Earlier this week, one of my clients sent me a great podcast by Andy from KTIL. Definitely advise you to listen to what Andy has to say, and btw, he’s got great content over at Kill the Inner Loser, but the TL;DR is to give yourself “the permission to suck.”
My response is below. One of the great things about teaching game is that it makes me think through the process in different ways, and I get to learn too. So thankful for my students.
100%. Embrace failure.
It’s OK to suck.
I think I told you that one reason I’ve been able to get good fairly quick is that I played baseball, and baseball is a game of extreme failure. Hitters are Hall of Fame level good if they get a hit 3/10 times. Conversely, making the play on defense is so expected, and if you fail it’s such a let down, that you learn even big failures aren’t so bad. Like, it’s really fucking bad if you miss a ground ball–you just gave the other team four outs (or more) that inning. But you’ll still have a chance to win the game. Hell, maybe you’re the guy up with a chance to get a hit or drive in a run in the late innings.
And, here’s the thing: you don’t suck. I mean, I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass–you’re not great. But IMO you’re right where you should be. You’re talking to chicks everyday, you’re going out consistently, and you’re getting over the hardest thing, which is to go up to a stranger and talk to them, unbidden. That really is the hard part. If you can get over that, you can do the rest with some combination of rapport, teasing, and logistics. For you that’s the next step–and you’re starting to venture into that…
As I pointed out in our last call, you’re a HELL of a lot closer than you think. You’re right now doing what 99.9% of guys will never, ever do consciously or without a fair amount of alcohol or being stoned AND in the right conditions. You have huge balls for doing this in the first place…now you just need to take those final few steps. And you will.
The other thing is that you’re doing this in the worst time ever, maybe going back to the tribal era when you could basically fuck any chick in the tribe. Like, COVID and the media have the herd spooked–chicks are literally masked and scared of other people.
Compare that with normal times where you could go out in a hip area of town and walk from crowded coffee shop to full bar to a city park vibrant with chicks having picnics or out for a stroll–unmasked, and beaming that sexual energy, pale tight legs in skirts and jeans and booty shorts.
My God man that’s a glorious thing! And it will come back. Spring is going to be good–IMO, even without a vaccine. People are tired of this shit. And the chicks are getting horny.
Anyway, keep going. Keep approaching every day. And yes, Andy is 100% correct. Give yourself permission to suck. Hell man, for a long time I just talked to people at the grocery store–the clerks, the stockers, sometimes other shoppers. Even old men. Actually pretty fun. But I sucked. I sucked balls.
And then…I got better.
And then…I got laid.
Remember why you’re doing this brother: that sweet, sweet little peach. The willing body of a lithe young woman, long hair streaming over your chest after a lusty roll in the hay. Like, that’s why God put us on this beautiful earth, man! Own that sexuality.
Good work Saturday. Last question: are they doing the Macy’s Parade? Probably not, but if they are you should go. Chicks love that kind of shit–oh I met this handsome man at the Macy’s Day Parade…it’s a great story, lots of people, and you have the open already about the fucking parade.
I used to kill at those kinds of things before the fascist lockdowns.
Anyway, let’s chat again sometime this week or weekend.
Super pumped for this guy–he’s doing all the right things. If you’re interested in getting some help with your game, hit me up. You can DM me on Twitter or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
We’ll design a specific curriculum to help you accomplish your goals in game, from cold approach to dating to seduction and more.
In the meantime, good luck out there guys–and keep approaching!