Field Report: risotto, and an Israeli +1.

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When she flaked on me, I thought that was it.

Generally speaking, when girls flake on a date, they don’t come back around unless you’ve already smashed. So last Saturday: no call, no text, nothing–I sent a feeler a bit after when she was supposed to show up…nada.

And then she zombied back to life Monday night!

I can’t claim a ton of credit on this, other than the fact I didn’t blow myself out. A lot of guys (I used to be one of them) get understandably pissed when a girl flakes, doesn’t reply to text in a timely way, etc., and in effect, shows the girl he’s a needy bitch who’s not worth her time. Ironically, a girl I slept with around this same time last year (off Tinder strangely enough), told me she will purposefully ghost and/or flake on guys to see what they’ll do–and won’t date the guys who react.

Understand y’all: WOMEN WILL NEVER ADMIT THEY’RE WRONG IN THIS SITUATION (or in most others). It won’t happen. If she flakes or doesn’t respond, she’s got a reason why she did it, and the last thing she’s going to do is give one single fuck about how it affects you.

So if she flakes, or doesn’t respond, or ghosts, mirror her behavior. As Tom Torero (who apparently has disappeared once again into the void, or else Krauser finally killed him) says: in day game, the girl is your mirror. Well, in text game, you should be the girl’s mirror, plus applying the Heartiste 2/3s rule when possible.

Anyway, when she resurfaced I didn’t say a damn word about the flake–she made a half-hearted apology at some point, but I moved on pretty quick to see if she’d come out assuming that she re-engaged because she was interested. Exactly the same set-up: dinner at mine, 7pm.

And then she was late…this time, however, she at least texted.

But when she got here at 8, I couldn’t complain. She’d come straight from work, but changed into a crop top gray T-shirt, was wearing big hoop earrings, and mom jeans–skinny girl but she somehow made them look good (the concept of mom jeans is fucking stupid IMO). But it’s her hair and eyes that do it for me: big, beautiful olive-brown, liquid eyes, and massive, thick, curly hair.

I poured her a glass of wine (I was having the PUA cocktail–soda water with lime), told her that she was in trouble for being late (push), owed me a kiss (pull), and then we needed to get started on the risotto because I was fucking hungry (push).

Now, I’m 100% certain a true master of Italian risotto would take me to task on several points, but so far no one who’s tasted it has complained, and as a guy who frequents good restaurants, my version rivals what you’ll get here in the states–and is often better.

Here’s the thing though: it’s not that hard. It’s just rice you stir a lot and add a bunch of shit to so that it tastes more like pasta than rice.

And therein lies the beauty, because you make HER do the stirring. You see, most girls I’ve dated are quite young and don’t know a ton about cooking (apparently liberation includes forgetting to teach women useful household skills)–certainly not something that classifies as “fancy” like risotto.

Before I go on, let’s do the recipe and then I can explain why it’s a great thing to make for a dinner date at your place (btw, this is delicious, but don’t eat it very often–super caloric and obviously tons of carbs. For me this is strictly something I do on dates).

RPD’s Mushroom and Pea Risotto

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 cups Arborio Rice
  • 4 cups bone broth (preferably chicken)
  • 1 cup white wine
  • 1 sweet onion, finely diced
  • 1/2 cup frozen peas (if you can get fresh, do it–but this time of year unlikely)
  • 1 cup crimini mushrooms, sliced thin, sautéed in butter
  • 1/2 cup parmesan cheese
  • Salt and pepper to taste (more salt than you think)
  • Butter (3 tablespoons typically?) and olive oil as needed
  • Le Crueset or dutch oven and medium saucepan.

Steps:

  1. Pour broth in medium saucepan, stove on low/med heat.
  2. Sauté the onion in butter/olive oil (2 tbsp butter/1 olive oil) until translucent.
  3. Add rice, stir until coated and cook until just starting oil/butter is absorbed fully and you get a nutty smell–do not let rice brown.
  4. Add wine, stir occasionally until absorbed.
  5. Once wine is absorbed, add a cup(ish) of broth.
  6. Repeat step 5 until rice is cooked through, around 25-30 min–you can check by tasting a few grains, which should be al dente (firm but no crunch).
  7. Add peas.
  8. While cooking risotto, sauté mushrooms, then once peas are same temp as rice (cooked through if you use fresh), add mushrooms.
  9. Stir in parmesan cheese.
  10. Add salt and pepper to taste.

