Sometimes I get bored and scroll through IG, which is usually a bad idea, because I know what I’m going to get, and while I like it from a visceral perspective, I don’t like what I see when I think about it any more than that.
You know what it is: girls taking pictures with their tongues out. Blatant ass shots. Blatant cleavage shots. Girls wearing short skirts or costumes or knee high socks or schoolgirl outfits or the like, but of my followers, mostly lots of bikinis and bras and underwear. At least 40-50% of these are selfies, and another 40% are staged.
There are really only three logical conclusions that can be drawn here:
- Chicks WANT to be objectified. They want guys to think they’re hot and they love showing off their bodies to the point of borderline pornography, sometimes spilling over into OnlyFans and actual amateur porn.
- Chicks are more physically narcissistic than men. If we could count the number of photos taken and number of social media posts involving a pic, I bet girls beat guys 4 to 1 or more, and of those pics, the ones taken by women are far more often of themselves, than say scenery or other stuff. Same is true of Tik-Tok and the stories function on IG.
- Chicks are addicted to sexual attention. Women have a massive desire for approval, adoration, and validation that they are attractive.
Now, this is simply biological–this isn’t me saying women are bad. After all, it makes perfect sense: women need to attention from men, particularly strong, healthy, attractive men, in order to get pregnant and pass on their DNA. So, given modern technology and society, it’s quite natural to see this expressed on social media.
The reason I note this here is twofold: 1) society at large doesn’t want to acknowledge these truths, even though it’s obvious, but more importantly, 2) modern women, because of smart phones and social media, don’t actually need to engage with men in real life to have any of these needs met.
Moreover, the irony of smart phones combined with social media is that at the same time they satisfy the sexual needs of women–the objectification, narcissism, and attention they require–they make them less inclined–indeed less able–to interact with men (or really, anyone), from having a simple conversation to going on a date to having actual sex with a real live man.
To what else can we ascribe the massive increase in flaking and ghosting? It’s been awhile since I read The Game, but I don’t recall the issue coming up all that much for Strauss or the others (please correct me if I’m wrong–like a good redpill man, I lent my copy to a guy just getting started). I mean, of course women have always been flighty, so it’s not as if this stuff didn’t happen pre-smart phone, but there’s also no doubt that flaking has risen exponentially since these technologies became a part of our society.
The consequences of smart phones and social media on female mental health and behavior.
We need to remember that people, however sophisticated, are just animals. And when you don’t train animals, or have any rules or means to restrain them, they behave…like animals.
Multiple studies show that when you put rats in an enclosed environment where they can push a button to get drugs or food or sex, they’ll keep pushing the button over and over and over, often to the point where they kill themselves.
This is, in effect, what happened when we gave people smart phones. It’s as simple as pushing a few buttons, and whether it’s an app, a game, social media, etc., they get a very small and yet potent chemical hit of dopamine. If you haven’t ever opened your phone to look at the screen for no good reason, almost as a reflex, congratulations–you’re probably less than 5% of the population.
To be fair, smart phones and constant internet access are problematic for men too, mainly because guys use them to access porn or play video games, both of which can become quite addictive.
But in truth, smart phones have a far worse effect on women, in particular because it gives them constant access to social media.
Now, there are a lot of problems with social media regardless of gender, but the negative effects seem to be particularly chronic among females. For example, professor Jonathan Haidt and other researchers have noted the massive rise in the number of teenage girls who say they experience anxiety, depression, and consider, attempt, or commit suicide.
And rates are rising over time.
What you’ll note is that if you compare the two graphs, the latter shows that we see the spike start in 2011, shortly after smartphones and social media become ubiquitous, and the former shows that the more time people spend on social media, especially girls, the more likely they are to report symptoms of depression.
Indeed, as I was looking into the research on various mental disorders related to anxiety and/or depression, this phrase kept coming up again and again: “women are twice as likely to be affected as men.”
