I have sympathy for guys who have a hard time meeting women. I really do.
But understand: this is 97% of all guys for most of their lives. And the reason isn’t that they lack game (although probably that too).
It’s that they don’t care.
Even that 3% who gets laid–the true Chads?
They do well for a few years tops, mostly because they have a phenomenal ecosystem and happen to be very good looking. But even those guys aren’t racking up massive numbers of women–they’re doing well for a bit, then they get a girlfriend, then eventually they get married, and/or they get fat, and/or that ecosystem disappears. Even guys who are rock gods and movies stars only ever do so well: most of them end up with a girlfriend who captures them for extended periods and doesn’t want to share.
Remember, a woman chooses who to sleep with based on emotions, not rationality. The Red Pill and Game communities would not exist if women chose men based on cold, calculating, practical considerations. Point is: LOTS of guys can appear attractive to girls depending on her circumstances and perception, whereas the number of attractive girls is basically finite and unchanging–so randomly, at different points in life, a lot of guys can get lucky and end up with a hot chick for a time…and then she eventually breaks up with him…and then it may NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN…
Unless he intentionally makes a studied practice of meeting, dating, and seducing women. Unless he ACTIVELY LEARNS.
Field of Dreams was a good but ridiculous movie, but we have our own version in the Red Pill Community: the build it and She will come crowd–the notion that you can become a super cool, perhaps wealthy guy, and girls will flock to you. I often hear that guys should just talk to girls while out and about being “high value” men on their mission, but otherwise don’t worry about it. Just go about being high value.
They’ll never get good that way, and they won’t get laid very often, if at all. They’d be better off to get their work done, then go spend two to three hours in a row doing 10 sets back to back and hire a coach to help them.
Never Forget: this is a NUMBERS game first and foremost.
The first thing guys who want to do well with women need to learn, in terms of having continual abundance and relationships and sex with LOTS of women throughout life, is that this is a HUGE numbers game.
As I said above, girls are capricious and often not single–the hotter they are the more this is true. So if you want to date attractive women, you simply have to put yourself in front of as many as possible. You cannot escape this reality. Even sex club game, as popularized by RedQuest, means consistently putting yourself situations where there are lots of horny, hot women, where you don’t fuck most of them and you still need strong Game to fuck the ones you can.
In cold approach you need to be opening hundreds of girls. In OLD, you need 10s of 1000s to see your profile AND have great photos to get matches with mere 6s.
Never forget that a big part of game is insect level numbers. The more girls who see you as a sexual prospect, the more girls you will sleep with.
Separating the Wheat from the Chaff.
But it’s more than numbers, right, because once a girl decides she likes you, now you need to date and seduce her–a match or a number is not a girl in your bed. And guys who want to get really good at this need to date LOTS of women to develop a sense for how to interact in a way that will trigger her physical and emotional attraction.
Guys who want to get super fit and have trouble doing so hire a personal trainer. We pay for college when we want a degree to do a certain job. We were taught to read, write, and do math by teachers in school. Name almost any skill in life that you learned, and assuming you weren’t raised by wolves, it’s likely that some other, more knowledgable human taught you how to do that.
Moreover, chances are that when it comes to Game advice and women–unless you were VERY lucky and had a super red pill dad or older brother–the men in your life told you to buy girls flowers and be nice to them…
And that’s about it. You might have been told, “happy wife; happy life” as I was.
And what was your strategy in high school and college? Joining a fraternity and/or going to parties and getting drunk a lot, maybe using dating apps and IG–which is still the primary strategy guys use after college when they enter the workforce. Cool bro, keep swiping away.
Can you learn this on your own? Sure. This blog will always be free. There’s tons of information out there for guys who want to learn pick up, Game, seduction, etc.
But the fact is:
Most guys won’t learn this on their own.
Because change is hard, and it’s a lot easier to read blogs, watch YouTube, and buy books than it is to go out and talk to girls, and the latter is far superior to the former. Indeed a lot of guys are fucking experts on the rote knowledge of game, but they have no idea how to apply it with actual girls in real life. And until they hire a coach, pay for his time, and have skin in the game, they’ll keep “learning” and “working on inner game” and “becoming a better man” and “getting in better shape”–all of which will help, but none of which will turn the Game in their favor.
America is by nature a DIY kind of country, and Game is a DIY kind of thing. Guys don’t want to admit they can’t get laid, because it’s all supposed to be natural.
