The manosphere is a great place to interact with other players and learn from manly men, but most of us know by now that there’s also a lot of garbage takes and chest thumping with very little value behind it.
And lately I’ve seen some things guys are getting hung up on that are crippling their chances of doing well with women.
One important note before we get any further: if someone is saying something that seems too good to be true, it’s probably because it is, and the guy is exaggerating or straight up lying. A big reason why social media is shitty is that there’s a HUGE incentive to make your life look a lot better than it actually is. So what you see on manosphere Twitter is a vastly overinflated and often dishonest version of what’s really happening–and if you take your cues from that, you might think that life is about constantly winning and banging bikini models, and for 99% of guys, that’s never going to be true.
TL;DR–life is hard. No one wins all the time. Not everyone is a rich God making millions on passive income. And consistently having sex with hot chicks is extremely difficult and rare.
And anyone telling you otherwise is lying, selling something, or more likely, both.
SMV Match–if you shoot too high, all you’re doing is wasting bullets.
As most of you know, I’m not a big fan of SOD, not necessarily because it can’t work–it sometimes can, especially for guys who are good looking and have good photos–but because it has a distortionary effect on the SMP.
For as we all know, on Tinder chicks can often match with +2 of their SMV, so they get a false sense of what their actual value on the market is regarding men, and many become pretty delusional if they do this, especially over time.
However, the same thing can happen to guys in reverse. Lord knows we’re constantly inundated with super hot chicks on social media, television, movies, porn, etc. But this doesn’t mean you can actually date that kind of chick in real life. This runs contrary to a lot of advice I see on TRP reddit and on Twitter, where guys say go for the 10s and/or claim to be dating super hot, young, and tight all the time.
Now understand, I’m not saying you should date 4s and 5s–which by the way, are the SMV of chicks most guys who claim great success on the apps are banging. After all, none of us got into game to fuck fat and/or unattractive chicks. What I am saying, however, is that guys need to be realistic.
For example, if you’re a guy who’s not fit and maybe not the best looking (say a male SMV 5), the odds of you dating a 19 yo chick who’s a 9 is extremely low. As in: it will probably never happen, even if you approach 10,000 of them. And in truth, until he gets his fitness together or has some other aspect of his life that boosts his SMV, he’s probably not going to get many 8s either, even if his game is fantastic. However, with proficient game, there’s no reason he can’t pick up lots of 6s and the odd 7 here and there.
Point here is pretty simple: be realistic. If you’re constantly going for +2 of your SMV, you’re going to have a damn hard time with women, because at the end of the day, as Rollo says: you can’t negotiate attraction. Understand, I’m not saying you shouldn’t try–if you’re out daygaming and you see that 19 yo 9, by all means approach her and run your game: at worst she’ll reject you and it’ll be a good learning experience. But, if you’re ONLY approaching super hot, young chicks–or even only swiping on super hot, young chicks–it’s going to be rough unless you’re a very good looking, high value guy.
Mistaking blue pill behavior for frame; negotiating relationships & being unreasonable.
Another mistake I see a lot in the manosphere are guys who expect women to behave like moral, logical people when it comes to sex and relationships.
Which begs the question: for fuck’s sake guys, have you not learned anything? I mean Jesus Christ, learn the lessons of the red pill. And if you’ve forgotten, relearn them.
Because women, when they choose guys, aren’t making a rational, reasonable, or moral choice. They’re making a choice based on feelz and attraction. That’s it. If they were making rational choices, supplicating nice guys who wear shitty polos and khakis with good jobs would be in high demand, the red pill wouldn’t exist, and none of you would be reading this blog right now, for the simple reason that you wouldn’t need to and I wouldn’t be writing it.
And yet, I continue to see guys asking way too much of the women they’re trying to game. Understand, as soon as you make something conditional for her–like she HAS to do something, or else–9 times out of 10 the chick is going to bounce. Again, if you put a girl in a position where she feels trapped or transactional, she’s not going to continue to come out. This is especially true early on in the relationship.
