Thoughts on looks-maxxing, being anon, and how women see the world.

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People like to bag on pick-up artists, and sometimes that hurts my feelings.

I mean, it’s in the name right: redpilldadpua on Twitter and Gmail–and If I ever get around to creating a Facebook account…

Nah.

Of course, then I remember the people who bag on PUAs aren’t fucking hotter, younger, tighter, and likely never will, OR are women who don’t like the idea that romance can be learned or gamified, OR are tradcons and ninnies (the old school term for a Karen) uncomfortable with any form of sexuality other than for the purposes of procreation.

And then there’s Andy, who’s also not a fan of PUAs, but who definitely does get laid consistently by HYT.

If you’re not familiar with his work, you should be–especially if you’re in the Game/RP community–because the man has and is continuing to kill it. He’s a living example of what you can do if you unfuck your life and put in some hard work and dedication. And my guess is that even he would tell you it’s not as if he’s some rock god or master of the universe–no, he’s just a guy who started out pretty average and leveled up the parts of his life that allow him to secure hot young chicks on a consistent basis. It’s not magic; just hard work and applied theory.

Anyway, his website Kill Your Inner Loser is fantastic, and lately I’ve been listening to a few of his podcasts–a project he just started this year, the goal of which is to do one podcast every day for an entire year. I bring this up for two reasons: the first is simply that you should go to his website and check out his content because it has helped me and a lot of other guys get better with chicks (like, I actually got laid a few times using his Tinder BDSM profile trick), and second, because he brought up some ideas in a few of his podcasts that are extremely interesting and deserve more discussion.

On Looks-Maxxing

For those who aren’t familiar with Andy’s story, he’s a disciple of Good Looking Loser and his approach to women is quite similar: work out, get super fit, learn to dress well, get good pictures of yourself, then go forth on Tinder and slay.

In other words, at its base his approach is black pill: be good looking; don’t be bad looking. And I want to stick on this point for a moment, because there’s an inconvenient truth out there that a lot of guys–particularly PUAs–don’t want to admit, which is that LOOKS REALLY DO MATTER (which is why Andy went off on PUAs in his podcast for good reason IMO).

Like, if you’re a fat schlub who dresses poorly, rarely showers, and doesn’t groom himself (shaving your neck hair, keeping your beard trimmed, cutting your nails, zapping nose and ear hair, possibly shaving or trimming chest and other body hair, etc.), you’re going to have a damned hard time attracting women, and that’s as it should be. No 21 year old hot chick wants to fuck a middle aged or older man who’s hairy and out of shape. It’s gross. And this is one thing that always bothered me to no end about both men and women when it comes to dating: people think they should have lovers who are SIGNIFICANTLY more attractive than themselves–especially true of women who use OLD and are constantly trying to lock down guys who are +2 of their SMV.

So TL;DR–if you want to fuck people who are hot, you need to be hot. One of Andy’s best observations is the fact that if you get to the point of having very low body fat (can see abs, defined arms, etc.), there’s a next level of attraction you can get to–where girls will actually LUST after you. And I have to admit: my best run in game, from September 2018 to September 2019 (something like 30 notches, 95% from cold approach), came when I was in the best shape of my life. The fact is it’s just a lot easier to pick-up chicks if they can see veins popping out of your biceps, a chiseled jawline, and that big shoulder V-cut we should all be striving for as men.

Now the caveat: women aren’t as shallow as men and find other things like personality and status and wealth to be sexy. Status and wealth are up to you, but this is where GAME comes in, and particularly where cold approach, or pick-up, is a useful thing to know. And to be fair to Andy, he’s not entirely black pill–his point is simply that if you’re not in really good shape and don’t dress well, you’re not going to do well with chicks no matter how tight your game is. Because LOOKS MATTER (our own BLM).

Perhaps a useful analogy is a football team (American).

Looks are the overall size, speed, and talent of the team. Think Alabama and the SEC in general. Their guys are just bigger and faster than the guys on most of the teams they play, so they dominate.