The big thing with risotto–as probably some of you know–is that you have to stir constantly in order to get the right consistency at the end and to cook the rice evenly. On consistency: you should still have a fair amount of liquidity at the end; if you can serve it on a flat plate and not have it spill over the edges, you’ve cooked it too long or added too little broth.

Anyway, with the girl stirring, you can escalate seamlessly.

Back to the Israeli: she gave me the kiss I required for being late, and I already had my ingredients prepared (mise en place) for dinner. By the way, we had salmon with dinner–risotto pairs nicely with grilled meat (of if you’re a vegetarian soy boy, you can make tofu I guess). May as well give you that recipe too.

RPD’s Grilled Salmon

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 lb fillet of salmon (2 of you won’t eat this much, but it’s nice to have a little extra for a salad later in the week)
  • Fresh crushed garlic, salt, and pepper.
  • Olive oil.
  • Green apple, sliced 1/2 inch thick through core (either way, I usually do top to bottom), enough to cover grill.

Steps:

  1. Put grill on high heat (charcoal is better, but I have gas as they don’t allow it at my apartment).
  2. Rub salmon generously with salt, pepper, garlic, and olive oil.
  3. Place apple slices on grill so that it prevents the grates from touching the skin.
  4. Lay salmon fillet over the apple slices so it’s protected from direct heat.
  5. Grill until fish until you see white lines of fat emerging between segments, light pink or flesh colored. If unsure, cut through the middle to see that it isn’t raw.
  6. Pull fish, place on cutting board, cover with foil (unless you’ve over cooked it).

So, the genius is that while stirring the risotto, the girl is your captive (they like this–trust me): she has a job and has to follow orders. She can’t stop stirring. She has to add the broth and ingredients at the right time. You’ll remind her of these things of course (you’re in charge), but this gives you plenty of opportunities to tease and be playful–and to leave to check the fish, or open more wine, or whatever you want to do.

It also allows you to come in behind her, press up against her, touch her sides, kiss her neck (if you want to be bold), etc., because she’s facing the stove. In other words, you can basically do whatever the fuck you want and there’s very little she can say about it. Her job is to cook the risotto. And you always have something to say:

“Stir, stir, stir.”

“Keep stirring.”

“Add more broth.”

“Need more wine?”

I did all of this–and more–and by the time we sat down for dinner, she was doe-eyed and ready. As many of you know, I love “A Star is Born” for escalation (and would have done it just to piss off Black Ring), but she wanted to watch The Bachelor after dinner, so we did, for maybe 30-40 minutes?

At first she resisted when I started kissing her (good girl), so I rolled off and we watched a bit more–then she actually made the move on me (was about to, but hey?) and we went into heavy makeout session, before I just picked her ass up and carried her into the bedroom.

She was a very sweet girl–wanted to go slow. No kink. Just a lot of kissing and then to be quite honest, passionate and full vanilla sex. Like…we just fucked and it felt really good. Nothing crazy. Mostly missionary.

But damn it was good. She came right before I did, and then laid on my chest and we talked a bit more…

…and then I woke up and she was gone. Strange, as I’m a fairly light sleeper.

Oh well. She texted the next day, saying she had fun. Think we’re hanging out Sunday.

Fin.

12 comments

  1. Excellent work, and great tips – thanks and applause.
    Nano-thing – my risottos always turn out gritty-ish. What am I doing wrong?

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  2. @Rpd: ok, so in case these chicks flake on you, you stay non-reactive, but you still let them reenage, right?
    Had a chick flake on me last Saturday, 45 minutes before the date, saying that she had too much to drink the night before and that she did not feel well after her ballet lessons (after replying positive to my confirmation ping earlier). Said she was super sorry and that it’s usually not her style. I just messaged back “Ok, no problem :)”.
    But since she also did not propose an alternative date, it would feel kinda low value to me, to ask for another date.

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    1. I wouldn’t of replied anything, especially with a smiley face. She flaked last minute. If it was one of your boys, you would’ve been pissed.

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  3. Very entertaining FR, great first paragraph

    >>She was a very sweet girl–wanted to go slow. No kink. Just a lot of kissing and then to be quite honest, passionate and full vanilla sex. Like…we just fucked and it felt really good. Nothing crazy. Mostly missionary.

    At a group sex like a year ago, I ran into a girl who liked pretty lovey-dovey sex, and I was confused by her preferences, cause so many girls like being smacked around, spanked, choked, etc., that I’d kinda forgotten not all chicks are into the rough trade.

    Fun change of pace from the usual, “Choke me harder” “Call me a worthless dirty whore” that’s the usual. Felt like I’d not properly done my job… everyone seemed to enjoy, however.

    Like

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