“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
I saw an interesting comment recently: interesting partially because it was true, and partially because it was on one of my first posts–maybe my worst post ever as there’s no real actionable advice. It’s just a guy who’s in the midst of frustration, fear, anger–a guy who was suffering?
Here’s the comment from GrumpyCat:
“6’3″ is playing on easy mode. I’m 5’5″ and I tell you that’s super tough.
But great blog dude. I enjoy your honesty and how you communicate your thoughts. Your writing is great. Keep it up brother!”
First, TY my man I appreciate the kind words.
But to his point, he’s right: if you’re 5’5″, it’s going to be harder to get women. A lot harder. There’s no doubt about that.
Two points, however:
- It can still be done.
- For most guys, most of the time (let’s say 95%+), getting laid is really fucking hard.
RedQuest put me onto a fascinating podcast with Default Friend and Personality Girl interviewing Delicious Tacos–overall good stuff–but I was taken aback by HOW one of the girls asked the following question: so is getting laid hard?
TL;DR–DT said yes and went on to explain why for like 10 minutes. Actually that was the primary topic of the entire podcast.
But what caught me was the way it was asked. There was a sense of wonder and amazement in her voice. Or perhaps humorous disbelief and astonishment.
But that makes perfect sense, because for chicks in their 20s who aren’t fat (as they both are), getting laid is a mere choice–like going out for brunch or attending a concert. Maybe there are some logistics involved, but the guy is going to do 90% of the work anyway and all she has to do is decide yes or no, based on whatever catlike emotions she’s feeling at the time. Personality Girl actually says this exact thing later in the podcast: attractive women living in a big city can get laid within 30 minutes if they want to.
Now, before you get pissed about that privileged position, remember that this situation is only the case for ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. Too old or fat or born with bad genetics and it’s no longer true. Guys are constantly crowing on Twitter about how being a top 10% guy isn’t hard, but they never seem to consider the fact that realistically, we only want to sleep with the top 10-20% of women. And the span of time most women spend in that top tier (say from 16 until whenever she gets too fat or old) is fleeting: maybe 3-10 years? That can be extended if she’s exceptionally attractive and has a militant approach to diet and fitness, but most women don’t (nor do most men). Indeed, it seems a lot of women these days can’t even manage to stay thin much past 23-24, if my recent day game sessions are any indication.
The point here is that what women get in terms of easy sex for a very short time span, men get in having a very long time span in which we stay sexually relevant to women. Personality Girl, who said she was 27, currently has a boyfriend who’s 60. So whereas older men can still pull women in their 20’s (can being the key word–this isn’t to suggest it’s common or easy), Women who are 60 are utterly invisible and irrelevant to any attractive man.
Indeed, most women much past 30-35 simply aren’t going to get top tier guys unless they stay fit and feminine, which is increasingly rare. So question is, would you rather have the long window or the easy access?
I’ll take the former every damn day.
For men, getting laid almost always requires some combination of skill, game, luck, and logistics.
As DT says, getting laid is hard.
It’s very hard for teenage guys, and that continues for most guys into and throughout their 20s.
Our 30s is probably where it’s easiest, but that’s primarily because by that time guys at least have some idea of how to get laid or at least how to not fuck it up, and it’s also the age women find most attractive assuming the guy hasn’t gotten fat (although many will have).
But it remains hard. Girls will still flake, ghost, get squirrely, shit test, try to lock you down, etc. The apps will prevent most young and hot from seeing your profile, and at some point you’ll be asked why you’re not serious–aka married.
And then in the early to mid 40s we start the slow but inevitable march toward our own sexual irrelevance to women, though luckily this can extend into our 60s as mentioned above, assuming excellent fitness and some measure of financial success.
I say this as a tall, white, blue-eyed man–although to be fair, if I’m not careful I get fat and I’m not good looking enough to match often on dating sites.
