“Don’t shit where you eat.”
This is the common response you’ll get from a lot of guys when asked about hitting on chicks at the gym, work, or local watering hole. And in general it’s good advice: guys should be careful about running game any place they’re going to spend a lot of time.
It’s a lesson I learned early. When I first started learning Game and Red Pill, I blew up a social circle by making out with a chick who was bi but acting like a lesbian (I wanted to see if my masculine dominance could overpower her social conditioning, and in the end, it could–but at a stupid cost), and there’s at least one bar in my city I can’t go back to because I went there too often, hit on too many chicks, and when one of them finally complained, I got the old 86.
Most guys wouldn’t want to admit this kind of stuff, but I’ll say what I’ve become so fond of saying these days: kill your ego. When you’re learning game–hell, even when you’re pretty damn advanced as I am–you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. You’re going to weasel, have dates to nowhere, fail to escalate properly, blow approaches, get blown out, and occasionally–although very rarely if you have some social acuity–it’s possible a chick you hit on is going to get pissed and tell on you like a damn six year old kid.
Someone wiped your ass for the first five to six years of life, right? You farted in class, got caught trying to shoplift, broke into your friend’s dad’s liquor cabinet, or did some other number of stupid shit on the way to becoming a man, and if we’re honest, a lot of us still do stupid shit from time to time. Like, RedQuest and I often kid each other that we’re too old to be this stupid…and yet, he and I have both gone full retard several times in the last year.
Who fucking cares?
Point is, we all make mistakes, but the guys who get good at Game LEARN FROM THEM.
The posturing accounts on Twitter want you to believe they’re perfect Alpha Gods who’ve been Red Pilled and rock solid from day one, but that’s not how humans work–the truth is that most are either half-lying or full on frauds, and whatever they’re doing they’re omitting the mistakes they’ve made along the way and continue to make, which is a shame because it is by making mistakes and failing that allows us to learn, move forward, and win.
Anyway, on the idea of not shitting where you eat, here’s a useful analogy:
You either have one bullet, six bullets, or unlimited ammo.
The beauty of cold approach, when done in most bars or on the streets of any big city, is that your approach can go really bad–like the girl could be genuinely offended (although this should not generally be the result, and if it is, you need some help)–and it doesn’t matter.
Because no one you care about or know will ever know, and let’s remind everyone once again: it’s not illegal to tell a girl she’s pretty and ask her on a date, and IT NEVER WILL BE.
This is the case in most day situations, and even in night game, if a few girls are bitchy and it doesn’t seem good, you can just go to another bar–there’s no reason to stay in a venue where you can’t do what you want. And whatever happens, it’s extremely unlikely you’re going to see her again.
In those cases where there’s no rhyme or reason to believe the girl you’re talking to will EVER be a part of your life–unless she happens to like you–and even then if you date and sleep with her, you can still walk away with very few social consequences.
So in big city day or night game, shoot your shot and don’t spare any bullets. You’re basically invincible.
On the other hand, say it’s a local bar you go to a lot. Like, you watch sports there and know the waitresses’ names and invite friends to meet, etc.
In that environment, you’re carrying a six shooter.
You can ask a waitress out–maybe even two. You can hit on some of the customers if you want from time to time. But in the course of a year, you got about six to ten times you can do that before someone is going to get annoyed and complain.
Remember, one strategy people have re: sex is to stop it from happening. If they can’t have it, they don’t want anyone else to either–this is the nature of the cock block. She’s not really concerned about her friend: she’s jealous she didn’t get any attention and is going to work overtime to prevent better stock than hers from breeding.
Why did I ultimately get kicked out of the bar I mentioned above? Because I went there too often and THEY KNEW I was a player who got laid a lot–I would sometimes run dates there as well. You think the male bartenders with their stupid Rolly Fingers mustaches liked that? Hell no! They thought being a skinny feminist hipster with a ghey-ass mustache was supposed to work, and here comes this guy with short hair and big muscles and tight shirts wearing ridiculous sunglasses pulling hot tail from their bar…no, they didn’t like that, and when a dumb girl complained when I negged her too hard, they had their excuse. Therein lies the lesson: if you throw this shit in people’s faces too much, they’re going to get mad.
And then, they’re going to complain. Because that’s what weak people who can’t compete do–if you’re on Twitter, you surely know that.
But ultimately it was my fault. I was young and green and a little drunk with the new powers I’d discovered and I forgot that time and place always matters.
So in addition to your home bar or coffee shop, at the gym, at a large party, at a smaller venue of mostly randoms, or even in a smaller town, you’re carrying a six shooter–it’s fine to ask a few girls out, but make it calibrated and socially congruent; don’t treat it like a day game session in the middle of NYC.
In some cases you’ve got only one shot.
In a social circle, a small coffee shop, or a truly intimate bar–you might only get one shot at hitting on a chick. Maybe two.
Now, here’s the deal: I want you to take it. You should take it. But once it’s done, it’s done. And there’s no going back. Because in those very close knit social situations–where it’s certain you’ll see the same people again and again–rejection is really bad.
Like, that’s why we feel AA. Because in most situations throughout human history, getting rejected or being socially awkward was horrible. If you went around trying to fuck every girl in the tribe, that was bad–people didn’t like that, and eventually the tribe would reject you in a time when exile meant death.
