A few years ago, when I was first getting red pilled, I posted to Facebook: life is a question of comfort or value–if you choose comfort, you sacrifice value, and vice versa.
One of my colleagues got upset about that, replying: that’s not true. You can have both.
But when I looked at his life, it was true: he was overweight, looked like a troll with small eyes and arms, was doing a mediocre job at work, had a wife who was fat and ugly (albeit very kind), and kids that looked and acted like retards. That said he had a nice house in the suburbs and had gone on a recent European vacation (I love how every American who goes to Europe comes back a fan of some FC with hats and shirts and scarves and acts as if he’s been a fan since day one) and his life was…quite comfortable.
And for the average person–maybe even most people–that’s all they really want. Get married, own a home, have kids, go on a few notable vacations, watch your sports team win a championship once or twice, then kick the bucket in their sleep without becoming too terrified of death as they age.
Spot the problem?
The reason people fear death–other than a simple fear of the unknown–is that they regret the way they lived. Because they didn’t choose value. They chose comfort.
And if you consistently choose comfort, that in itself will cause you to experience quite a bit of discomfort–sometimes massive discomfort.
Take for example the guy above: what if his wife decides he’s such a slug she’s going to cheat on him. Then he finds out, they get a divorce, she rapes the shit out of him…and one day he finds himself age 47, waking up on a shitty futon in a cookie cutter suburban apartment filled with stale pizza boxes, which he can barely see over his gut while lying down. His only chance at fucking at this point are fat, trashy single moms who will offer him starfish sex after three months and a bunch of dinner dates. His job is utterly meaningless, but it’s too comfortable to leave, and most of his friends are still married and have family structures to rely on as they age.
Now, maybe he gets his shit together. Or maybe his wife doesn’t cheat on him in the first place. Maybe he just gets old and lives a fairly mundane, comfortable existence–but even that in the end will be tiring, which is why a lot of people get grouchy and sometimes downright mean as they get older.
I was telling RedQuest the other day that one of the most annoying things about older women is that they don’t have to be worthless individuals with low sex appeal. Like, the reason older chicks are jealous of younger chicks is that younger women tend to be thinner, more feminine, and more joyful–but there’s no rule that says a woman in her 30s or 40s couldn’t be those things, right? If she stays in shape, dresses sexy, and cultivates a joyful existence, an older woman can be extremely appealing into her 40s and perhaps even into her 50s.
But to connect the two points, most of them don’t do that: they become grouchy, bitter, and ultimately miserable–and that’s why! Because like the old man who’s pissed off at the world because he chose comfort his entire life and it’s now passed him by, most women choose comfort as they age: Netflix and bagels and lattes and rosé > HIT and salads and short skirts.
And yet: they remember what it was like to be thin and young and have Chads chasing after you, which is why they resent young women and try to shame guys like me for fucking them.
To be fair, most men choose comfort as well and either get married to the sort of woman I just described and gets fat with her, or weeds himself out of the market because he’s too much of a pussy to figure out how to live a purposeful life, spending most of his waking hours on video games or collecting baseball cards, or some other worm-like hobby…
Damn I’m feeling sassy today!
Anyway, I hope it’s clear by now that if you’re a man who wants to do well with women–and perhaps more importantly, to live a purposeful life with true joy and meaning–you should almost always be choosing value and sacrificing comfort.
Indeed, that’s a good way to frame any decision you make in life: am I choosing value, or comfort?
And to be sure, it’s OK to sometimes choose comfort as long as you’re mostly choosing value. Eating pizza or ice cream or tacos once a week is totally fine as long as you confine it to one meal and eat healthy otherwise. Jacking off to porn is also fine on occasion provided you don’t let it become your only sexual outlet. Playing video games or watching a television series a few hours a week is also fine; I just hope you went to the gym first.
But by choosing value overall, we increase our value as men. And more and more, the modern woman will choose men who have high value.
Fact is, most chicks don’t care about money nearly as much as guys think they do; they care about status, which often comes with money. But mostly what she cares about is what’s going to make that pussy wet and get her off; the modern woman doesn’t need a man to take care of her, or at least she thinks she doesn’t, so she’s only going to fuck you for one of two reasons, perhaps both: because you have status and/or are very fit and good looking.
Another way of looking at it is that chicks choose you for what you can do for them or to them. And in order to do either of these things you have to have high value as a man.
Comfort matters too in the end; as Todd V and others before him have pointed out, good game is striking the right balance of comfort and value. But as I said earlier, hot chicks in today’s SMP are mostly going to choose value, because it’s by far the more rare quality of what they see in today’s men, who are mostly blue pill pussies who think you should be a pussy to get pussy.
Girls don’t want to hear about your fucking feelings, and they don’t want you to defer to them all the time. They want you to lead and have swagger and fuck them like a Chaddy animal. They want confidence and VALUE.
So here’s how to ensure you have high value–what I’m realizing more and more to be the holy trinity of living well as a dude:
- Lift and exercise hard and regularly.
- Eat healthy food and don’t drink calories.
- Do hard things and never stop learning.
Lifting and exercising hard and regularly.
As you might expect on a red pill blog, the most important thing any man can do is lift. You can check out my routine or develop your own, and I won’t claim here to be some sort of fitness guru because I’m not one (if you are, I really like what AJ Cortes has to say and Turk recently turned me on to this guy who seems pretty cool).
However, there are some super basic principles to apply to lifting:
- A) Do compound lifts: bench, lat pulls, squats, deadlifts, etc.
- B) Go as heavy as you can and keep the reps below 10–preferably between 4-7–and lift to exhaustion.
- C) Don’t train the same muscles less than 2-3 full days apart.