But to bring this full circle, a lot of guys who are short or Asian or older or have some other real or perceived physical disadvantage with women assume that if only they were tall and white–or black–they’d just slay pussy left and right…
Understand, I’m not saying being tall and white isn’t an advantage–it absolutely is. Some chicks are crazy racists when it comes to attraction, especially against Asian and Indian guys, and they definitely prefer tall over short.
But three points:
- Identity is not NEARLY as predictive to one’s happiness or results in life as is currently peddled by our insane culture. It’s just not. Middle aged white men are the most likely group to commit suicide among any group in the US, so if being white and/or male was such a massive advantage, why is that? And if your impulse is to say it’s because white guys are weak, congratulations: you’re racist (if you want to say white culture is weak, now maybe we’re getting somewhere).
- Getting laid for guys is almost NEVER easy, and if it is: beware! Super easy pussy usually comes with some sort of catch or trap.
- YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE. Right? Spending a lot of time bitching about the condition of one’s life is not time well spent–actually there’s a strong argument to be made that THAT is precisely what’s wrong with our culture: everyone wants to bitch, no one wants to fix. If you don’t like the conditions in which you find yourself, don’t complain: change them.
As Andy Dusfrene says in Shawshank Redemption, “you can get busy living, or you can get busy dying.”
So, GrumpyCat is right in so far as a guy like me has an advantage, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy–or maybe I’d amend his comment by saying that if I’m playing on easy mode, the game is still really fucking hard.
The good news is that whether you’re old, fat, short, bald, or whatever, is that before sex happens, chicks care a lot more about personality and game and confidence and frame than they do about pure looks–the exception being Online Dating.
But like, that’s why I infamously hate dating apps and OLD in general.
Because even supposing I got better pictures and could match easier, Tinder and the rest of that noise ruins the market for men AND women. It really only benefits the true Chads, because even though chicks can match with super hot guys, Chad never has to offer the relationship she wants because he can constantly fuck 7s and the occasional 8 off the apps.
And for guys, as most of us know, unless you’re Chad…matches are hard to come by and the general quality is still poor.
Anyway, the beauty of cold approach, whether day or night game, is that a guy who’s 5’5″ with strong game has a shot at pulling a hottie, assuming his fitness and fashion are in order. Because she’s not comparing you to some hypothetical guy–you’re presenting as your best self at the highest possible value. Like yeah, you’re probably not going to take home a girl who’s 5’10”, but most girls are 5’6″ and under anyway, and many will tell you straight up that while they might say 6’+ on an app, all they really care about is that the guy is as tall or taller than they are.
So, do looks matter? Fuck yeah they do. Of course.
But there’s only so much you can do about that:
Beyond that, you are who you are. You can’t change the color of your skin or your height or your face–at least not yet–so you have to play with the hand you’re dealt.
Not everyone gets to be a rockstar, or an all star, or a porn star….
But you can still act and fuck like one.
It’s going to be a glorious summer gentlemen. As RedQuest says: will you be ready?
Also–and I’ll do an official post on this at some point–I’m going to teach a course this summer titled: The Fundamentals of Game and Seduction, which will come with a work book of the same title (book will NOT be available for sale to the public–it’s intended for use with the course).
It’ll run between 8-10 weeks and will be taught like a regular university course over Zoom, utilizing google classroom with assignments, homework, tests, etc. The purpose is to teach the fundamentals and basics of what guys need to know about meeting (focus on cold approach, but we’ll discuss OLD and social circle as well), dating, and seducing women, as well as to provide experiential learning activities and lessons so guys can start learning cold approach, use dating apps effectively, go on dates, and hopefully get laid sooner rather than later. If my track record with clients so far speaks to anything, I can almost guarantee that at some of the students who enroll in the course WILL get laid during our time together, and all of the students–provided they take their learning seriously–WILL be far better with women than they were when they started.
Cost is yet to be determined (likely around $750), but hit me up if you’re interested and reserve your spot. I’ll limit the course to 25ish guys or fewer.
That’s it for now boys. Masks are coming off soon and chicks are showing skin…let’s fucking go!