Game is your creativity in offensive/defensive schemes, play-calling, time management, having a QB with moxie, etc. Think Oregon under Chip Kelly, or Texas A&M with Johnny Manziel–a big part of their success was having better strategy than other teams, because they knew they couldn’t win on size and speed alone.

The point here is that a team who’s low on the former (looks) can still win some games using trick plays, misdirection, taking chances, and/or simply getting a bit lucky (game)–sometimes against teams who are quite a bit better than they are from a raw skills/size/talent perspective.

But when there’s a significant disparity between one team and another in this respect, the team with less physical prowess and ability is going to have to thread the needle for almost the entire game to win, whereas a team like Alabama can just run the ball with a massive O-line, have speed at the skill positions, and rely on a defense that injures people because they’re all going to play in the NFL eventually.

Now, think of a really hot young chick: a 22 year old busty brunette who’s got 2k followers on IG and is a solid 8 in all respects. The chances you’re going to purely game your way into her panties are extremely low, and damned nigh impossible if you’re don’t have a somewhat attractive appearance. However, if you’re a guy in his 30s (or 40s–maybe even 50s if she likes older men) who’s in great shape, has good fashion sense/style, and an attractive lifestyle, etc.–well, now you’ve got a shot.

But you still need game. Because there are lots of guys in her orbit who are really fit and good looking–and likely much closer to where she’s at in terms of social circle/culture. Like, you’re not on SnapChat or Tik-Tok, are you faggot?

Side note: I kid–I actually think Snap can be used for game and I have fucked one girl I closed via Snap–Yoga Girl–but generally speaking, we want the phone number. As for Tik-Tok I have no idea, but from what I’ve seen it seems really fucking stupid.

Tom Torero (who’s disappeared again) has a saying that looks are an opener, but I’ll go one step further: looks are a bulwark–a blunt object who’s power or potency is obvious, and therefore extremely compelling. However, unless you’re dating below your level, looks alone won’t get you laid, or at least, no more often than the average guy.

No, to go next level you need cold approach skills, frame, dating strategy, and the ability to escalate and seduce the girl–you need tactics and strategy. Being the good looking dumb jock will only get you so far…to bring this full circle, you’ll notice that Nick Saban (coach of Alabama) has changed the offense to a more creative, aggressive scheme, because being bigger and faster alone no longer works.

The other point here is that we’re all limited in some way. As I tell my clients, there’s stuff we can’t change. For example, I’ve got a kid. There are some chicks who won’t date me because of that fact alone. But I can’t change that, so it is what it is–and that’s true whether you’re old, young, ugly, short, Asian (I bring this up because chicks are often quite racist, and particularly against Indian/Asian guys, although black guys probably get some of this too), etc.

On the bright side, however, whatever number of chicks won’t date you because of those reasons, it’s probably much smaller than you think–I used to be super worried about chicks knowing about my son, but found out pretty quickly that most of them didn’t give a fuck (and for the tiny number of those who did, fine with me: to my mind, anyone who doesn’t like children is a garbage human being). We live in a society where people have been told that all that matters is their identity, which is an incredibly toxic idea for the simple reason that it’s mostly not true. Your race, height, looks, etc. do not tell the story of who you are or encompass your character–and anyone who says otherwise is a bigot.

Do those things matter? Sure they do. Like, if you’re in your late 50s or 60s, it’s going to be very difficult to game chicks under 30–that’s just the reality. It can be done, sure, but it’s never going to be super common. That said, a guy in his 60s can probably still do quite well with chicks in their 30s and 40s if he’s super fit and has good game and a fun lifestyle.

So guys have to be realistic, and you need to factor in your looks, height, age, etc., when considering what level of girls you can/should target. If you look like Quasimodo, there aren’t any special tricks I or anyone else can teach you that’s going to enable you to fuck 18 year old Victoria Secret models. What I’d tell you is to go see a surgeon.

So yes, you should absolutely max out your look. Get as fit as you can, particularly with low body fat to Andy’s point. Dress with style. Take care of your grooming. And if you’re using OLD, yeah, you need to get the best possible pictures you can get–probably why it hasn’t been a great source of women in my case, even if I’m able to get one here or there.