On C, I fucking KNOW some dumb cunt is going to try to argue about that, but he’s wrong. Your muscles need time to heal, and if you keep breaking them down before they fully recover, you’re not going to make as much progress as you otherwise would. It’s also just silly: you’re doing more work than you need to for zero benefit.
Now that said, different things work for different guys. If you’re a naturally big guy like me, you probably don’t need to train as often, and you certainly shouldn’t eat as much as a smaller guy who’s trying to bulk. Some guys like crossfit. Some guys like olympic style training. Some guys like separating muscle groups into multiple days a week instead of working out like I do: one day a week of upper body and arms, one day a week of legs and lower body and stomach.
The point is to figure out what works best for you, and then make it a routine. If you get bored or stop making gains, switch it up. And if something is working for you, don’t listen to what other guys say–so many guys think they’re fucking experts about lifting it’s ridiculous, and they think that whatever they do is the PERFECT thing and anyone who does anything else is a retard.
Fine. Let them. Then go do what works for you.
In terms of what you should be doing other than lifting, a lot of things can work. Personally, I like to go on long walks, do hill sprints or stairs (HIT), swim, and do yoga. But running, cycling, jiu-jitsu, elliptical, rowing are also great things to do.
The key with whatever you do is shoot for at least some portion of anaerobic, high intensity activity where you’re going to exhaustion a few times a week. For me, this happens when I do stairs or swim. Aerobic activity is totally fine, but studies consistently show that you’ll burn more fat and promote more hormone growth by training to exhaustion and burning out; it will also make you more insulin sensitive, which is good, because it means your metabolism is working properly.
Eat healthy food and don’t drink calories.
I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this because it’s super simple:
- Eat eggs, meat (especially red meat and fish), and vegetables.
- Cook with healthy fats: olive oil, coconut oil, and butter.
- Limit your intake of carbs.
Magnum has a really good piece on this I highly recommend. He also advises not drinking, which is extremely smart and something I’ve been forced to adopt because when I drink I tend to become a retard–a fairly common experience.
That said, the occasional cheat is fine as mentioned above. In fact, there’s some evidence to suggest that eating a bunch of calories on a sparing basis is actually good, because it allows your body to reset and recover. Bear in mind that this should happen no more than once a week.
The flip side is that you should fast some of the time. Intermittent fasting is all the rage now, but I’d advise guys to try some 48-72 hour fasts as well. There’s good evidence now that fasting can even kill cancer cells and promote youthfulness and longevity, which all seems pretty good to me.
Do hard things and never stop learning.
I told a client earlier this week that he needed to choose one super hard thing and do it once a day. Preferably it should revolve around women, although if talking to girls is super hard, then I guess that’s fine.
But for me here’s what it looks like: fasting, taking ice baths, doing HIT stairs, writing this blog and other things, playing chess, meditation, yoga, skiing, fishing, cold approach–whether day or night game. Now just like lifting and diet, your routine may look different than mine, but the point is that you need to cultivate a good life, which means challenging yourself, whether doing something difficult or learning something new.
The other thing guys absolutely must incorporate is reading. Listening to podcasts or audiobooks counts here as well, although I think there’s something to be said for reading a physical book too–at least on occasion.
Note that some of these things aren’t particularly hard for me anymore, because I’ve become proficient to the point where it’s not difficult–writing or cold approach for example. But these things are difficult for most people, and they always force me to learn. I don’t think everyone needs to start a blog, but writing regularly is a good thing to do, even if only for yourself. Honestly I probably get more value out of writing this blog than my readers do by reading it–hopefully it’s valuable for them too obviously–but I’d write this even if I knew no one would read a word.
One of the most common problems guys want help with is: how do I have good conversations with women?
I’m working on a PDF to that effect which I’ll give to all my clients here in the next week or so, but the short answer is be an interesting person. How does one become an interesting person? By learning stuff and being curious about the world, i.e. reading, learning a new language, studying art or science, playing games (like poker, chess, even video games that require complex decision making), having outdoor experiences (like hiking, fishing, camping, rock climbing), etc.
In terms of doing hard things, I’m starting to believe this far more important than most people realize. The reason is that you’re cultivating mental toughness and proving to both your mind and body that not only can you do hard things–you ARE someone who does hard things.
In the first chapter of his book, 12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson talks about how lobsters establish dominance hierarchies based on fighting. The takeaway is that the lobsters who win get to occupy better habitat and have more access to females, and the process is self-fulfilling, in that winning increases the lobster’s level of serotonin, making him more likely to win in the future.
My guess is that something similar happens to men. I wrote a long time ago that I noticed women having a different reaction toward me after I’d been running game for awhile. Now probably some of that comes with being in good shape and having big muscles, but there’s also something else at play–women sense that I’m a guy who fucks intuitively almost, even if I’m not consciously doing anything in particular. Like yesterday when I got my vaccination, the chick giving me the shot started flirting with me, and all I had done was show her my paper work.
And something almost certainly happens in reverse: guys who don’t fuck or do well with women put that out into the world, so that again, chicks kind of know instinctively not to fuck them. Which means that if you’re this kind of guy, you need to change that dynamic–and one way to change that is to prove to yourself that you can do hard things…
That you can choose value over comfort.
That’s it for today fellas–but I’ll make the usual pitch: if you want help doing some of the stuff above, reach out for coaching. The truth is that most people can’t make big changes like what I’m talking about on their own, especially if you’re the submissive lobster who’s taught himself to fail all the time and to be afraid of taking risks. Like, if you’ve been choosing comfort your whole life, chances are you will continue to do that unless you interrupt that process, and I can help you.
Otherwise, thanks for reading.