To be blunt, there’s a big difference between holding frame and being an asshole. Holding frame means you’re non-reactive, you pass her shit tests, you don’t put up with excess nonsense and bullshit. And you should absolutely be getting her to qualify to you and pass some compliance tests.
But if you expect her to submit to your every whim the instant you meet her, it’s not going to work. You can command a girl to crawl on all fours and suck your dick once you’ve established a relationship, but if you try that shit on the first date she’s going to leave and think she was sexually assaulted.
Here’s a good example, and I hate to pick on the guy because I don’t know him, but when you play the hero on Twitter, sometimes you get called out.
OK, so here’s the deal Bill: if you’re after Hot, Young, and Tight (HYT), guess what? They might not want to talk on the phone. Young girls are so used to doing everything via text, a phone call for many of them with a person they don’t know well is really scary. So if that’s the hill you want to die on, go right ahead.
But you’re burning leads and nuking your chances with a lot of girls who would otherwise come out. This is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. If you have unrealistic expectations a lot of girls won’t meet (no tattoos, doesn’t wear vans, calls her father every morning, is a virgin, reads 20 books a year, etc), and you then justify rejection by pretending you’re super awesome for having high standards, just remember, this is exactly the same frame fat girls have when they go to girls’ night and everyone asks who she’s been dating, “no one: so hard to meet a real man.” And you can tell yourself all day long how awesome you are–just like the fat girl–but in reality you’re a delusional idiot.
Yes, women are submissive, and they like to submit to a strong man…but first, you have to prove that you are one.
On a similar note, I see a lot of guys try to define the terms of a relationship way too early. First dates should involve three things: fun, sexual tension, and escalation (if you’re doing the two date model, then just focus on the first two). That’s it. Indeed, until you’ve had sex several times and/or hung out for more than a month, there should be zero discussion of the terms of the relationship–and SHE should be the one who brings it up, not you.
And sex should never, ever be talked about explicitly, nor should the girl EVER feel that it’s an expectation. She should WANT to have sex with you.
The reason guys should avoid all the above is quite simple: by asking too much of her, defining the relationship, or making it transactional, you are sub-communicating NEEDINESS and LACK OF ABUNDANCE–the greatest pussy repellents of all time.
Useful Heuristic: What Would Chad Do?
Sometimes, when I’m not sure what to do with a chick, whether texting or in person, I think to myself: what would Chad do? And then I do whatever I think that is.
For example, one of my old leads came back out of nowhere recently and sent me a text (Booty Girl–read the story if you’re curious). We chatted back and forth a bit until today, when I sent her a date request. As I noted on Twitter (above, with Bill’s faggoty response), she didn’t reply right away.
Now the blue pill thirsty beta or guy who’s transactional and needy is at some point going to double text her to find out if the date is on or off. Result: dry pussy and she probably ghosts or gives a polite excuse as to why she can’t make it.
But what would Chad do?
Chad doesn’t give a fuck–he’s doing other shit, and he knows if this chick doesn’t come out, some other chick will. He also knows he can get chicks and he’s not worried about getting sex, because he’s in a state of abundance. So he doesn’t worry about it. Hell, he probably forgets he even texted her and makes other plans.
Now, to be 100% honest, it’s been awhile since I’ve had sex (I blame COVID), so yeah, I actually am feeling kinda needy. I’d love to smash this chick. Tonight. And who knows, maybe somehow her chick spidey senses detect that even though I’ve give no indication in my texting. But I sure as shit don’t want to make it explicit by double texting, right?
Now, as it happens, she just replied that she can’t make it tonight, but suggested the weekend. Good. That means she’s interested.
But again, what would Chad do? A: nothing. Great, she got back to me, but I’ve already moved on with what’s going on tonight and tomorrow. I’ll text her back when I get to it…not sure when that’s going to be, because I’m writing this blog and have other things to do.
So look guys, I get it. Game is hard right now. I was chatting with Redquest earlier today and we both noted that there aren’t a lot of chicks on the market right now, and even less who are looking to just hook up for fun, sexy times.
But as hard as it might be with COVID and all the shit going on, don’t make it harder on yourself by forgetting the fundamentals.