Longterm effects of bad female behavior in the SMP.
There are a lot of reasons theses trends are concerning, but I want to focus on how these trends link back to what players are seeing in terms of flaking, dating apps, and beyond. The true question is what are the longterm effects on the SMP (sexual marketplace)?
What we’re seeing now are the initial results, which is that women, particularly young women, are super flaky, many unable to have normal relationships.
Quite simply because in the short run there are no consequences for bad behavior. A hot mid 20s chick can flake and essentially be no worse for the wear. There aren’t any social consequences, because flaking is so common and yet is still seen as a negative reflection of the person flaked on as opposed to the one who flakes. And if she wants to replace the attention she might have gotten from the guy she flakes on, she can strip down to her underwear, post a pic or story on IG, and reliably get all kinds of simps and other women telling her how hot and sexy she is. Plus, if she actually does want to go on date or have sex, she’s got Chads on Demand in the form of dating apps.
So in the short run, men are at a distinct disadvantage–even the Chads we talk about so much. Because as much as we think these guys are swimming in constant poon, is there any doubt chicks flake on them too? There shouldn’t be: it’s become quite clear that flaking isn’t a reflection on the individual guy, it’s a reflection on the chick–this has become a normalized and accepted pattern of behavior among women, again, because there really aren’t any short term consequences.
Now, obviously, it’s pretty hard to predict with great accuracy what will happen going forward, but let’s try, using some game theory, which is essentially thinking about how the behavior of one group will affect the behavior of others, over a period of time.
So the question we have to ask is: how does the massive rise in flaking, pickiness, and general squirreliness by modern women affect the men who pursue them?
One prediction I see quite a bit is that it will have no effect. Simps are gonna simp, the logic goes, and men, despite the SMP becoming much more difficult and hostile, will just continue their behavior: swiping away on dating apps and trying to hit on girls through social media–sliding in their DMs, as the cliche goes.
And this is entirely plausible. Just as women are biologically determined to get sexual attention from men, men are biologically determined to have actual sex with women–preferably as many as possible. So there may well be no longterm effect, or one so small that’s it’s irrelevant in terms of the overall dynamics regarding how men pursue women going forward.
However, there are a lot of reasons to believe that the increased difficulty of the SMP will lead to a significant change in male behavior:
- Anecdotally, we’re already seeing it. There are a lot of guys who’ve stopped using dating apps (I’m one of them–at least currently as I write this), and there are a significant number of men who are either involuntarily excluded from the SMP (incels) or have voluntarily left on their own (MGTOW). Keep in mind, there are guys in both of these groups who may not identify as such or realize that this is what’s happening, but the effect is the same.
- Some portion of men, perhaps quite a large percentage, will simply take what they can get. It may not be a great time to be a player, but there’s no question there’s never been a better time to be a fat chick. Put simply, a lot guys will hook-up with unattractive women, if attractive women are unavailable. Again, this is already happening. I recall a recent episode where, while having dinner with my sister, I saw no less than 5 couples on dates, and in every case, the guy was 2-3+ SMV of the chick he was with, a predictable result of SOD.
- What’s more, guys who are inclined toward a relationship will exit the SMP, either with attractive chicks who want marriage, OR with whatever they can get as above–read: fat chicks. We have to remember, the simping cope is real–yes, everyday more and more guys find TRP, but the truth remains that most guys are blissfully unaware, happy to get laid once in a while, and see no reason they shouldn’t get into a relationship with a girl far below his SMV.
- Even as younger women are inundated with male attention, older women are starting to realize the scarcity of their situation. Born between 1981 and 1996, Millennials are the largest generation in American society, 72 million strong, and with each passing year, huge numbers of women are hitting the wall (or the falls as I like to say). By 2025, more than half of this generation will be 35+. Now, they may still have super unrealistic expectations, but as more women start to realize the desperate nature of their situation re: having kids and/or a husband to journey with into old age, I have to think the competition for men heats up, which means we’ll see another portion of guys leaving the SMP, as at least some older women settle for what they can get.
