Ghosting vs. Mining: TL;DR–Ghost. New leads should always be the priority.

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Breeze wrote something in a private chat recently I thought was brilliant. With his permission I’ll share it here:

“Something I remind myself of is that the Game is stone flipping. If she’s not interested, there’s very little you can do—and if people read that Indoor Guide running round town, they would know how to read IODs! The Game is to find a girl who’s receptive, then optimize that set towards good feelZ and lead it to the bedroom. I think it’s wasted mental energy to be sour over a girl who’s not interested—easier said then done of course…”


A wise player indeed.

So what should you do if you get a number and it’s flaky, the girl won’t come out, or she’s being noncommittal?

The answer is: NEXT.

For example, I had a great date recently with a hot chick I picked up at a coffee shop. Date was awesome, she came back to mine, we made out, chemistry was amazing….and then she didn’t reply very quick after the date.

She replied, eventually, but on the next ask replied that she was busy and didn’t give an alternative.


She’s on ghost mode from here on out unless or until she reaches out–because if she doesn’t reach out, that means she’s not interested. And I don’t really care that much. There’s hotter and younger to be had. A man with abundance doesn’t need to beg and scrape and here’s the catch: even if you don’t have chicks and things are kinda desperate, your frame should be the same.

Like, there’s often a really good reason why a girl is single, which is that she has unrealistic expectations and/or is a miserable person and/or is flaky, can’t be relied upon, etc. Too many modern women (especially American girls) either think their value is a lot higher than it is–especially on the sale (read the link I’m not talking about prostitution)–or don’t understand the value of time vis-a-vis their opportunities.

This is the girl I’m referring to–maybe I was too alpha 🤔

Apparently a third mistake is that women are actively choosing guys they can boss around. Let’s stop there and just appreciate how fucked up that is: women are prioritizing men who are BETA specifically so that she can have all the power in the relationship.

That is so fucked up!

It also isn’t going to work very well. As the my date noted, the women she knows who have done this are all miserable and end up sabotaging their relationships–a big reason why I think this is going to be a VERY red pill summer and fall for a lot of dudes: there are a lot of chicks out there with quarantine BFs who are bored AF and going to start breaking it off or cheating.

But to bring it back to Breeze’s point, your time is better spent generating new leads than it is trying to get current or old leads out. So many guys ask me: “hey should I ping this girl–I met her a few weeks ago, but she never came out?”


I mean, go ahead and ping her if you want–can’t hurt if you’ve waited a few days since the last time you bothered her. But if a girl likes you, she’ll reply to your texts fairly promptly and come out on a date. If she’s not texting you back very quickly or eagerly, she’s either not interested or still making up her mind about you. That’s why I think text game is overrated: because most of the time, she either likes you and wants to fuck you, or she doesn’t, and there’s not a whole lot you can do through text to change that.

And in either case, radio silence, AKA ghosting, is your best bet.

Because here’s what the girl thinks: a guy who goes silent is doing so because he has other girls he’s talking to (fucking) and he forgot or doesn’t care about her. I’ll stop short of saying you should treat girls badly on purpose, but this is why women end up liking guys who treat them poorly: because whether he knows it or not, he’s indicating abundance.

So ultimately, when a girl’s not texting back quickly or at all, the best move is ghost and then go talk to more girls. If you want to ping her, let it simmer for at least four or five days, or even a week plus.

Then, here’s what I like as the reviver text: ping her with a meme or a photo that’s relevant to something you talked or texted about. If it’s a low key neg or funny, even better.

For example, the chick above has a small dog, which I said I wasn’t a big fan of on the date (small dogs, not chicks, obviously). So, if she doesn’t come back to life of her own accord, sometime late next week I’ll ping her this:

And then if she doesn’t reply to that, I’ll delete the number and go talk to more girls. Because as the wise Nathan Alexander tells us:

Your move player.

If you want help on how to generate abundance with women, hit me up for coaching or take my upcoming course on the Fundamentals of Game and Seduction. Remember guys, there’s no shame in getting help–you can certainly learn a lot for free by reading this blog and others, but your learning curve and success will be exponentially shortened with the help of a coach.

Hope to hear from you–but if not, remember the blog is and always will be free and free of ads. If you want to support me, it’s very much appreciated: you can sign up on Patreon or just buy me a coffee by clicking the PayPal link in the side bar.

Regardless, good luck out there and thanks for reading.


  1. Timely post. Also came to the conclusion recently that I need to focus more on yes-girls and rigorously next maybe-girls (my game is not tight enough to get them anyway).

    So far, in the back of my mind, I have always left the door open for lukewarm maybe-girls and I think those girls registered that as neediness and gave me an even harder time or simply turned into no-girls.

    All comes down again to the simple maxim of being willing to walk away.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good post. A couple of points:

    > Breeze wrote something in a private chat
    I have to give credit where credit is due. I first recall hearing this from LongBurnTheFire

    > women are prioritizing men who are BETA specifically so that she can have all the power in the relationship.
    I can’t speak for all dating markets, but I believe in NYC good-looking guys who are easily tooled come a dime a dozen on Tinder. Girls, 1 and 2 points below the guys. have them available on tap. Women are swimming in a sea of +2 men at their whims.

    Liked by 1 person

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