But it’s not.
No guy in history ever got laid a lot unless he was trying really hard to do just that. Why do you think Genghis Khan raped and pillaged? Why do you think Casanova pined so often–and is now famous?
I mean fuck, you’re reading this blog right now–why do you think I get laid a lot by hot chicks? The simple answer is that I’ve been at it for a long time and I’ve learned a lot and got good at it. And I’m a fucking crackhead in terms of learning stuff and doing and a massive extrovert–I have a lot of advantages in terms of baseline ambition and personality.
So can it be learned for free? Absolutely. And if you’ll actually take action and hold yourself accountable 100% then you should do it.
But I would’ve been where I’m at 10x faster if I’d been able to hire a coach to help me. My lay count would be at least double what it is, and I’d be even more skilled. Or fuck who knows–maybe I’d have met a hot young thing who would make the perfect Ms. RPD and I’d be retired by now?
I’m eternally grateful for guys like RedQuest, Nash, Magnum, Tom Torero, Todd V, and others for putting a lot of quality content out there for free, and for that reason I’m happy to continue in that fine tradition of players handing down knowledge–here are the top 15 blogs to read in terms of learning game in no particular order (you’ll note, not all are by me):
- Day Game for Newbies (RPD)
- Small City Day Game (Lee Cho)
- Mr. V’s Guide to Texting
- Attention is the only tool modern men have (RedQuest).
- Archetypes of guys women find attractive (RPD)
- Why you should be peacocking and how to do it (RPD)
- Fashion and clothes for players (RedQuest)
- Chicks want you to make the first move, so do it (RedQuest)
- Magnum’s First Date model (Magnum)
- Indoor Day Game (Midwest–technically an e-book, but still free)
- Sex clubs, non-monogamy, and Game (Redquest–also an e-book, but good shit about women generally even if you’re not into sex clubs or non-monogamy).
- Days of Game (Nash–any of his field reports, or really anything he writes: one of the most thoughtful guys in game, the Zen Master in many ways).
- Breeze (again, any–love this guy’s sense of humor and insights)
- Female Rejection and the Art of Game (Magnum)
- A letter to young guns starting to learn pick-up (Turk)
There are many other great blogs, like Thomas Crowne, Roy Walker, Krauser, Rob Says; YouTubers like Rian Stone, Todd V, James Tusk; writers like Rollo and Mystery, Krauser and Crowne here too (btw, the latter is a great name for a whisky–just sayin). You can read one of my students who’s getting laid like a warlord and probably become better at seduction and sex than I ever will.
And I’m forgetting a TON of other guys who also to this. Point is: the knowledge is out there. We’re not re-inventing the wheel here. This is a learnable skill. Lots of guys have proven that, including yours truly.
But that’s the point: it’s a LEARNED skill. If you aren’t learning–i.e. practicing this by actively applying knowledge and experience–you’re not going anywhere.
Again, the knowledge is out there–where’s the action?
Why aren’t you learning?
- You don’t know how to start or focus your efforts–the task itself seems too daunting.
- No one is holding you accountable for doing hard things or giving you the permission to fail.
That is why you hire a coach. You will shave YEARS off of this process by getting someone to help you.
Doesn’t have to be me.
Here’s a list of guys who can help you:
If you want to learn Dom/sub, talk to Turk.
And surely there are others–in fact, if I forgot your blog or podcast or Youtube or coaching service (I’d say Twitter but no, too much nonsense), reply in the comments and this can be a place guys can go for resources and coaching.
If you want my help, hit me up–even if you’re just curious and want a free 10 minute phone call to see if this is for you. Otherwise, throw me a few bucks on PayPal to support the cause, or sponsor me on Patreon.
Whatever you do–go talk to some girls today.
Tell them you think they’re pretty and have a fun, flirty conversation.
Then tell them you’d like to go on a date and ask for their number. After a day, text her and tell her out for a drink. If she says yes, set up the date and meet with her.
Meet, be cool, then take her home, put on a movie, and after 20 minutes or less, kiss her and escalate.
Go home after the drink, have her over for date two dinner at yours, then put on a movie after dinner, kiss her, and escalate.
If she says no, stop.
If she likes it, keep going.
Then get her on a bed, take off her clothes and fuck her.
That’s all Game is.
Much love brothers!