The myth of sex negativity: spinsters, white knights, and anti-sex strategy.

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A few days ago I got triggered.

I’ve since calmed down, but every time I see this kind of shit my initial reaction is anger and disgust. I don’t like being called a creep. No one does–especially when it’s for doing something wondrous and perfectly natural.

You see, I try to listen to lots of different voices. It’s why I still read the NYT sometimes even though it’s mostly woke garbage and why I appreciate the manosphere for its right wing nuttery and wild conspiracy theories; to the extent I care about the news, I like hearing from a wide range of perspectives in order to inform my views and keep me, if not unbiased, then at least less naive to the wide range of lunacy in the ether of American Society in 2021.

So I was listening to Default Friend’s podcast After the Orgy the other day–aptly titled as it turns out.

Quick note: though I ultimately don’t think she’s worth listening to or following on Twitter anymore (at least not for me), I want to give credit where credit is due. Because up to this point I’ve found her to be a relatively thoughtful person who views sex and relationships in a different way than most people–especially most women. In particular, she, along with her pod partner Personality Girl, points out that women are often manipulative in relationships and should take more responsibility for their choices regarding sex, relationships, etc., and their interview with Delicious Tacos was excellent.

However, her most consistent theme on both her blog and podcast is that we’re entering an era of sex negativity–on Twitter she is constantly beating this drum. So what is sex negativity? Until now I wasn’t entirely sure. To be 100% honest she doesn’t explain it that well other than to point out anecdotal examples of people saying sex is bad, although that’s usually post break up or in the doldrums of being single.

Luckily in her last podcast she threw open the curtains when she used the term “creepy” to describe men who sleep with younger women, specifically naming/shaming the PUA community. “Sex negativity” it turns out, is just DF’s vehicle for slut shaming, white knighting, and concern trolling–a story as old as time from washed up females and beta males who are on the outs in the SMP.

Before we continue, let’s make something crystal clear: from the time he is 13 and finds his dick can get hard to his last waking breath, EVERY guy who’s heterosexual wants to fuck hot, young women in their teens and 20s.

That’s not a bug–it’s a feature.

Men fucking and impregnating young, beautiful women is how our species reproduces and survives. Go ask any OBGYN: young women are far more fertile and likely to have a successful, easier pregnancy than older women–a man’s time and sperm are LITERALLY better well spent with younger women (IME this is generally true even if you’re not trying to get a chick pregnant–older women just seem to have a really hard time being or having fun for some reason).

Sexual desire is biological–a part of our very being; ingrained in our genetic code. It is NOT something that can be socially conditioned, which is why young, beautiful women find men twice their age unbelievably alluring and attractive, and sometimes act on those impulses despite society constantly throwing a wet blanket on the whole idea.

I know from experience. The eagerness with which some younger women have pursued sex with me (once I opened the door) has been one of the most astonishing discoveries in my red pill journey. There’s a hunger they have to sate that will not be denied. For those who’ve done it, you know: the sexual energy in the bedroom with this dynamic in play is nothing short of electric.

And of all people, Default Friend should know this, Personality Girl is 27 and fucking a guy in his 60s!

Which, hey, great for both of them, right? Halle-fucking-lujah!

But then you can’t turn around and say that guys who are in their 30s–or even 40s–wanting to sleep with women in their late teens or early 20s are creepy or weird or any of the other thing white knights and puritanical feminists like to say about men who date younger women. It’s literally the same age difference. People often bring up maturity in this context, but raw sexual desire has nothing to do with maturity–unless it’s a younger woman wanting a more mature man!

Worse, it’s not a legitimate or honest perspective. It’s POWER TALK.

It’s something older women (and beta males) do as a means of sexual strategy: sex/slut shaming. If they could they would argue it’s creepy anytime someone sleeps with an 18 yo girl, even of the same age–the only reason they don’t is that it would sound ridiculous. Although to my point: some of these same puritans claim women under 24/25 can’t really consent to sex because they’re too immature, which just shows you how absurd this can become.

Whatever they look like physically, these people are the spiritual equivalent of Becky: the fat, cock-blocking friend of the hot chick who wants to come home with us, but can’t, because Becky is “concerned.” But here’s what she’s really concerned about: not that her friend was in any real danger, but that SHE, Becky, wasn’t getting any attention, and if she couldn’t fuck the hot guy, then by God she’ll make sure no one can.

