One point some of the most experienced guys in game talk about consistently, from Mystery to Strauss to Krauser, Tom Torero, and Todd V, is having a “look” women find attractive.
A persistant argument within the game, Redpill, seduction, and even MGTOW and blackpill circles is how much looks matter. Obviously at the extreme ends you have some PUA purists who say that looks don’t matter at all–it’s purely about your frame/game–and then you’ll have blackpill guys say that all that matters is you SMV and game is bullshit.
I guess I’m a bit of a hybrid myself. To me it’s pretty obvious looks matter: a guy who’s 6’2″, jacked, and looks like Edris Elba is going to have a much easier time picking up girls than a guy who’s 5’6″, out of shape, and looks like a hobbit.
That said, if our Elba lookalike is a social retard who trips over his words, appears needy, can’t make direct eye contact, has a high squeaky voice, and can’t pass shit tests, whereas our hobbit is a slick ass player, I’ll take the latter in a day game competition.
So the truth is both matter.
The thing to remember, however, is there’s only so much you can do to change SMV, which is why redpill guys talk so much about lifting, diet, and fitness. The good news is that women don’t place as high a value on pure looks as men do, meaning that if you’re in good shape and have good style, it’s very hard for a guy to be below say a 6 or 7 in terms of SMV, and with good game, you can get to the point of being an 8 or 9, which hypothetically means some very hot chicks are in play.
Redquest has a good blog on fashion for players I would recommend reading first if this idea is new to you, but the basic takeaways for me are as follows:
- Clothes should be fitted. That doesn’t mean skin-tight, but baggy khakis, oversize sweatshirts, even poorly fitting suits aren’t going to cut it.
- Dark colors are better in general: think black, slate, gray, brown, etc.
- “Top-level goal is to look put-together and adult but also cool.”
- Accessories such as rings, necklaces, tattoos, wristbands, and other stuff are good as long as they make you look masculine, not childish.
However, beyond this, your style should roughly fit some version of what girls envision a “hot” guy looking like, and one of the ways you can do this is to try to embody an archetype. The reason an archetype helps is that it helps the girl get a sense of who you are without you having to say anything. She’s making assumptions about you, even as you’re assumption stacking on her, and the more quickly she can say: he’s this kind of guy, the easier it is for her to get to a yes or no, and ultimately get excited about the possibility of going on a date if it’s a yes.
Side note: Magnum has a really good post on general archetypes that has more to do with the role you’re playing with the girl, i.e. Artist, Rebel, Playboy, Daddy. Guys should think about where they fit in terms of the role they want to play and the one they can play effectively when choosing their archetype, so definitely read that post as well.
What follows here are specific looks guys can embrace–think surface level, clothes you’re wearing and general style.
By far the most popular look, especially for day gamers, probably due to Tom Torero. You know what I’m talking about: short hair, black or dark jeans, black leather jacket, necklace(s), maybe some tattoos on the neck or forearms, possibly a beard, dark glasses, etc.
The popularity of this look is both due to its simplicity and effectiveness. It’s a classic style going back to the 50’s or maybe even before, and it immediately gets the girl’s hamster spinning: is he in a rock band, does he have a motorcycle, has he been to jail? The look bespeaks a DGAF attitude and confidence, which if you can carry into the set, is huge for your success.
I think a lot of guys can pull this look off, but the real question is whether it fits your true character. If you’re presenting as the bad boy, but really you’re a mellow, nerdy type, that’s not going to be congruent to the girl and it’s going to fall apart pretty quick.
That’s a point to keep in mind when you’re picking an archetype: it needs to be congruent with who you are. Mystery dressed like a freak (for all we know he still does), but it worked because he kinda is…however, just because he wore a feather fucking boa to nightclubs doesn’t mean you can/should.
OK, Imma be honest: that guy looks like a fucking tool.
But that just because I think that doesn’t mean girls do. The hipster guy is often the subject of derision, especially in the manosphere, but there’s a definite style here and it’s an archetype chicks recognize, and for some, it’s quite attractive.
Hipsters typically have facial hair and tattoos, might wear hats or beanies, and choose clothes that are either vintage, rock band, or skater/counterculture type brands. I should say a sub-category is the lumbersexual, which is a guy who looks something like this, although I wouldn’t go quite this far in embracing the look:
Not to be too stereotypical, but these guys probably smoke pot, have record collections, and tend toward the liberal end of the political spectrum. To be quite honest, this is how I tend to dress (and though I’m not liberal anymore I can play that role well enough), although I keep it simple: skinny jeans, converse all-stars, and a fitted T-shirt. I also have a bad ass three-quarter jacket I wear during the fall and winter.
Another thing to consider here is growing your hair out if it looks good long. For some reason chicks love guys who have longer, curly hair–something I’ve exploited from time to time, although I’ve now cut it short again. In truth I probably present somewhere between the rockstar bad boy and the hipster, which is fine, because that’s very congruent to my personality.
That’s another good point: you don’t have to 100% fit into one category or another, but whatever style you choose should look smart and stylish.
GQ Older/Bond Guy
This guy looks like he’s pretty young, but otherwise his style is good: smart, original jacket, white shirt with no tie, open at the neck (quick rant here: guys, don’t fucking button your shirt up to the top–you look like a tool. Yes, LeBron James and other famous black athletes champion this style, but unless you’re LeBron, no. And to be quite honest, LeBron would look better if he didn’t do it either), nice pants, and everything fits well.
