I did a bad thing.
I’d seen people on Twitter reference the rant about men by Tomi Lahren the past few days and to my credit, resisted watching it…
Until, after dropping my son off at his mom’s yesterday.
Not smart, as I imagine any man will be triggered by the usual “all men bad” take, but I have to say I was surprised to find myself agreeing with a fair amount what she said (lead, make plans, have value, etc.), in between the typical hypocrisy we’ve come to expect from women who are disappointed in the men they choose to date.
I honestly can’t imagine a better endorsement of what I’ve said before and what I repeat now, which is that women generally aren’t good judges of men. Like, often exceptionally bad.
And that’s a good place to start ladies. In reply to Ms. Lahren’s gracious PSA for men, let’s make a list for y’all that will be equally as helpful:
#1–Before you complain about a man, remember: you chose to date him.
You swiped left on others, stopped replying to another 20-30, didn’t give the cute guy at the coffee shop your number even though it was suave the way he asked, and, given the average chick these days, you probably flaked on at least 3-4 other guys in the last week or so, because that’s what y’all do (great line on the same subject from Uncle Vasya on r/TheRedPill: “That said, what killed dating? BITCHES FLAKING. Flakes Killed Dates. Go argue with the Sisterhood.TM“)
But you chose to meet this guy. You swiped right, replied to his messages, gave him your number, said yes to the date, and holy shit girl, you actually showed up!
Maybe stuff happened. Probably they did…because here’s my guess: the reason you swiped right, replied, etc, etc, was that he was HAWT. Or else, had lots of status and/or money.
And that’s OK. I don’t judge you for that. Women are naturally attracted to men who are fit and have status and/or money–this doesn’t make you a slut or a gold digger or a thot or any of those other nasty things people say about women–but here’s the part of the equation you didn’t consider: every other girl is attracted to this guy too.
In the modern age where we have access to thousands of people on IG, tens of thousands on SOD, on top of however large one’s social circle is, the fact is a pretty girl today has loads of top guys to choose from in terms of who she might want to date.
Here’s the problem: every hot chick in your metropolitan area who’s single has access to a similar pool of HAWT guys, including many of the exact same ones in your pool.
Bit of a tell on Tomi’s part, but note that the first point in her PSA to men is: “are you single?” As in–I want you to be, but you’re not. Ironically, she’s only been “single” since breaking off her engagement to a handsome, successful guy in April–guess quarantining together didn’t go well–don’t worry we’ll come back to this.
But here’s the thing: if you’re a guy in one of those pools hot chicks are focusing on, why in fuck’s name would you ever be purely single, and on the other hand, why would you ever fully commit?
A: You wouldn’t. Because there’s always some hot chick on Tinder who’s interested, or some IG “model” you’re DMing, or some cute girl your buddy introduced you to recently at the pool party over the weekend.
One of the two typical complaints women have about relationships is that the guy didn’t want one (the other is some form of he was boring and/or unambitious; they usually frame it nicer than that, but same thing–also read: bad in bed).
Well…again, the question is, why would he? You fucked him didn’t you? You really think other girls won’t, or don’t?
No, of course they will–and do. So what does he gain, by say, dating a girl like Tomi Lahren?
A: not a goddamn thing.
Based on the little I’ve seen of her (not a fan of cable news generally), she seems mean, judgmental, entitled, and generally bitchy. So, unless she’s way different than the person she shows on TV, might be safe to assume she’s not super pleasant to be around? At the very least I have a hard time seeing her giving back-rubs or making dinner, or offering a whole lot of the feminine attention and love men desire.
She also admits to working long hours and making her own money. Good on her for that–but again, how does this benefit the Chad she’s pining after? First off, if she’s interested he probably has his own (women tend to date up, not down), but even if he doesn’t, it doesn’t matter, because almost every man knows this deep in his soul that women aren’t going to pay for you. Doesn’t mean they won’t occasionally buy dinner or whatever, but it’s exceedingly rare that a woman–particularly an attractive one–will consistently pay for a guy to be with her the way a sugar daddy pays for his trophy wife.