Basically, older women and beta males see sex between hot young chicks and Chadly older guys as bad because they’re not involved. Makes sense even from an evolutionary standpoint: less attractive women and men trying to prevent fitter, more beautiful people from breeding, lest their own offspring have to compete with their superior genes and fertility in the future.

One of biggest reasons–if not THE reason–women hate the concept of PUA.

Recently, the subject of why women hate PUA and Game so viscerally came up in a private chat. RedQuest has an excellent piece that surely describes some of it–basically that learning Game increases male value and leads us to be less likely to commit aka commodifies sex with women. But XBTUSD said he believed there’s something more and I agree, there is–and DF’s commentary helped me realize what it was:

Learning Game–TRP, PUA, whatever you want to call it (yes there are differences, but let’s not quibble about that now)–reduces women to their sexual market value, which for the most part recedes rapidly after 24/25. Obviously that varies, but past a certain age, women are ACUTELY aware of this fact: there is a seed of fear that begins to grow in every woman’s heart as she gets older, because she knows that the great advantage she has had in life via beauty is running out, and that at some point she will become utterly invisible and irrelevant to men. Don’t believe me?

Then believe THEM:

I see all these older women (40+) and they’re alone and it’s like the world has pretty much forgotten about them.— Gwen Kansen (@GwendolynKansen) May 24, 2021

(Note: I had initially embedded the tweet, but she’s deleted her Twitter. Alas.)

To be blunt: older women DO NOT WANT TO COMPETE with younger women. Because they will lose.

(If it makes you feel better, you can apply “generally” or “most of the time” to both of those statements)

And they also know that many younger women REALLY like hot older guys, because they liked hot older guys when they were young.

Remember how I said earlier that all guys like hot, young chicks? Well, the same is true for women–they all like the same kind of guy. The difference is there’s a bigger swing zone. For women, it could be anywhere from 25-60, but the sweet spot is probably more like 30-45. Regardless, these guys will all have the similar attributes: tall (don’t get upset short guys, it’s not all that matters and can be overcome), handsome, muscular, fit, confident, successful, socially adept. This is true whether she’s 18 or 38. Because as Rollo says: YOU CANNOT NEGOTIATE ATTRACTION.

What they count on, of course, is that MOST MEN DON’T KNOW THIS. We do in our hearts and loins, of course, but blue-pill society says sex and relationships should only happen between men and women who are less than 5-7 years age difference. Anything more is cause for gossip and panic, because of the concern-trolling, pathetic-hater-energy of white knights and spinsters.

Which is why women hate TRP and PUA, because when men learn Game, they find out it’s a lie!

We learn that a lot of younger women like older guys and are happy, if not downright elated to date and fuck us. The girls from Red Scare have a great podcast on this where they talk about the fact that when they were 16-22, they were desperate to fuck older, hot guys and did so when they could. Default Friend probably did too, and as I already pointed out, her buddy Personality Girl is currently having sex with a guy who’s more than 30 years older.

And therein lies the proof right? If it were really so creepy for young women to have hot older guys give them attention, they’d complain about it a lot more often–it would be a scourge on society and the NYT would run constant trash about how young women were being preyed on by older men.

But mostly they don’t. It’s the older chicks who bitch the loudest and/or long after the fact–and we all know why that happens right? Attention. Anyone remember how absurd the allegations were against Bret Kavanaugh, 30 years after? And why’d she do it? Not because she saw a pee-pee and was scarred, but because she wanted attention, aka God for women.

TL;DR–older women don’t want to compete with younger women, so they hate Game, they slut shame young women, and they try to label older guys who date younger women as “creepy” because that’s all they can do. They say things like: a real man would date women his own age OR guys who date young women are immature. Blah, blah, blah. They allege men are somehow taking advantage, when the reality as I’ve said before is that mostly it’s the younger woman who’s gaining advantage, whether social or economic or having an older mentor to help her, or all three.

We have a saying here that we leave women better than we found them, and for all the guys I know, we hold to that concept. A young woman BENEFITS by being with us, even if it’s just for the hot sex, but often in many other ways.

Default Friend is merely taking the slut/older guy shaming a step further by suggesting there’s such a thing as sex negativity, when what she’s really trying to do is foster it.