But looks alone are a blunt instrument, and if you want to truly maximize your value as a player, you HAVE to learn game, and in particular, cold approach pick up.

Anonymous for the most part isn’t a choice–it’s a matter of survival.

I forget which podcast it was, but at some point Andy went off on guys who are anonymous or don’t post proof of their lays. To his credit, Andy has all kinds of proof of what he’s doing–and good on him for that. There are a lot of frauds in the PUA/Red Pill culture precisely because of the fact so many of us are anonymous, and the nature of sex is that it’s an act where there’s no proof after unless you can find a chick who voluntarily wants to have her picture taken and posted on a website for all to see. It’s very easy for guys to claim getting laid when they in fact don’t, and there’s a lot of snake oil sellers out there who promise naive guys trying to get laid that they have a secret easy formula that works every time, when no such formula exists, or will ever exist.

But here’s the deal: I would LOVE to post pics of the girls I’ve gamed. I’d love to post pics of myself. I’d love to NOT be anonymous and to just say who I am, for I am neither ashamed of what I am doing nor willing to apologize for it.

Problem is, if I did any of that, I’d lose my job (currently working on a way to replace that income so that I CAN reveal who I am and post photos, etc.), and so would most of the other guys who remain anonymous as bloggers or on Twitter or reddit. Like, the Western World with our COVID panic and “wokeness” fascism is not a place that looks kindly on men trying to get laid–indeed, some extremists think male sexuality is itself an expression of violence.

Absurd, but true, and the fact is most guys simply can’t risk revealing their identity without facing massive consequences for their family and/or career. So, while I understand Andy’s perspective here and his frustration with guys who are anon–and I share his anger at the assholes who see Game as an opportunity to trick guys out of money as opposed to actually helping them–to say that any guy who won’t post photos of his chicks or reveal his photo and name is a pussy is to be ignorant of the realities that face people working in the corporate world or public sector. So basically almost everyone. In point of fact, a close friend of mine was investigated for almost two years and recently sanctioned for writing a blog about game–and he was anonymous!

So the threat is very real. And it’s scary. The Freedom of Speech may be enshrined in the US Constitution, but it doesn’t mean shit anymore. Now, unlike a lot of guys in the manosphere, I’m actually pretty optimistic the whole fascist “woke” movement is going to collapse on itself because the underlying logic is self incriminating and invariably, any living human is going to eventually run afoul of the rules of anti-racism (code for racism against white people…oh, and Asians now too, and black men–basically, anyone who tries hard and is smart), and when the last trans-fucking-unicorn star-shine says a naughty word and has to self immolate, no one will be left of The Elect and people will realize this is no way to organize our society.

But we’re not there yet. Until then, I’ll be anonymous for very good reasons–and I’ll bolt and delete everything at the first sign I’ve been doxxed.

That’s not being a pussy–it’s called being smart, and practical. Oh and by the way, if anyone wants to guarantee my salary for the next 5 years, I’ll say who I am as soon as the money is in my bank account.

How Women See the World

“Everything is going to be OK.”

Andy points out that chicks love hearing this phrase–and he’s 100% spot on.

The question is why?

The answer is that it absolves them of the responsibility to make it so–and this, in my opinion, is the biggest underlying problem modern society faces regarding gender and equality. Because women are told this, and the following, constantly–even in stupid wokeness 2020–from the time they’re little girls to the time they’re well past the wall:

  • “Everything will be OK.”
  • “It’s not your fault.”
  • “Don’t worry, we’ll fix it.”
  • “You’re beautiful.”

Now, here’s the thing: in the 1950s or 60s when women mostly got married or were secretaries or school teachers or nurses, there wasn’t really anything wrong with this–because society had in place a protector role to make sure that the above phrases would be for the most part true. Someone–whether her husband, church, parents, son, or older matriarch of the family–would indeed step in to make sure that everything would be OK. And that was only fair; she was never been given the autonomy to manage her own affairs, so it made sense to have some sort of guardian figure or group take this on this responsibility.