This brings us to the next point:
#2–Ladies: your success and money doesn’t matter to men. We literally don’t care, and I mean literally, as in actually, factually, in reality, we don’t give AF about how much money or status you have.
Main reason is that it’s never helpful. Indeed, it’s often a detriment.
There’s an inverse relationship to how much money a woman makes vs. how good of companion/mom she’ll be. Fact. I know, I know ladies–your mom and teachers told you that you could have it all, but that was a lie, and my guess is you kind of knew it all along.
This is just one of the fundamental differences between men and women.
Women like money, wealth, and stability–so a man who’s focused on his career and spends a ton of time in the office is, while not ideal, still very attractive. Especially if she’s got a four bedroom lake house to stay in while he’s gone and they vacation for two weeks every year in Belize.
Men, on the other hand, don’t care, because an attractive women who makes good money won’t date a guy who’s less successful–or at least not for long. How many female lawyers or doctors do you know who are dating or married to a guy who works at the local warehouse making $45K a year? Conversely, how many male lawyers or doctors do you know who married a stylist or barista, now a homemaker?
Please keep in mind: no judgment here. It’s just the way it is. Doesn’t mean women or men are bad or good–it’s just that we’re attracted to different qualities, and this for some reason seems lost, particularly on women.
This idea–that we should somehow care more about status and money–is implied or explicit throughout Tomi’s rant (“value value”), and the fact is, we just don’t. The college girl we meet at the bar is just as hot, if not more so, than the 32 yo lawyer who rolled up in a new Tesla. For women, it’s the reverse.
So, once again: we, men, don’t care about how much money you make. We don’t care about your status. Might be impressive, but it’s not a turn on. So please, for the love of God, stop thinking that it is.
#3–Men won’t commit to a relationship unless it’s an obvious win for them.
So let’s cut to the chase: what Tomi is complaining about on behalf of herself and her friends is this–the men they choose won’t commit.
- Her #1 rule for guys is a question: “are you single?” Because if you aren’t, to whatever degree, you can’t commit. Aka, be in a position to commit.
- Her #2 rule is “makes plans,” aka be more reliable, aka commit.
- Her #3 rule for guys is “value value,” aka see how much money I make, aka commit.
- Her #4 rule is “consistency,” aka stop fucking me and playing games after, aka commit.
- Her #5 rule is, ironically, “don’t be a bitch,” aka don’t get pissed we can’t fuck anymore when I figure out you won’t commit and move on…aka commit.
So the real question is why don’t guys commit to a relationship with attractive, high value women like Tomi and her friends?
Well, as I spelled out under point one, the guys most women–especially hot women–choose, don’t have to commit…so they don’t. But let’s make it even easier. What follows is a basic breakdown of each level of guy and what it would take for him to commit.
- Level 1: Nerd who constantly plays video games or spends his time on some other sort of time wasting venture (like writing blogs about Tomi Lahren) to the point where he can’t make much money, is out of shape, and shits his pants when he talks to chicks. His win is literally any woman who will fuck him. And that seems a high bar considering he basically has nothing to offer a woman other than bad dick and the need for a mommy, but that’s the thing: guys in 2020 aren’t going to get married unless it’s a clear win. Shall we continue?
- Level 2: Low brow guy who barely graduated high school (or didn’t), and is now working some sort of blue collar job, making OK money, but still paycheck to paycheck. Crazy thing is if he’s good looking and has game, he can still fuck hot chicks sometimes. So, his win is a 6 who will fuck him AND stick around, maybe get herself preggers to keep a man, that sort of thing.
- Level 3: Guy with a decent job who’s financially stable but not a baller–say a teacher, low volume or low commission sales, writer (*cough*), manager of a shitty business he doesn’t own, etc. Again, if he’s good looking and has game, can fuck 7s, maybe even some 8s. His win is a chick who’s quite a bit hotter than the typical chick he fucks (6-7) and/or is giving him feminine attention and love (this is super rare–which we’ll come to).