- Young men are affected by the same negative aspects of smart phones and social media–not to the same degree of course–but they’re still far less likely to read, more likely to have social anxiety, and generally less comfortable interacting socially. The point, is that even if they’re good looking, a large number of younger guys won’t be able to do much with it, because they lack the confidence and game to be successful with women.
- I have to believe that the overall bad behavior by women in today’s SMP: flaking, ghosting, publicly humiliating guys they’re with on Tik-Tok, etc, has to have a negative effect on men pursuing women over time. You can get away with kicking a dog for awhile, but at some point if the abuse doesn’t stop, the dog stops coming when called and cowers when people come near. It’s not a perfect analogy, but for a lot of guys, given the incredible difficulty of the current SMP and the near constant experience of being ignored, flaked on, ghosted, etc., why not focus on sports or fishing or hunting or playing video games, especially when porn can fill in the need for sex?
A useful comparison is to think of the SMP as a video game. Now, video games are fun, partially because of the challenge, but also because one can make progress and ultimately win. Bad female behavior in the modern era has essentially put this video game on God mode, where only the most skilled players can win. And if you’ve ever played a game that is too hard or seems unbeatable, we all know what happens. Eventually, you quit and play a different game, because it’s not fun to lose constantly with very little hope of progress.
What we also have to remember is that most guys aren’t players–they’re just normal dudes. A question I’ve often discussed with a player who shall remain anonymous is that if it’s this difficult for redpill guys who are players, what is the experience like for an average guy in today’s SMP? It can’t be good, right? And these are guys who have no context in terms of understanding why; they just have an extremely difficult time with women, and they’re left with only two explanations for their experience: A) they’re not attractive to women, and/or B) women are jerks.
Additionally, as I pointed out in my ranting response to the Tomi Lahren video, in the long run, hypergamy is actually quite bad for women too, as there comes a point where men who are highly desirable start exhibiting the same shitty behavior we see from hot, young women today, for the same exact reason: they can and there aren’t any real consequences. After all, there are only so many guys who are tall, fit, and attractive with good jobs, which is why even today we see so many chicks complain that guys don’t want relationships.
Now let’s be clear: there are very few guys, unless they have access to an amazing social circle, who are going to have massive abundance with hot, young chicks, because hot, young chicks are simply too squirrely–unless, as I said, the guy has some very uncommon advantage, like owning a yacht, or being a DJ or rockstar or drug-dealer.
But again, recall the fact that most guys aren’t players who understand SMV. So if you take a good looking tall guy, who’s say, 37, he’s probably got his filters on Tinder set from 28-40 or something like that, and he’s got all kinds of chicks hitting epiphany matching with him, hoping for an LTR.
It also strikes me as likely that women, even younger women, will start targeting older guys more as the stigma of doing so wears off over time. One reason is simply that dating older men is just a better experience for women, because younger guys have always had less game and confidence, exacerbated in this generation by the antisocial effect of smartphones. The other is that it’s the only way for hot young chicks to truly match SMV, as their counterparts don’t have the wealth or status or gravity an older man can offer vis a vis their beauty.
Once again, I want to couch this in a bit of uncertainty: I could well be wrong. It’s possible that male simping and sex drive negates the disincentives for full participation in the SMP, in which case things will pretty much be the same.
But, as I said earlier, I don’t think that’s likely, so here’s what I think we’ll see:
- Over the next decade, there will be a marked decrease in the degree to which men are pursuing women, for reasons stated above. Of course, men will still pursue women, but the overall number of guys as well as the overall effort will ebb as so many men either exit the SMP in relationships, OR have bad experiences for which there appear to be no solutions.
- At the same time, we’ll see an increase in female competition for men. Now, to be clear, this will have the greatest effect re: the most desirable men, and will probably only affect the top 20% or so overall, because hypergamy is still a thing, and women, especially because of dating apps, will still perceive top guys to be in striking distance.