Fast forward 60 years and guess what: we still tell women these things, but we’ve removed the safety net. Moreover, we’ve removed the guardrails women used to have in place for decision making purposes. Anyone else see the problem here? We’ve given massive amounts of autonomy and responsibility to half of society while giving them the false assurance that no matter how bad they fuck up, no matter how bad their choices: “everything will be OK.” That post wall, unmarried and childless, “you’re beautiful,” “it’s not your fault,” and best of all: “don’t worry, we’ll fix it.”

But in this case, who’s the “we?” Who’s going to make things OK?

No one…or the government, I guess?

And if it’s not her fault, who’s fault is it?

A particular man, or men, generally.

And if she’s not beautiful, how do we square that circle?

We redefine beauty using terms like “body-positivity” or “fat-shaming,” or claim that women can be just as beautiful at 60 as they are at 20.

We pretend and pretend.

But the underlying issue remains, which is that women generally speaking DO NOT take responsibility for the condition of their lives or the consequences of their decisions; at least, not nearly in the same way men do–a fact that Andy notes in the podcast, saying that unlike women, men don’t want to hear: “everything’s going to be OK.” And why? Because we know all too well it’s not true. Men know that the only way things are going be OK is if we make it OK.

Now, I don’t think we’re going to rewind the clock here and go backward, nor do I think women are incapable of managing their lives–but society needs to drop the whole “everything is going to be OK” schtick and explicitly teach women to take responsibility for their lives and choices, good or bad, instead of offering the assurance that some magical force is going to fix things.

Because it’s won’t.

I believe in God, but I also believe that God gave us free will and expects us to manage our own affairs. Point is: no one’s coming to the rescue–a fact a lot of post wall women and single moms are going to learn soon enough, but all too late.

***

That’s all for today gentlemen. Thank you to Andy for providing such great content and prompting these thoughts, and thank you all for reading, especially those who comment on the blog or on Twitter and enjoy the content.

If you want to work on game, redpill, cold approach, dating, etc., I’m available as a teacher and am having a great time working with my clients. Hit me up on Twitter or email me at: redpilldadpua@gmail.com and we’ll figure it out.

Also, if you like the blog and want to show your support, consider becoming a sponsor on Patreon. If, like Andy, I can figure out a way to make money writing and teaching game, perhaps I can drop the anonymity at some point.

For now, this is RP signing off–hoping that in 2021 I can once again start saying, truly: there has never been a better time to be a player.

14 comments

  1. Great post. You are consistently putting out some of the best content in the “Red Pill” blogosphere. Some thoughts, comments, questions…would love to get your feedback and experience.

    Regarding “looks”…I have been utterly surprised and baffled by the difference in say women in their 20s vs women north of 40, and I’m curious if your take is similar or my sample size is just too small.

    So, I’m 46, 6’3”, pretty jacked, and routinely pass for early 30s. How do I know this? Presently, I work as an Uber driver (trying to resurrect my career after an implosion) and so I constantly have young women as passengers on the weekend. I’ve got an entire script I run around “guess my age”. I’m often told I am very good looking by female passengers. My only point in mentioning that is this isn’t just my own self-assessment but based on lots of third party feedback. Twice this summer, I picked up female passengers, one late 20s very hot, and another early 30s and ended up back at their place after the ride. The early 30s gave me a blowjob…she was on her period. The late 20s I ended up fucking after less than 50 words exchanged with her, it was actually 2 girls and most of my convo was with the other, and then she left me with the other I had barely talked to. While we were fucking she kept telling me how hot my body was which was quite something considering I am 46.

