If she has a REASON, she’s way more likely to give the number, and much less likely to flake.
One of the best things about coaching is that my guys bring up situations and scenarios–and ask questions–that remind me of tactics and strategies I’ve forgotten about or stuff I do automatically without thinking about it.
The above is a perfect example. A client today was like: should I talk about a particular restaurant or place with the girl and then use that to pivot to a close and date plan?
I honestly forget where I first learned that–I think either Torero or RSD Jeffy. But it’s fucking brilliant and I don’t do it enough, although it’s also an example of something I do at times automatically without really thinking about it.
For example, while I was talking to the girl I number closed last Thursday, I brought up cooking, and told her I’d teach her how to make–you guessed it–risotto (btw, I do know how to make other shit–that one is just fun for the reasons I describe in the recipe and lay post).
Whether she comes out or not (still pinging), seeding the close/date is really good for three reasons:
- It’s a cool conversation–WHAT you’ve never been to a Cubs game? OMG, you haven’t tried the margaritas at XYZ? I love to cook–if I came over for dinner, what would you make me? Oh, gotcha–here’s what I’d make you.
- You’re giving the girl permission to give you her number. Whatever slut shaming or social pressure she feels, you’re disarming that–like, she can tell herself she’s just going for the margaritas after all, right? And if her friends ask her later, she can tell them just that.
- She has a good reason not to flake, because: A) she knows what’s going to happen–it’s not a surprise, and B) you’re showing yourself to be a guy who can invite her into a cool world. Like, you’re a guy who knows about and does cool shit.
Again, I sometimes do this without thinking about it–with the basketball girl SDL a few weeks back I made a point to show her around the city and tell her about all the cool restaurants and tourist sites and stuff.
I recommend guys have three things you can go to in terms of stuff you like, know, and/or are good at. For me it’s: cooking, tennis, and something outdoorsy. As in, I’ll bring that stuff up and if the girl seems interested, I’ll seed that as a reason to hang out–oh, you like tennis? Cool, we should totally play sometime.
This isn’t to say you have to do this every time or with every girl, but it’s a really powerful strategy for closing and then dating, plus it makes texting easier, because you have a topic you can play with.
Quick point on that: a lot of guys are overanalyzing their text game. Just text her about stuff you talked about in set or on the date or that you have in common, and then ask her on a date after a few pings back and forth.
Looking for YES girls in Night Game.
Not going to lie: last Friday night fucking sucked. Either my game was off or I was opening girls who didn’t like me–probably some of both. But at the end of the evening I’d had only two good interactions, and even those didn’t end in numbers. This is why having a hot young girlfriend who can pick you up when you’re out and doesn’t care is fantastic.
As I mention in the tweet, part of this was due to venue choice, which, other than there being quite a few hot chicks (when the ratio is 2:1 or worse, which in this case it was like 3:1, it almost doesn’t matter–it’s going to be really hard), was bad. But a good player is always calibrating, and fact is, my approaches were too sloppy and haphazard–which my new wing MagicD pointed out–I was like a puppy dog: so excited to see that many hot chicks that I just went nuts and was too strong and direct with my approaches.
Day and night game are a lot more similar than most guys think, but one key point of difference is that in day game the attraction must be stated pretty explicitly–I think you’re cute/sexy/pretty–or you risk her not understanding what’s going on and having a conversation to nowhere because she has a BF or just isn’t interested.
In night game however, the attraction is implied, and if you tell her she looks good, well fuck I mean she knows that right–that’s what every other goon in the bar is telling her constantly because they’re staring at her tits. Anyway, I think I signaled too strongly that I was interested and need to dial it back a bit. That’s what happens though when they shut our economy down for a year: you get fucking rusty, am I right?
But another thing I was reminded of working with my client today is that in night game, as I’m opening loops and groups and being social and alpha, what I’m looking for are YES girls who are signaling a strong attraction to me.
Think about it this way: she got super dressed up, spent an hour doing her makeup, put on clothes that aren’t terribly comfortable, is showing a lot of skin, is out late drinking…why? I’ll give you a hint: it’s NOT because she was hoping to be ignored all night.
Like, girls go out at night–especially on the weekends–to get attention from guys they like. Which means that if you’re giving her attention: you’ve opened, are talking, etc., and she seems uninterested or bored aka hasn’t “hooked”, you should bail on her–don’t burn the bridge; just be polite “nice talking with you”–and go talk to other girls.
Because if she likes you, she’s going to WANT your attention and show you she wants it. The unfortunate truth is that there are a lot of time wasters in Night Game, who either have BFs or just want the attention without any intention of giving a number, etc., and the player needs to be actively sorting through who’s out to tease, and who’s out for real.
Timing really fucking matters in Night Game, and later is far better.
Now, an important point here is that this is highly variable depending on timing. At the beginning of the night, girls are going to be flightier, bitchier, and less approachable. Because in her mind there’s a hypothetically cooler guy she needs to reserve room for, and if she’s talking to you, she can’t talk to him.
But as the night wears on and alcohol is consumed, gradually the girls are going to be more pliable–some attention after all is better than no attention, and at some point she’s going to become far less picky and capricious as a result.
Indeed, a good way for day gamers to get into night game is to run gutter game. Starting at 11pm or so, walk streets in areas where there are a lot of bars or night clubs: lots of girls will be out, and many of them will drunk. It’s a perfect bridge between the two modalities.
Admittedly, this is another reason guys don’t like night game: because to do it well, you really DO need to stay out late. This sounds almost stupidly basic, but if you’re the last dick standing and a girl likes you, you have a very good chance of pulling or going home with her, or at the very least a make-out with what’s going to be a strong lead.
So if you can manage to suck it up, the truth is that being out late and relatively sober on any night lots of girls are out will yield results. Because again–and this is kinda secret society stuff here–a lot of girls GO OUT specifically because they are open to fucking THAT NIGHT.
And you being that guy is exactly what she wants.
If you want to learn how to be that guy, along with how to optimize OLD, how to get better at day or night game, and how to become a more confident guy who has better conversations with everyone, hit me up for some coaching. I promise you will get way better way faster by hiring someone to help.
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As always, thanks for reading!