Sex positivity, and why single dads are different than single moms.

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I LOVE SLUTS!

Just wanted to make sure I made that clear after the previous post on why prostitution will never be normalized or fully accepted, even if it’s just a chick selling her ass on OnlyFans.

Hell, let’s start there: the key distinction between a “slut” and a “whore” is that a slut has lots of sex for free–because she wants to. Because she likes fucking. And to me, that’s a great and glorious thing. I love sluts, and sometimes they love me back.

It also strikes me as really strange that so many in the manosphere and game community freak out about a girl’s n-count…I mean, aren’t we sluts in our own right? I am, and I honestly don’t spend any of time or energy thinking about how many guys the girls I date and fuck have been with–I just want us both to have a good time, and more importantly, great sex. Guys sometimes forget: most chicks love to fuck, especially if they’re into the guy and turned on properly.

So for all the girls out there willing to have one night stands, fuck on the first date, rack up some numbers anytime they travel, or do some kinky shit in the bedroom–God bless you. I’m looking forward to meeting as many hot sluts as I can the next few years, especially as we uncork from the Rona.

In contrast, a chick who’s selling her ass on OnlyFans or working as an escort isn’t doing what she’s doing because she likes sex–she may like sex, or be a chick who skews slutty–but she’s doing what she’s doing FOR MONEY. As I note in the original piece, once a chick goes down that road for say, more than a few months–begins to live and rely on the money she earns as a hooker or cam girl or selling nudes–she’ll undergo a change in her basic psychology where she HAS to get money for sex. Like, even when she wants to fuck a guy just because she’s attracted to him, she’ll still end up looking for an angle to get money out of him, whether it’s getting him to buy her stuff, or use his car, give her drugs and alcohol, etc.

I learned this pretty early on with a stripper (I’m not opposed to sleeping with sex workers of course–which shows you how slutty I am) I gamed back in 2018 at the beginning of my journey–indeed, she was the girl where I realized: wow, I’m actually pretty good at this. Like, I’m a true player. Her shit testing on our date was off the charts. She threw fits, pouted, left to go do coke in the bathroom at a strip club she used to work at, then proceeded to get us kicked out…and somehow, at the end of the night, I got her back to mine and even then she’s like: we’re not having sex. OK, so I rolled over, and then not 30 seconds later, guess who’s pussy is grinding on my hip?

The sex was good, the game was good, and we had a cool connection. She even liked my book and liked what I let her read of the one I was working on at the time but hadn’t yet published. A smart girl to boot, and I would have been totally down to see her again (knowing what I know now, she would have been a perfect girl to take to a sex club ala RedQuest game)…but that never happened.

Why?

Because she couldn’t get any money or favors out of me, and once she figured out I wasn’t a super rich guy who was going to wife her up, she moved on. And that’s how strippers, sex workers, and hookers work once they’ve gone down the path of using their sex to make money–they have a very hard time viewing sex as something that can or should be done without a connection to wealth or provisioning.

This is also why there’s not much of a difference between a prostitute who actually has sex with guys and a chick on OnlyFans who just masturbates in front of a camera or sells nudes–or a sugar baby for that matter. Because at the end of the day, she’s still using her pussy for money, and thus the connection between sex and money is created and embedded in her psyche and relationship to sexuality.

That’s the moral hazard that exists with prostitution, and why I feel bad for all the young chicks who are now trying their luck on OnlyFans to make a cheap buck, trading away the opportunity for love and children and some sort of career down the line, to sell sex for money; a short-lived career of objectification and depravity.

And let’s also remember: the kinds of men who regularly pay for OnlyFans, cam girls, prostitutes or frequent strip clubs aren’t generally speaking, high quality men. They’re lonely, sad, often addicted to substances, or young guys who behave more like boys than men–and because they’re paying for the chick’s services, they don’t really respect her either. In other words, the life of 95% of sex workers isn’t exciting or glamorous or honestly all that lucrative…it’s just sad and degrading.

And this is why most chicks won’t do it, and why those who do will always be looked on by society with a mixture of pity and disgust–also why, while there’s nothing wrong fucking sex workers (preferably for free), you DO NOT want to get into an LTR or marry these chicks.

Why single dads and moms are different in the SMP.

Note: I have a kid, so if you want to just tell yourself I’m biased and that what I say below is bullshit, go right ahead. Also, Turk has a good post on how to think about dating single moms that you should definitely check out, broken down by whatever age bracket you fall into.

Now as we all know, single moms are the object of tremendous derision and scorn in the manosphere–TBH, more than is warranted. One of the things we should always keep in mind is selection bias, and in the Red Pill community–by it’s nature–there are a lot of men like me or Tim Hicks or Rich Cooper and others who’ve been burned by divorce, and a lot of other guys who’ve just had horrible experiences with women generally.

But what we have to remember is that the reverse is true as well: a lot of single moms got divorced because her husband was a deadbeat, drunk, drug addict, or some other version of asshole who’s not a good guy to have around women and children. There are a lot of problems with modern marriage, but if you want to boil it down to its essence, there are three basic dynamics at play:

  1. Women today aren’t loyal and don’t provide reliable value to their husbands.
  2. Men today aren’t strong and don’t provide reliable leadership for their wives.
  3. Almost everyone is too damn fat.