    In contrast, this summer, I fucked 2 women both north of 40, one on date 1 and the other on date 2, one off Tinder and the other off Coffee Meets Bagel, but here’s the weird part, in both cases I needed to do an enormous amount of reassuring to them about their bodies and that I found them attractive, and they were insecure about their bodies relative to mine whereas with the two younger women picked up on Uber rides they were NOT insecure at all and to my estimation seemed much more turned on by my looks than the two who were over 40. In a sense, with the 40+ crowd, it almost seemed like a drawback. I had another 40+ recently, 4 dates, and on the 4th date I thought we were going back to her place to have sex, and she said something like “I don’t know, if I had a machine to build a guy he would look like you, but something is just missing, I’m just not feeling sexual desire towards you”. Granted, my Game probably still needs lots of improvement, after being out for many years in an 11 year relationship that was divorce #2.

    But it’s just bizarre to me. I would have thought intuitively that 40+ would be like shooting fish in a barrel since I figure I look much better than most of the same aged male competition whereas there are probably alot more guys in their 20s in good shape, etc. I’m just trying to make sense of this, and I am increasingly concluding that women who are over 40 simply are not as turned on sexually by male looks, and at least my limited sample size also indicates they seem to be less sexual in general. Any thoughts on this?

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    1. First, older women are just more of a pain in the ass in general. From what I’ve seen women have an extremely hard time not allowing past experiences to affect how they behave, so the older a woman is the more past relationships are weighing on her decisions and or sex drive–they can’t just treat a new guy as a new guy; somehow he has to make what has happened with the last guy, or with other guys OK.
      Perhaps more to the point, older chicks aren’t able to just have NSA sex–they know the clock is ticking and they want commitment generally speaking. And they AREN’T as confident, because they shouldn’t be: no chick, assuming a similar level of fitness starts looking better after 18-20. NONE. So they’re not as assured of their sexual appeal, which is why being more attractive on your end hurts your chances. I’ve had a similar experience, where older, less attractive chicks will reject a cold approach from me, but younger and hotter are all about it. This is especially true if you’re throwing off “player” vibes, or presenting as the “lover” not the “provider.”
      Along these lines, I think part of the turn on for older women shifts from just sheer sex appeal to who you are and what you can do for her.
      For these reasons, I tend to avoid older women as much as possible. Juice isn’t worth the squeeze, especially given that they’re not as hot in the first place (mostly).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. For these reasons, I tend to avoid older women as much as possible.

        Thanks for the reply

        Isn’t this tricky on OLD though? I rarely match with women under 30 since I’m 46, and at least half of those especially on Tinder are looking for Sugar Daddies..fuck that…someone can be my sugar mama lol. I did just see an article on Andy’s site where he basically says to lie about your age so you can match with younger women. I guess I’m pondering that, setting up new Tinder and Bumble accounts where I go with maybe 36.

        If you get a chance, I’m still interested in a breakdown of your cold approaches of basically night bar approaches vs daytime casual approaches. I’m just trying to figure out which lake I should be fishing in the most. When I first got back into the game after my divorce in fall 2017, I thought I would clean up in OLD, and I’ve been surprised just how poor it has been, but combine what you’ve said about older women above with the fact that OLD I think fosters hypergamy on steroids and the illusion of unlimited choice, and I guess it makes sense

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    2. I’m 54 and in a similar position. Older women are intimidated by hot older guys. Not all of them, but most of them. This is especially true if you have money/status. Basically, they perceive your value to be too high relative to theirs.

      So, you need to run comfort game. You can’t just tell them that you think they’re hot, you have to do little things with actions/facial expressions.

      Like

  2. And I have to admit: my best run in game, from September 2018 to September 2019 (something like 30 notches, 95% from cold approach)

    I’ve got to work through this hangup on cold approach. Right now, I’ve only been meeting women through OLD or as Uber passengers. I’m curious on the cold approach, was that all or mostly Night Bar approaches or also Daytime approaches. My issue is at my age of 46 I basically have no same age friends to go out to bars on a Friday or Saturday night since they are all married with kids or scattered throughout the country. So I’d have to go out solo which I probably just have to grow a pair and do it. But I’m curious do you routinely go out to bars at night solo? Is that where most of the notches came from?