- Level 4: Guy with a good job who makes truly good money. Think high volume or high commission sales, lawyer, consultant, engineer, doctor, etc. His win is a girl who’s both hotter than his typical fuck, so probably a high 7 or 8, and who gives him a large dose of feminine attention and love.
- Level 5: Guy who makes next level money and/or is VERY good looking. Think: surgeon, corporate attorney, stock broker or financial type, OR is just a super good looking Chad who has at least a level 3 type job. His win is mostly determined by whenever he decides to cash in his chips, but chick probably has to be a high 7 or 8, AND needs give him a massive dose of feminine attention and love, IF AND WHEN he decides to settle down.
The problem for Tomi and her friends, as well as for most women today, is that they’re all targeting level 4 and 5 guys, and they’re expecting the guy to commit on the basis of a level 1 guy, which is simply that they’ve fucked.
Because: those guys fuck. And if they don’t, chicks aren’t interested. The fact remains that if all you’re bringing to the table is pussy, it doesn’t go very far with guys who can get pussy.
In all my adventures in game over the past couple years (read the blog), I’ve met very few women who are offering more than sex.
#4–Feminine love and attention is the missing ingredient.
Ladies, here’s the deal: if you can’t be bothered to show the guy you care by actively investing in the relationship and offering more than your pussy, most guys aren’t going to stick around.
A common complaint by many of the players I’ve interacted with over the past few years since swallowing the pill, is that as the guy, we basically have to do everything. We approach the girl or match online, initiate texting, make the date request, plan the date, seed the pull, and if we see her again, it starts all over.
Now, I should state here, this is fine for the first date or two (men should make plans, as Tomi says), but once we’ve seen each other a few times, I expect more investment if you want my commitment. Hit me up randomly and offer to bring over a movie, or Chinese food; make me bread (hasn’t every chick perfected her quarantine sourdough recipe by now?) or cookies or dinner occasionally; surprise me by dressing up for a little role play; give me the odd hummer here and there–blowjobs used to be mandatory, but many girls today seem to think they’re optional.
And I should say, part of the above is my fault–I absolutely reek of a fast sex player, so I end up having a lot of one night stands and some fair portion of the chicks I fuck don’t stick around, because they never intended to. Totally fair on their part, but on the other hand, many of the girls I’ve dated over the past couple years DID want a relationship of some sort, but here was their strategy:
- Fuck me, often on the first date.
- Demand a monogamous relationship, usually on date two or three.
A lot of guys out there, if they’re being honest, are nodding right now. And the question remains, why would any guy commit given such a low level of effort on the part of the chick?
My guess is that for lower value guys–blue pill betas–this is enough, so chicks never learn to do anything more…and then after awhile, the guy starts simping so hard she ends up in bed with a guy like me.
This is why showing men that feminine love and attention is so important–it signals to us you’re not going to fuck the first swinging dick who comes along, which allows us to consider a more serious commitment. Without that, however, chicks are setting themselves up for disappointment: the low value guys they don’t ultimately want will stick around, and the high value guys will pump and dump.
#5–Hypergamy cuts both ways; yes, it’s bad for most men, but it’s also, in the long run, bad for women too, especially re: commitment.
Quick PSA: if you’re a “muh hypergamy” hater, get right the fuck out of here.
Because fact is, hypergamy is real, and it’s having a massive impact on the overall Sexual Marketplace (SMP). I’ve written and tweeted that I think it’s far more advanced than people realize–even Red Pill guys–and Tomi’s rant solidifies that observation.
You see, the tricky thing about trends and the general state of the world is that it often takes awhile for people to realize what’s happening, even after whatever’s happening is well underway. Take the 2008 financial crisis. On my old blog, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I predicted in 2006 that the market would crash and we’d have a recession, which we did, starting in late 2007-8.
