Stop following rules; stop being a pussy–assume the attraction.

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Seducing a woman is not like building a lego set.

There are no step by step instructions, and it’s only when you’ve succeeded in game that the true fun begins (although to be fair I find the whole thing exciting, which is why I prefer cold approach–even if you can get chicks through OLD, you miss the thrill of the chase, and it always feels a bit cheapened as such IMO).

Indeed, figuring out how to get a girl from the street or an app out on a date and then into your bed is a tricky thing–far more tricky than what our blue pill society would lead you to believe. Which is of course why this blog and others exist: why dating apps are worth billions and why there’s all kinds of guys from snake oil salesman to bonafide masters selling books, courses, and even coaching (like yours truly) to help guys get from point A to point Lay.

But something that seems to consistently trip guys up is that they treat game as a science, when as Nash states, it is an art. It is more practice than procedure.

Related to this is the fact that if a girl has chosen to go on a date with you, her decision is likely on solid ground–you’re not going to lose your chance by making small mistakes. On the other hand, if she’s not interested, you can do everything right and she’s still…not going to be interested.

That said, let’s get into the way of both of these concepts in greater detail, but TL;DR:

  1. Principles and strategy > memorizing rules/tactics.
  2. If the girl is considering a date with you, you’re one or among a very few of her best options.

Principles and Strategy: Keys to the Kingdom.

The first point is something I’ve found to be true about game AND life in general (recently brought to my attention by a player to be named later): Red Pill and Game revolve around praxeology–or the theory of human action as a purposeful, intentional endeavor.

However, there are two ways to enact them: first, through a set of rules, procedures, and routines–for example, if girl does X, guy does Y; if girl does N, guy does L; if guy shows K, girl shows H; etc. The second is to apply principles and adjust to the given situation, always keeping the end goal in mind.

Now, rules are useful as a guideline or way of deciding between options, especially when those options appear arbitrary. The problem is that girls are super random, and game is itself highly circumstantial, environmental, and sociocultural–which means that one opener might work incredibly well in a given situation and be terrible in another.

Thus, one is better to learn principles, and moreover, to understand the greater purpose of our pursuit–is it to get the girl in your bed by the end of the night, get a number, seed for a future engagement? Then with that purpose in mind, the player can best choose his course of action.

This all probably sounds like mental masturbation, so let me give a few examples to illustrate the point. We’ll start with chess, which is a finite game and relatively well known.

Now generally speaking, if one is following the rules in chess, we should seek a position where checkmate is always several moves away for our opponent, and it is also typically better to play defense than offense, given that counterattacking is often more effective than attacking (same is often true in soccer), while simultaneously exposing the player to less risk.

However, in a recent game I found myself in a position where my opponent had me one move away from mate, and there was nothing I could do to defend my king. The only option, therefore, was to go on offense–a risky proposition that involved losing some of my pieces and using my queen to put his king in perpetual check. Luckily it worked, and I was able to force him into checkmate, where if I followed the standard “rules” of what you’re supposed to do, I would have lost.

But the goal is to win the game–pieces and position are only a means to this end.

Another example, this time from baseball: hitters generally shouldn’t swing at a first pitch breaking ball (curveball or slider), because they’re harder to hit than a fastball, and if the pitcher throws a ball on that first pitch slider (breaking balls are harder to control than fastballs for obvious reasons), he will almost always follow it with a fastball next, fearing to get behind in the count.

However, if the pitcher ALWAYS or MOSTLY starts at-bats with a first pitch curveball, a smart hitter can sit on that pitch and take a big hack, because he knows what’s coming–by the way, half of all my homeruns in college came as a result of this strategy. Ted Williams also wrote about this, and he was pretty goddamn good–last guy to hit above .400.

OK, so let’s bring this back to game.

Typically, it seems you don’t want to pull a girl on the first date, especially if she’s from OLD, or logistics are bad–because even if you’re successful at getting first date sex, retention is going to be spotty (something I’ve dealt with as a guy who likes to pull hard) as the girl may regret fucking too quickly–she’ll feel like a slut in your presence, and will then often ghost.

In fact, a female reader recently said this in an email: “Yeah, sleeping with someone that quickly is always a coin toss. I always say if I sleep with you on the first date, I never want to see you again.”

So the two date model is best as a general rule.

However, in night game, or perhaps on the date, if she’s signaling she wants to fuck, suggests going to your place, wants to make out, is extremely submissive and sexual, then FUCKING PULL HER PLAYER! She’s ready to go, and in that case, retention is more secure if you pull than if you don’t–because if you don’t, chances are she won’t come out again. Hell, in night game you may never see her again anyway.

So while it’s great to have canned lines and stories (I advise all my clients to use both and provide them lots of good ones), or tried and true tactics, if you can’t adjust to the situation, you’ll make a lot of unforced errors, because you were more concerned with playing the game “right” and following rules than winning.

Remember, game is an art, not a science, and it is often the willingness to do something unconventional that will lead to success with a given girl.

A few more examples:

A) With Yoga girl, she was signaling strongly that I should go with her/pull when we first met. She wanted me to come with her to a concert, but I resisted, knowing instinctually that it wasn’t a good move. However, when we went out on the date, which got extended after breakfast, she made the comment that she wanted to fuck me, I pulled ASAP, and it worked. So in one case pulling was the wrong thing, and then it was the right thing. Asymmetrical, but that’s how it goes.

B) Most times, you don’t want to do an instadate or SDL, but sometimes you do–and if so, you want to have your shit together.