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  3. I somewhat agree with Andy (and Krauser, and others who have made the same point) that making claims without posting proof is kind of bullshit, and for that reason I have said publicly, “Don’t trust what I write… go out and try it for yourself.” Yoylo has done so and gotten some pretty decent results, although most of what he’s said is on twitter, not a blog… https://yoylo.com/2019/11/26/mfm-threesome-with-puppy-and-black-ring. I don’t remember what else he’s specifically posted publicly, so I’ll say no more.

    Coming out and posting proof is like a woman who comes out as a sex worker. She is upping her credibility… but she is also restricting her future employment and mating opportunities. I’d rather have lower income but current employment + mating opportunities. The man-improvement world looks to me like there’s little money in it, https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2020/11/09/theres-no-money-in-it/, although I’d be happy to see you prove me wrong… I was wrong about Tinder and would be happy to be wrong about this.

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    1. I struggle with the aspects of not posting proof quite a bit, especially because so many things in game are unbelievable–unless you yourself are in game and have done some of this stuff. I guess the question for me is answered by the fact that I know what I’ve done is real, and if I can help other guys benefit by writing about it, then doing so is better than not doing so, despite the issue of credibility.
      Also, did Mystery post pics of his girls–or Strauss? Was The Game all a big lie–did he really get Paris Hilton’s number? I’m not trying to compare myself to those guys, but just pointing out the fact that we were taking them at their word, AND to your point: it works. Those of us who’ve tried these things know it works from experience.
      Which is why I’ll steal your line here RQ: if you don’t believe me, go try it out and see if it works. Steal MY lines. Use my methods of escalation. Read my first date lays and do the same shit. Try to pull a girl into the bathroom and fuck her. Go to Whole Foods and hit on chicks. And remember…I’m merely standing on the shoulders of giants myself. I wouldn’t know how to do this without Mystery, Strauss, Krauser, Torero, Todd V, RedQuest, Magnum, Nash, RSD, Mr. V, and others. And I continue to learn from guys doing this now. Indeed, I learn a lot from my students.
      And ultimately, if guys think I’m lying, they should find someone else’s blog to read…but the fact is society has never liked libertines, and if you value my writing and contributions, for now I can’t post–it’s awfully hard to game chicks out of a cardboard, begging for food. Again, would love to be able to make money doing this, and I’m trying, but for now it is what it is.
      The last thing I’ll say is that at least I describe full experiences and thoughts about what is going on in detail instead of tweeting pictures with green lines drawn on them, bullshit platitudes (“your frame is all there is”), or obvious statements that any moron could come up with, as we so often see in this space–all with zero proof and zero action. I cannot possibly capture how much disdain I have for those guys in the Red Pill arena, for the fact that they tweet not to help guys, but to pad their own egos.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Despite what TRP preaches about self improvement (which is valid), I would go as far to say looks are the most important aspect in attraction. I don’t know any women in real life dating guys shorter than them. I’m an Asian guy and 90% of the girls I have banged have been Asian women. Its not for the lack of trying with other ethnic groups either. The fact is your look especially your race is going to primarily attract women of the same race. White guys have more versatility in this area because they don’t have to deal with as many cultural barriers. However, I still believe the rule applies. I would guess, RPD, you have primarily banged white women.

    I’m not a fan of PUA/TRP dating coaches because they seem to ignore this fact when science/studies back it up. Yes, interracial dating is rising, as it went from 5% to 15% in the past 2 decades. Yet, there is still implicit bias against it in partner selection.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Height and race are quite important but I’d like to point out that the majority of my cold approach lays (both in the USA and abroad) have been taller than me. So it can happen. My open:close is not very high for someone who has made 1000s of approaches, however…

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    2. I can give at least 2 more prominent daygamers who are Asian and smasing it with white chicks (search them on twitter or google):

      Seven Daygame (A 160cm French-Asian daygamer regularly banging Russian hotties)
      Lee Cho Daygame (British-Asian, smashing it in his Asian home country as well as in the UK with white girls and black)

      Like

      1. Eh, Russian white girls don’t really count because they’re Eurasian. Kazakhs and Uzbeks (also other various Siberian Asian tribes) have integrated interracially with Russians. I’ve had two white girlfriends and one was Russian.

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