So like, say at the doctor’s office there’s a super hot receptionist or another patient: go ahead and ask for her number if you feel the mojo. But whatever she says, that’s it. You don’t get to hit on chicks at that doctor’s office EVER again. Same is true of baristas at a coffee shop, and generally of waitresses–remember, those girls are going to talk to each other: if you ask one of them out, every one who works there is going to know. So it’s fine to do it once–again, socially congruent and calibrated–but you only get one shot.
Another point here is that you shouldn’t be running game all the time everywhere you go. Like yeah, be friendly, be social, be alpha, but if you’re telling every woman you see you think she’s cute regardless of the time and place, that’s ridiculous and you’re going to eventually get into trouble. It’s also not necessary.
Because in 2021, we have almost unlimited opportunity to hit on as many girls as we want…provided you’re smart about it and understand the setting and circumstances.
Which brings me to Trump.
Trump: frame control–answer the questions you want to answer.
This isn’t political, but as a study of how a guy can handle questions and adversity, as well as holding frame, there are fewer better examples than President Trump.
To start, did he ever honestly answer questions he didn’t want to answer? No. He acknowledged, then pivoted to whatever it was he wanted to talk about–as you should, whether in pick up, or on dates. Trump treated the media like a massive shit test. And in some ways it was and it worked.
You should do the same in game.
If a girl asks a question you don’t want to answer, for God’s sake don’t answer it.
- Agree and Amplify
- Dismiss and Disqualify
The last point is particularly important, because a lot of guys don’t have the true coldness in them to do it.
But imagine, if a girl brings up not having sex: “we’re not having sex” (aka, we are having sex if you don’t fuck it up), and instead of saying, “I know” and ignoring as I usually do (and then fucking them anyway), you say: “I bet you’re not even that good in bed.”
That is money right there. You just put a bug in her head that makes her almost HAVE to have sex with you so long as you’re not a total goober.
Additionally, if you’re ever accused of anything, like Trump, just deny it. Fake News!
“No, I didn’t sleep with that barely legal teen.”
“No, I didn’t hit on every girl in the restaurant.”
“No, I didn’t just snort a line of cocaine.”
“No, that isn’t my dick in your daughter.”
Honestly, why ever admit to anything? Is honesty ever rewarded? Truly?
The answer is mostly no.
Some guys get uncomfortable when I go Dark Triad, and I’m sure it turns the white knights like Dr. Bly and true tradcons off.
Tough shit: parts of me are Dark Triad. I am a Sith Lord and Slytherin. I live in Mordor, a high captain of Sauron, holder of one of the Rings of Men. And one of my favorite teachers is Machiavelli.
Because it’s good to be smart. To use the wits we’re given. To use strategy and think many moves ahead. Isn’t that why God gave us these big, beautiful brains?
And isn’t that the best for everyone anyway? Like, if your intentions are good, and you’re doing good stuff, why not pull at every lever to accomplish that goal? I’m not a huge Trump guy (more in the middle–and don’t even start me on how fucked up the Democrats are), but I do like the fact he was going to do everything he could to tilt the wheel in his favor.
So should you.
Guys get squeamish about dating younger women, telling chicks about their age or about kids or whether they want to be long term or how much money they make or don’t make, blah, blah, blah–fuck that shit man.
Do what you want. Tell her what you want to tell her. I don’t think it’s s a great idea to lie about stuff because that’s eventually going to catch up to you, but you’re also not getting any points for being Mr. Honesty, and that shit certainly won’t get you laid. Women have their games and we have ours; let the chips fall where they may.
The only hard and fast lines guys shouldn’t cross are age of consent and consent itself–otherwise play ball.
And this applies to more than just women.
You should flex to get what you want in life, and fight like hell until that happens. Doesn’t mean you need to do anything nefarious or underhanded–and it certainly won’t help to be angry all the time, or an asshole–but don’t accept the traditional frame society throws at you. Hell, don’t accept the frame some corners of TRP want to throw at you.
If you want to date women half your age, do it.
If you want to date single moms, do it.
If your kink is wearing a Kiss mask during sex, do it.
If you want to learn just enough game to get a girlfriend who maybe turns into a wife, do it.
If cold approach is too far beyond what you’re willing to do for chicks, use OLD and maximize its effectiveness.
But whatever you do, keep two things in mind:
- Accept the consequences. For example, if you date women significantly younger than you, some people in society will think you’re a scumbag. Who cares? The actual truth is they’re just jealous and have some deep misogynistic programming they need to rewire, but it is what it is–you’re not going to change their minds. The good news is you don’t need to.
- Hold the frame. If I was nervous about dating younger women–or being a single dad, or exploring BDSM, or doing day or night game–the girls I meet and date would care about that stuff too and it would be an issue. But I don’t care, so it’s not. My frame is that I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing and ought to be doing, and I’m fucking elated. I love doing what I’m doing.
I guess that’s maybe the most important point: your frame can be whatever you want, but the truer it is to who you are the easier it will be to hold on to, and the more genuine you’ll appear to other people.
Good luck out there fellas, and if you want help with any of this, from Day Game to OLD to Red Pill to holding frame, dating, escalating, sex, etc–hit me up for some coaching and we’ll make it happen.