One time I missed an SDL because I’d parked my car somewhere it would get towed if I didn’t move it in time, and the window closed too fast for me to recover. I actually missed another one later that summer simply because I didn’t capitalize on the opportunity presented to play “husband.”

I did finally manage to pull one off later that summer, because I learned from the experience–key points here are: 1) figure out quickly if she’s out of town, and 2) if she is, what are her logistics? If she’s not traveling, the better play is to get her number and take her on a date later that week–most SDLs are going to be girls who are traveling, typically alone. But again, if she’s extremely submissive, has that dreamy look, and she’s super on, you can try then as well. Once you’ve decided to go for it, now you need logistics: where is she staying, is she with other people?

C) Another very good example is that unless it’s social circle or there are some special circumstances in play, you should take the girl’s number rather than giver her yours–because 95% of the time she’s not going to contact you. Same with taking IG: if she was really interested, she’d give you the number.

However, if she won’t give you her number but insists on taking yours or connecting via IG, you may as well do it. 5% is better than 0%, and if it’s going to hurt your feelings when 95% don’t contact you or DM a reply on IG, fucking wahhh. Stop being a baby. And here’s the thing: it CAN work. Socks, one of the hottest chicks I’ve gotten in game, was a girl I gave my number to, and she texted me like a month later or something like that out of the blue.

If she’s ON, she’s ON, and it’s your game to blow.

When a girl has decided to go out with you, she’s DECIDED. We have to remember, girls don’t think like men: they’re girls–hopefully hot–and a hot girl doesn’t struggle to get sex; she struggles to get sex with guys just out of her reach, or that are unique or interesting or relevant to her, in some way, shape, or form.

So once she’s decide you’re the guy, or a guy, you’re in the game, and you’re going to get a shot provided you don’t blow yourself out.

This actually speaks to the last point about rules vs. principles: had a recent conversation with a guy about how he was often stuck not asking for a number or date because: “you shouldn’t ask, you should tell.”

Yeah, you should generally tell–that’s a smart idea to adopt…but it’s also a minor fucking point. If she likes you, she likes you, and she’s not going to care if you ask her out or tell her out–she’s coming out, because she likes you. This is why so much of the advice you see on Twitter is absolute horseshit: platitudes and rules that maybe are smart generally, but don’t apply to every situation–and then you get new guys who don’t understand the difference and fuck up because they think of Game as a set of rules to follow, rather than a practice or art.

In other words, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good, and also, DON’T BE A PUSSY. I’m sorry, but I’m going to say it: sometimes you just need to get rejected and fail–you’ll learn a hell of a lot more from that than pussing out on a number close or an approach opportunity.

“Bro, I saw this super cute girl at the coffee shop.”

Me: what did you do about it?

If the answer is “nothing,” then no matter what the guy says or texts me after that, here’s what I hear: blah, blah, blah. Because who gives a fuck? I see hot girls all the time–the question is whether I do something about it. I often don’t, and when I don’t, it’s because I’m being a pussy.

Now, here’s the thing: that’s going to happen–A LOT–when you’re first starting out in cold approach. You’re going to see hot girls and be like, “man I should go talk to them”–and then you’re going to puss out and not do shit and feel bad for the rest of the day because you didn’t take action.

That’s fine. It’s part of the process…the question is whether you’re going to use that experience of knowing what it’s like to do nothing and turn it into doing SOMETHING. Because the fact of the matter is that until you get get up the nerve to go talk to that girl, your desire, feelings, knowledge of game, etc., means nothing.

This is why I started coaching. Because I can help you figure that out. I can help you go from wanting to talk to girls and getting laid, to actually doing it. Because the truth is that for most guys, if you can’t take action on your own based on the massive volumes of writing and YouTube videos and courses, etc. about what to do in game and pick up, you’re never going to, unless you get help. Last thing on that point: my goal as a coach is to eventually fire you–to say you don’t need me anymore, you’re a player, and then we can just swap stories about chicks and stuff. Might only take a few calls, or it might take a few years, but if you work with me I’ll get you there, IF you’re willing to do the work.

My first official cuckery: the Israeli comes back.

So, the after our lovely risotto date, the Israeli flaked. Again.

In response I was ghosting, as one should…but then last week, she all the sudden wanted to come over. So I was like, OK, mostly expecting her to flake again, but then she was there and we ended up fucking again and it was great.

And she reveals…I’m married–mainly so I can stay in the US. Just as Red Troncal guessed:

So, not a BF but a husband.

The first time I cucked a guy, as far as I know–though it makes me think it’s quite possible that other girls I’ve slept with have had BFs or husbands and just never told me about that, which goes back to why the “I have a BF” as a shit test is mostly bullshit. Because if she had a BF and still wanted to hang out, why would she tell you? A: she wouldn’t.

And of course, as RQ notes, I came inside her, no condom.

By the way, I got her through a bit of day game at the mall, and she’s a great example of why you should want to learn cold approach: because she’s not on the apps–indeed, even though she was tired of her husband, she might not have cheated (yet) had I not run some game. In a way that makes me feel bad: I’d hate to be the reason a marriage doesn’t work.

On the other hand, it is what it is. From what I can tell, she’s going to leave him anyway, and at some point, given the opportunity, would have cheated with someone else…may as well be me, right?

One comment

  1. >>And of course, as RQ notes, I came inside her, no condom.

    Fantastic work. The regularity of such things would have blown my mind, when I was a teen and even young adult. I missed opportunities to sleep with hot girls in college because the girls had boyfriends, which made me think they were off the market or unavailable or something.

    Stupid, in retrospect. Which makes me wonder what I believe today that I’ll find stupid, in retrospect.

    Liked by 1 person

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