What follows is all anecdotal of course, but in the past two weeks, a student and former student have each had SDLs, another student had a second date lay, and a fourth had a third date lay. Since quarantine has ebbed, I myself have had sex with no less than four women, one who was 18 and another who I think was 23? And in just these past five months, Lord Connery, another former student, has banged like IDK, 7 or 8 chicks, and has something like 3-4 regulars–I can’t even keep track anymore. Plus there are lots of other guys all over the world in our community doing just fine and having lots of sex with beautiful, young women.

I guess someone forgot to tell women they were supposed to stop having sex with guys like us.

Oops! But that will never change because Cyndi Lauper was right–girls just want to have fun. And for hot, young chicks, there is perhaps nothing more fun and exciting than having sex with handsome, fit, confident older men.

And that terrifies women entering their epiphany stage and approaching the almighty wall, so what do we get: sex negativity, because they feel negative about sex and don’t want hotter and younger to be having it with HQ older guys.

A few caveats here:

  1. If relationships were a general win for men, most of this wouldn’t be necessary–but they’re not: the biggest reason there is so much anger in the red pill community. Like, if I’d been prepared to be a better husband and if my wife had been prepared to be a better wife and honored the vows she took in front of 100s of people having spent $30-40K on the wedding, I’d still be happily married and this blog wouldn’t exist. But men typically get screwed in relationships: even in the ones that don’t fail, the woman stops having sex with the guy and starts treating him like a second class citizen and his life is somewhat miserable putting up with that for as long as it lasts. Thanks goodness for women like @HoustonSub and @Himandi13 and many other women who are showing females that this is not the way things are supposed to be.
  2. Serial monogamy doesn’t work for guys like it does for chicks. Women can go from guy to guy from 18-34 with very little time spent where she’s un or under fucked. For men, however, doing monogamy is risky at best, because when it inevitably ends, we may not find another relationship for YEARS, and that’s to say nothing of quality, with OLD giving women an easy route to match with their equal or higher in terms of SMV, whereas guys often have to settle. So if you’re a guy who wants consistent sex with attractive women in 2021, you HAVE to learn game, and being non-mono is the only ethical option. I didn’t choose this life–it chose me. And that’s true of most guys who end up here.
  3. Instead of complaining and slut shaming and being anti-sex, what older women should do is compete. Women can stay very hot into their 30s, 40s, and some even into their 50s if they take care of their diet, fitness, femininity, and joie d’vivre instead of becoming fat, miserable, and difficult. BTW, that’s the EXACT same thing Red Pill/Game guys like me tell other men to do. That’s what this whole blog is about: don’t quit, learn to play the game, compete, get fit, use smart strategy, figure out what girls like and want, then win and help win as the great Balaji tells us!
  4. Sometimes you just get too old to do certain things–so you figure out something else to do. I used to be really good at baseball; it’s possible I could’ve gone pro if I’d worked harder (note the taking of responsibility–that’s important: it was MY FAULT, not anyone else’s). But I didn’t and now it’s too late. So I found other things to do with my life, like writing, spending time with my kid, learning to cook, reading, and of course, seducing young, beautiful women. Women like DF should do the same: instead of slut shaming and desperately trying to foster sex negativity, write a book! Invest in crypto! Do some psychedelics! I mean, I applaud the energy she’s undertaking to do the podcast and the blog, but when so much of that energy is just slut/player shaming under a different banner, I have no reason to pay attention anymore.

And neither do you if you like sex and want to have a fun, enjoyable life.

So I’m starting a new movement: life positivity. Let’s celebrate and foster the good things is life, like happiness, art, creativity, and of course, sex!

As always, thanks for reading!


  1. Ladies, be the best. You expect your man to be, why not you?

    Also, yes. Youthful and fertile. Many older women I know of, mostly divorcees, dont understand this. If you are an older woman, you offer a level of companionship and “fidelity”. Emotional instability writes this off. So does your inability to marry the right guy to begin with or not get knocked up by a rando. These things disprove you from being the best life partner you can be. (And no, not all of you are widows).
    It doesnt make me a “sicko” that I find nubile women attractive, it makes me evolutionary. I am a heterosexual and my genitals/reproductive system tells me, with an intense reward system, to get my genetic material out there.

    Liked by 1 person

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