A lot of older guys would do well to adopt this style, as it sub-communicates to women you’re a successful man of means, and that is sexy in itself. If you’re also fit and well groomed, it will definitely turn heads. It reminds me of my recent trip to court, one of the few times this year I’ve had to dress like an adult. I went pretty basic: gray slacks and blue button up shirt with sleeves neatly rolled up to my forearms, black belt, black shoes, and a nice watch.
After, I went to get some lunch and do a little writing, and I was surprised at the amount of IOIs I got from chicks young and old–particularly the smoking hot hostess who took me to my table who was no more than 19-20 years old.
It reminded me that this is a good look, and one I may well transition to as I get older. A few points and options:
- Generally speaking, lose the tie. I mean, sure, if you’re wearing it because you need to dress up for business or the event, totally fine. But these days it’s more stylish to wear the button up and jacket, no tie, like the guy in the picture above.
- A jacket isn’t necessary either, especially if it’s hot outside. Here, if you’re sticking to this archetype, feel free to wear a plain, fitted t-shirt (white, red, black, or gray) with either slacks, or if the scene calls for it (say you’re in the Caribbean), go with stylish dress shorts.
- If you’re wearing a long sleeve, button up shirt with no jacket, roll up the sleeves–this accentuates your biceps and looks more stylish.
- Shoes are key. As RQ points out in his post, you can find fairly inexpensive dress shirts and t-shirts that look good; same is true for pants and shorts. But don’t cheap out on the shoes–get nice ones, and if you’re not sure which ones are nice ones, ask you sister or a girl you know to help you out.
Last point, and this may be controversial, but I only say it because chicks–especially white chicks–are racist (she may have posted a black square on IG, but that doesn’t mean shit in most cases): if you’re a black or brown guy, you may want to opt for this look over others. I mean, it probably doesn’t matter too much as long as whatever look you choose is smart and stylish, but if you’re wearing a jacket and dressed like a businessman, her stereotypes and fears (should) go out the window.
On that point: yes, your race and skin tone should factor into how you dress and what archetype you choose.
Now, lest you think I’m being unfair, here’s a style I’d suggest most white guys DON’T adopt, because it’s simply incongruent with how girls expect most white guys to dress.
I will also admit, I really have no idea how to advise guys to adopt this look, because I am a white dude and I honestly don’t know all the ins and outs of black style–but the guy above looks good. Think jewelry (chains, necklaces, earrings, rings), tats, sunglasses, accessories, and athletic gear.
Fair to say that this is definitely an archetype women are attracted to and will recognize as alpha. My guess is it’s also quite polarizing, as in some chicks will be all about it, and others won’t give you the time of day. Just remember, that’s not always a bad thing–I’ll bring up the quote again from Torero or one of his wings, which is that we’re not trying to get the girl to yes, we’re trying to get her to a decision.
So, 95% of the time, I’d say this is NOT a good look to go for, because there are simply a lot of negative associations right now with a guy who wears a cowboy hat, belt buckle, or dresses in camo. Unfair associations to be sure, but I didn’t make the rules guys, so don’t get mad at me.
That said, in certain parts of the US, particularly the Southwest, Midwest, and South–maybe some parts of the Mountain West–some number of chicks are super into guys like this. The other thing is that for many guys who live in these areas, this is truly their authentic lifestyle, so dressing in any other way would be incongruent.
So: Carhartt shirts and sweaters, blue jeans, wrangler button ups, white t-shirts, flannel and plaid button ups, boots or Romeos, that sort of thing. Also, this is the one archetype where I’d advise against much jewelry, but advise for getting tattoos.
This is another look I wouldn’t generally advise, but if you have the physique and it’s congruent with your lifestyle, go for it. But never forget: your value is your fitness. If you’re not super fit, this is not a good style, and if you are, you should be showing off your guns however you can. This is mostly going to be cut offs and stylish athletic gear, like Nike or Adidas, that sort of thing.
This seems like a good style for young guys, but once you get over about 22-23, you probably want to adjust to something that seems a bit more mature. However, if it truly is your lifestyle and it’s congruent with your character, well, as they say, you do you bro.
If you want tips, wander around your local high school or college campus, but we’re talking: ripped jeans, skater apparel, vans or converse or adidas, baseball hats, etc.
Final points on how to tune your archetype and stand out.
One of the reasons I think I got so many IOIs when I was dressed as the GQ archetype was that I had my sleeves rolled so chicks could see my forearm tattoos, and I still had my black plug earrings in.
So while I was dressed like your typical corporate type guy, there was still an edginess to my look.
And that’s a really important point: it’s good to adopt an archetype, but you also want to stand out. So whether thats with some extra necklaces, earrings, or rings, tattoos, an outlandish hat or jacket or shoes, you want to do something that sets you apart from other guys who may wear this style.
The simplest way is to wear clothes that fit well, as many guys don’t. You want her to see that you are fit and in shape and the only way she’s going to know that is if your shirt is tight enough to show some muscles, and she can see the shape of your legs in your pants. The final thing on this which goes back to the GQ look, is that your shoes matter. They should either be really nice dress shoes or really clean sneakers–if you can manage to keep white shoes white, that’s a big plus (think hipster, skater, hip-hop look).
Fair warning: I may have missed an archetype and/or missed key aspects of the ones I mentioned–so please correct me in the comments section below if you have stuff to add. If you’re truly lost, you might want to consider hiring a stylist or at least bringing your sister or a girl along to shop with you. Remember above all, the point isn’t necessarily to fit cleanly into one archetype or another, but to dress smart and stand out, and hopefully this post gets you thinking about that stuff.
Oh! And remember to dress for the occasion. For example, if you’re going to a country western bar, dress like it. Same thing if you’re going to a hip hop show–dress like it. Because in either case, the women who are there will be expecting that “type” of guy.