- Women on the margins–either less attractive or older women–will become far more aggressive in pursuing men in the hopes of securing a relationship, as the female hivemind starts to realize that relationships and high value men are far more scarce than the internet infinity fallacy might lead one to believe.
- The generally high level of female narcissism and thottery will decrease, as people become less enamored with spending time on social media. To be blunt, it’s boring, and I could be wrong here, but it seems to me that every day more and more people are realizing that social media is a waste of time and has negative effects on both individuals and society at large. Like, there’s going to be some quite large number of young people who basically fail at life because the only thing they can do is play on their phone, and no one’s going to pay them to do that.
- Flaking will probably continue apace, especially with young, hot chicks, because nothing we’ve discussed implies any short term negative consequences for this behavior, and while there may come a time where there’s less simping and fewer men participating in the SMP, hot chicks will still have an abundance of options.
What’s a player to do? Adjustments and strategies going forward.
OK, so here’s where the rubber meets the road: how do we fine tune our strategy as players to ensure regular sex and relative abundance?
First, it’s imperative to learn game and cold approach. Yes, the effectiveness of cold approach has waned with the popularity of dating apps and prevalence of flaking, but being able to talk to girls you meet via day game or night game is still a huge advantage. Sure, a lot of those leads will flake, but the fact remains that by approaching a girl in real life, you’re in a different category than guys she meets other ways, whether through the apps or social circle. With cold approach, there’s always a fun narrative, and chicks love a good story when it comes to meeting guys.
Second, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but guys should probably get on the apps from time to time. Now, as I’ve made abundantly clear on a consistent basis to the point where I’m sure I annoy people, I don’t think dating apps are good as they have a highly negative influence on the SMP. That said, it’s the most common way people meet anymore, and in terms of numbers, using dating apps gives you an exposure to a huge swath of women that’s impossible to replicate through cold approach or social circle.
In particular, I think the group to target here are actually older women. Because as this massive cohort of millennials starts hitting that epiphany phase in their late 20s/early 30s, they’re much more likely to come out because they’re serious about finding a long term relationship. Now, I suppose this is a bit Machiavellian, because if you’re a player, unless she’s a true unicorn, you’re not going to be offering what she’s looking for re: LTR or marriage.
That said, I don’t really give a fuck. The two lays I got from Bumble earlier this year were both women in this camp–early 30s–and as the red pill teaches us, sexual strategy is amoral. These girls didn’t give a fuck about flaking on guys when they were 24, so why should you care about pumping and dumping now that they’re “serious?”
A: you shouldn’t.
Those chicks had all kinds of fun when they were young and hot, getting attention on IG and fucking HAWT Chads–now it’s our turn. In truth, there is a consequence for being a super flaky chick, and this is it: at some point the power shifts, the attention and options dry up, and chicks find themselves fighting the clock as Father Time remains undefeated. As I said, however, this won’t impact the short term behavior, because no 24 yo hottie can conceive of this reality until she starts hitting the wall, and by then it’s probably too late.
Third, guys would do well to develop some sort of social circle that can kick up the occasional girl. RedQuest wrote recently about either throwing or going to parties, and he’s not wrong. So if you’re like me and your social circle isn’t vibrant/doesn’t involve women you want to date, it’s time to upgrade and figure out how to make that happen.
Fourth and finally, you absolutely need to be maximizing your SMV. As I said, I expect changes over time that benefit guys, but only the top 20%. So hit the gym, get your diet in order, and make sure your pictures on SOD reflect your highest value.
That’s quite a bit to digest, but I’m super curious what other guys think, so please let me know, either on Twitter or in the comments, where you think I’m wrong or what I’m missing. Because Lord knows I could be way off in my assessment, and the most important thing going forward is that we get as near the truth as possible. Look forward to those responses.
And as always, thanks for reading!