe she likes to travel (although there’s a vapid type of this–think Thot), maybe she’s into kayaking, or skiing, or hiking–you get the point. Assuming she’s attractive, chicks who do stuff and read are vastly superior to chicks who do nothing but stare at their phones.
IG/SOD Attention Whoring and Narcissism
Men are simple creatures: we want to fuck. Hot chicks if they’re accessible, but otherwise we’re happy to fuck the most available chick at the time, which means we’re sometimes willing to chase lesser quarry.
But women are different. Yes–women want sex–but they also seem equally, or sometimes moreso, to want attention.
Enter Instagram, where a 6+ chick can attention whore all day, every day. If we’re honest, there are a lot of women who get trapped in this feedback loop where they care more about the number of IG followers and likes they have than a real man with real value and a real cock.
SOD (swipe/online dating) is similar, in that it’s easy for girls to get more concerned with getting matches and attention from random guys than actually meeting anybody. It’s akin to a child collecting Pokemon: there’s no real value. Nothing is truly won or lost. But it’s a fun game to play and it keeps that dopamine coming.
Unfortunately, a lot of younger girls are now falling into this trap–guys in the manosphere often assume all hot, young chicks are constantly fucking Chads, but that’s not true. There are a lot of girls out there who just attention whore, and would rather make fun of guys trying to slide into their DMs than come out for a date. They also tend to be super flaky.
What’s even sadder in a way is that these girls tend to hit the falls way quicker than they should, wasting their youth and beauty, assuming it’s infinite, all the while drinking too much and/or eating like shit, and not working out because when she’s never had to. And soon enough, her value is diminished, but because she flakes a ton and never comes out, her social anxiety makes it very difficult to find a guy before she’s all but invisible to men.
Last point here: social media is toxic. It’s not good for men, but it can become an absolute death trap for women–young, beautiful girls can get so lost in that dopamine feedback loop that they do literally nothing with their lives but take pictures and/or videos of themselves and post them to social media, and that’s sad when so many of them could be having earth shattering orgasms with me or other HQ guys out there 🙂
Pickiness–Especially Re: SOD
This might actually be the most common problem for women who fail to be successful with men: they’re just way too fucking picky.
The apps–Tinder, Bumble, OKC, etc. (SOD)–have massively accelerated this characteristic, because as me and many others have noted, women can often match +2 or even +3 of their SMV on Tinder. Worse, she’s getting tons of attention on IG or Tik-Tok, and the end result is that her perception of her SMV is much, much higher than what it actually is IRL.
What women need to understand is that for a man to commit to an LTR or marriage, it has to be a clear win for him. Like, he has to think to himself: this is about as good as I’m going to do, so I should cash in now.
A good rule of thumb here for women–if you’re constantly worried about him cheating on you and it’s not because he’s a total scumbag, it’s probably because he can, and eventually will. What your subconscious recognizes is that this isn’t an image match. Your value, whatever it is, isn’t enough to match his.
Crazy, because if you’ve paid to see who matches you on the apps, it’s absolutely astonishing to see the number of women who swipe right who have zero chance of it working out–absolute wildebeests, who, even supposing they got you out, would be constantly worried about you cheating on them…with good reason. Now I’m sure part of that is the fact that there’s no penalty for swiping right, but it’s also ridiculous–and if you look at the data for how women swipe in general, the level of pickiness is absolutely absurd.
And I should add here: it’s not benefitting women. Sure, occasionally she might be able to hookup with a HAWT guy, but the overall result is that women are competing for a very small number of men who are NEVER going to settle down. Why is an SMV 9 Chad going to stop fucking random chicks for you, a 7 at best, when he can fuck as many women as he has time for each and every week? This dynamic alone has shifted the dating market away from monogamy, which at the end of the day, is what most women want, because her value for pump and dump thottery only last so long, and the Wall, or the Falls, is ever approaching.
Online dating has truly put hypergamy on steroids–and again, if you’re one of those guys who says “muh hypergamy” you can fuck right off. I’m not saying it can’t be overcome–indeed, I’ve overcome it by getting in great shape (although not the case now) and learning cold approach–but to say it’s not a factor or that it doesn’t influence the sexual marketplace (SMP) is just fucking stupid–and I say that as a guy who can sometimes get laid using the apps.