How’d I know? Because housing prices were skyrocketing–not because these houses or properties were actually more valuable, or because people were making more money, but because people who shouldn’t buy houses were buying houses with loans on bad terms, and real estate agents and mortgage brokers were whipping the public into a frenzy of BUY NOW!
Quick economic point: the reason they call this phenomenon a bubble is that there’s no actual value to justify the prices at the top of the market, and at some point when the market realizes this, the “bubble” bursts, and prices fall.
Something similar is going to happen soon, regarding our current economy, as it’s been propped up by all kinds of money from the Fed as well as massive unemployment spending and small business loans…so the current state of the economy seems OK, but at some point, the lack of economic activity due to COVID, along with high unemployment, will catch up with us and cause it to crash–especially if Congress doesn’t get their shit together and start sending out unemployment checks ASAP.
In other words, the economy is lagging indicator–the massive decrease in GDP hasn’t yet affected the overall state of things–but it will at some point here in the future.
Hypergamy is similar: a lagging indicator.
Chicks who are hot and young don’t see the consequences, because they still have super high SMV and there are plenty of guys they can date. To the 7 in her 20s, the future is as rosy as ever and she has no reason to suspect that when she’s done riding the carousel, she won’t be able find a good guy and get married.
However, in the meantime, the market of “marriageable men” is shrinking, precisely because women are behaving so badly in the SMP.
As I noted earlier, the pool of HAWT, high status, high income guys have so many options–because of hypergamy–there’s no reason for them to marry; these guys are actualizing the ideal male mating strategy. And, if these guys are going to marry, it’s probably not going to be some ball-busting, super entitled chick like Tomi, who expects to be treated like a queen while acting like a brat. No, instead it’s going to be some sweet, young girl who works in his building, or an esthetician who wants nothing more than to adore him and make beautiful babies, that sort of chick.
I say hypergamy is a lagging indicator, because it takes awhile for this dynamic to play out. Women don’t realize hypergamy is a thing and that finding a guy who wants to settle down is really hard now, until they hit that magic age somewhere between 27-35 (Tomi is 27)–the epiphany stage Rollo has made so famous.
Likewise, the larger society hasn’t yet come to grips with the consequences of hypergamy–the fact that if you raise a generation of women to be entitled, masculine, and divorced from the feminine nature that allows them to give men genuine love and attention, not to mention no fault divorce and the fact divorce laws heavily favor women in court, men have precious few reasons to marry.
Additionally, SOD and social media have conveyed highly unrealistic expectations on so many women, that a large portion of men, say 50-60%, are simply out: too short, not handsome or fit enough, makes too little money, and all the other crazy demands you’ll see from 34 yo single moms on dating apps, etc.
The end result is a large number of women all chasing the same guys, and those same guys live in such a state of abundance, there’s no reason to settle down or get married.
Which brings us back to Tomi.
The craziest thing about this rant is that it comes just a little over three months after she broke off her engagement to a handsome rich dude. She had her chance to exit the SMP with a clear win: a high value guy who wanted to wife her up.
Instead, she rolled the dice and got back in the game. Now, unlike some, I won’t judge her too much for that. Maybe the guy was shit in bed. Maybe he was boring, too beta, too domestic. I honestly don’t know.
And Tomi is genuinely hot, so she’ll probably be OK if she wants to be. But it strikes me that so many modern women, particularly young women, are living life as if they’re the star of their own reality show and expect utterly devoted love and adoration for the mere fact of existing, without considering that going around calling yourself a “queen” doesn’t make you one, and declaring you’ll “never chase a man” doesn’t mean the ones you want will chase you, or settle down when you snap your fingers.
In other words, having “high expectations” doesn’t mean some guy out there wants to meet them, and it doesn’t increase a woman’s value. It just makes her more difficult and bitchy, which is never a good combination.
TL;DR–having a pretty face and a pussy between your legs doesn’t make you better than anyone else, and beauty isn’t nearly as rare as the attractive, high value men women want.
Bitches, welcome to the #metoo of hypergamy.