Another way to look at it is that there’s not enough polarity in most modern marriages–show me a happy couple and 9/10 times I’ll show you a man who’s fit, has his shit together, and is productive and dominant, and a woman who’s fit, submissive, and does a lot of the domestic duties and childcare.

But I digress–the point I want to make here is that in the SMP, there’s a massive difference between a single dad and a single mom.

To begin, most moms place their children at the center of their world and IDENTITY (or at least tell themselves that’s what they’re doing). Perfectly natural and warranted, but this means that everything she does is done for the sake of the children, or with the them in mind, or whatever her idea of responsible mom-type behavior looks like. In other words, motherhood is a deep, integral part of her identity as a human being.

For men, this just isn’t the case.

Now, I want to be clear: in terms of priorities for the humans in my life, my son is still #1 and it’s not close. But not everything I do is predicated on our relationship, nor is the whole of who I am defined by my being a father. So whereas I think most single dads, like me, would say that their kids are the center of their world, it does not encompass our entire identity as men.

It recalls some advice one of my fraternity bros gave me once about women, and I think it definitely applies to children too, or at least the way men think about their children: “When you’re with her, be 100% present, be who she needs you to be. But when you’re not with her…you’re not with her.”

Maybe the best way to say this is that the frame is different. For anyone who’s dated a single mom, you know that in the first 10 minutes of the date she’s going to mention her children–maybe even talk about them quite a lot. And if you have a relationship with a mom, you’re going to hear tons about her kids and eventually be expected to meet them.

In contrast, when I go on dates, I often don’t mention my son at all–not because he’s not important to me, or because I’m trying to hide the fact I have a kid, but because I don’t care if he’s important to her. Indeed, unless she’s around for a long time, she’ll never meet the little guy–and that’s by design.

You see, having children is interpreted differently by the opposite sex.

It’s often the case that single moms had kids young and got divorced young, often indicative of not making the best choices, especially in terms of the kind of men they choose and/or their temperament–which means she’s precisely the kind of girl who’s going to take honest beta bucks dude for a ride that doesn’t end well (read: cuckery and/or divorce plus infrequent starfish sex along the way).

Another issue with single moms is that many simply don’t have much time or love to give you–and maybe that’s no fault of her own because she has her children all the time except one day a week and every other weekend.

On the flip side, single dads typically have more time because courts will grant 50/50 custody AT MOST to men, but often quite a bit less. The other thing is that single dads tend to be alphas: they got married at a young age because they were highly desirable (some combo of looks and game) and worthy of siring children–in a way, it’s an example of preselection.

The other thing is that there’s an age difference. As we all know, men are most desirable between say 30-50 to cast a wide net, whereas women are most desirable from like 20-35. Many women in their 20s aren’t going to have children, just as many men in their 20s aren’t going to have children–but a lot of dudes will have gotten married and/or had kids by the time he’s say 35 or 40; indeed, it’s a bit of a red flag if he hasn’t…like, why hasn’t any desirable woman tried to lock this guy down and use his seed for a baby?

This is all a very longwinded way of saying: chicks don’t really give a fuck if you’re a single dad in the way that’s not true in reverse. To be sure, some chicks want nothing to do with children and will avoid you if they find out you have a kid…but chicks who don’t like kids are garbage people you probably don’t want to be around anyway (the adage that you should be wary of people who don’t like dogs, children, and old people is true IME–particularly women, as a woman who doesn’t like children is denying her basic purpose as a human). For the younger chicks I’ve been with, they either didn’t care because they saw sex with me as a fun, short term NSA relationship (I fucked a dad LOL OMG 🤪), or if they stuck around longer, it’s because they saw me as the sort of man who would be worth having children with, if only in the hypothetical (even if women tell themselves they don’t want a serious relationship with you, they still look for those qualities).

The final thing I’ll say on this: if you don’t want to have children, DON’T. It’s a lot of work and kids need parents who genuinely care and don’t see them as a burden. On the other hand, there’s something weird about people who are old and don’t have kids–and I imagine there’s a disconnect with the world as well. There’s something to be said for seeing the next generation and having them be a part of your life, and I wonder if a lot of millennials who are now swearing off children and getting dogs instead, will find something profound missing in their later lives when drinking three nights a week and hiking and brunching loses it’s luster.

That’s all I got today bros–hope everyone is enjoying the Holidays and getting laid…I’m working on it!

4 comments

  1. >I fucked a dad LOL OMG 🤪

    Sex with a fun dad who has no dad bod…not many can provide such a novelty!

    I would be curious to hear your thoughts on the ideal age to have a kid(s). Too young, and your liable to miss out on fun years of bachelorhood and time to build a strong foundation of value; too late, and you’re too feeble to wrestle with your kids and join them in physical activities.

    Like

  2. Interesting post. I have found I like to pursue single moms. They don’t require as much one on one time (because they are busy with their kids). Also, if they have an active father in the picture, they aren’t looking for me to be the replacement dad. As a bonus, when the kid goes to Dad’s house, I get a girl who wants to have sex constantly because she knows she is going to be super busy the next week after the kid gets home.

    Like

  3. Great post and agree on the whole single dad perspective, being one myself. Has not been issue at all with regards with dating or a road block, even though logistics can be tough when your kid is with you. Inspirational stuff!

    Like

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