Getting Fat and/or Out of Shape
Being Too Dominant/Masculine aka Trying to Hold the Frame
This is a huge problem with today’s women, and I dare say American women are the worst.
Feminism, as I’ve said, is the strange, toxic, and hypocritical philosophy that says men are bad, but that women should act more like men, and unfortunately, a lot of modern women have bought into this narrative (although remember that many women who appear to be feminists on social media don’t actually care about it IRL).
Now as a guy, if you’re strong, dominant, and don’t put up with shit, a lot of women can be brought to heel–but the truth is some women have such hard frames they can’t be broken, and in that case it’s just never going to work.
Because a women who insists on being the dominant force on a date, or worse, in a relationship, is essentially attempting to reverse the natural polarity that exists between men and women. Might work for awhile, but at some point, when a man becomes submissive, he’s no longer sexy. No woman wants to fuck a man who’s always asking for permission, who waits for her to make moves, plan dates, etc.
This is why there are so many sexless marriages–why you ask women who’ve been married more than a few years if they ever give a BJ to their husband and the very idea elicits disgust. It’s ultimately why a lot of marriages fail. “Happy Wife; Happy Life?” LOL. OK Boomer. Go ahead and try it, but from what I’ve seen, that’s where marriages go to die.
Assuming All Men are Basically the Same and Therefore Disposable
This is somewhat implied in the archetypes as well as some of the above, but it’s one of the dumbest–and strangest–negative patterns of behavior I’ve observed in women.
What’s interesting is that women talk about how some men are better than others all the time–so they’re certainly aware there’s a quality difference that’s often quite large.
Thing is: they often don’t put this knowledge into play. For example, one of the implications of flaking or thottery, is that men are basically the same. One dick is as good as another. And it’s certainly easy to stereotype guys or put us into categories, but the fact is, high quality men are quite rare–and I don’t mean wealth or status. I mean guys who are truly comfortable in their own skin, who know how to be playful and tease, who can draw out her feminine beauty and sensuality. It’s just not that common.
But the way women will jump from man to man, not make an effort to text back or invest in a relationship, flake, be difficult, etc.–would suggest that many women haven’t internalized this truth.
Indeed, I’d argue that this is a big part of hypergamy. Women have these crazy demands that guys be 6′ or over, that they make 100K, etc., and the reality is the percentage of guys who meet these demands are exceedingly small, and they have a large number of women competing for them–and yet, women will flake on guys who do meet those demands or have otherwise demonstrated quality.
Part of this, I suspect, is the emotional nature of women–it’s often the case that a chump has a better chance of fucking a girl than a HQ guy does, because she’s hot and ready to go when the chump meets her, whereas she had a bad day when the HQ guy does his cold approach.
But it’s a big problem. Many women, for whatever reason, just aren’t that good at judging men, and so they end up with whoever happens to be next, rather than the guy who’s actually best.
Quite a comprehensive list if I do say so myself. Hopefully it’s helpful. Didn’t think I would write more than 5500 words when I started this post, but hey, that’s what happened.
And the truth is, there are most certainly things I’m missing. For example, I haven’t even touched interpersonal, in-the-moment girl game, like catching a man’s eye, sitting near him, touching him, and those types of things than can trigger or spark attraction.
But I think that’s enough for now.
2020 sucks–there has never been a worse time to be a player. But it’s good to see guys getting out there and making the best of it. To bring this back to what guys should be doing right now that will help you outfox bad girl game and it’s ill effects:
- Work on your mission–that always has to come first and it’s a mistake I’ve made recently. If you want to get chicks, the best way in the end is to be a truly high value man who has a strong mission and purpose in life. It’s chick crack.
- Stay fit. Another mistake I’ve made that I’m currently remedying (although I never stopped working out–it’s mainly diet–read: beer). But if you’re in great shape, everything else about life gets easier–and with women, much easier.
- Approach. You’ll regret the chick you don’t talk to far more than getting rejected. And to use myself as an example, even though right now I’m focusing on #’s 1 and 2, I’m about to go to the gym…and if there’s an opportunity, you bet your ass I’m approaching.
- Read. Get off the fucking phone and read books. First, books that can help with your mission; second, books and blogs that talk about game–but fiction is also great too. Reading sparks thinking and creativity and social fluidity.
Much love fellas–and the few sisters who read this. Let me know how I did on Twitter or in the comments.