Would you rather be a woman?
I think I started a previous blog with that line of questioning–or it’s come up like that–but it’s worth revisiting.
Would you rather be a woman?
And let’s think of this question given the perceived difficulties in Game guys like to cite as massive if not insurmountable obstacles:
- Social Media
- Smart phones
- High levels of flaking
Now, first, let me just say this: these are big problems in terms of any one individual woman, and in the larger scope, with women as a whole. Anyone who says otherwise is lying, a fool, or both. Women are pickier, flightier, squirrelier, and generally more unreasonable that at anytime previous to this in history.
On the other hand, they’re also a lot more likely to fuck you the same day, same night, or on the first date, than ever before too.
So it cuts both ways.
Are women targeting only the top 10% of guys more than ever? Yes. But what does that mean for you? It should mean that you need to do the work to get into that top 10%. The good news is that if you get super fit and dress well, plus have a decent job, congrats, you’re in the top 10% of guys almost anywhere.
But understand, even if you’re in that top tier, you’re going to get a lot of flakes. The big lie, both in the Red Pill community as well as conventional society, is that top guys don’t get flaked on–and that’s just bullshit. Any guy who’s getting regular sex from lots of girls is also getting flaked on…A TON! So don’t take it personally and focus on generating more leads.
Think of the SMP from a woman’s perspective.
Let’s say you’re a 7+ who’s 24, so not super hot, but hot enough that you don’t lack for male attention. EVER.
When you’re on OLD, you match with almost every guy, and when you go out to places where people drink, guys sometimes hit on you (although probably rarely during the day, which is where day game offers an advantage). However, it’s not all sunshine and roses. A lot of the times on OLD, one of two things happens for girls:
- The guy is kind of a goober, can’t talk, is awkward, etc.
- The guy is a smooth Chad, fucks you, and then ghosts or fades away pretty quickly, because he’s an 8+ or a 9 and can do this indefinitely.
In addition, she’s probably part of a social circle that contains guys who want to date her as well, but the guys in it she really wants are already dating her friends, and the guys who will date her are second tier. And like so many girls today, she’s super flaky and spends lots of time taking pictures of herself and posting to IG or Tik-Tok, getting false validation and feeling pretty arrogant about her SMV. Finally, she’s not really sure what to do with her life, other than to follow the general social narrative of going to school, working, etc., but wants to put off marriage and kids until later.
So what does she do? What’s girl default?
Fun. Her life is structured around fun events and doing things with friends and family. There’s no real mission or purpose–she’s just enjoying life and accepts the other stuff re: men as the way things are.
But what she also doesn’t realize–what most girls don’t realize–is that by being so flaky, she’s missing out on HQ guys and whatever fun and/or value they might bring to the table. The problem for women is that they don’t realize quite how rare HQ guys are (I think this is eventually going to flip btw), and by introducing flaking into the equation, they’re making it even less likely that they’ll run into one of those guys–adding randomness and chaos to a system where success (meeting a HQ guy) is unlikely, only serves to make success less likely by an almost exponential factor.
I’ve told this story before, but I know a girl who almost ghosted her now husband/father of her baby. Her life is MASSIVELY different and worse (likely, she’s still single and getting older) if she ghosts him. And that story plays out again and again and again every day for girls, because who knows if the guy she happens to flake on is rich, semi-famous, super interesting, or even just has a big dick and fucks good. Maybe he’s a guy who can fulfill her fantasies of BDSM or take her to sex clubs? Maybe he’s a guy who can teach her something about business, help her launch a product line, introduce her to modeling, or get her a job somewhere? Maybe the chemistry is just right and she can even convince a player like me or you to hang it up, settle down, and have kids?
All of these things are possible, and yet the number of guys out there who can do any of the above is small. And girls have to hope through random passive chance and luck that it happens, even as they self-sabotage by flaking on huge numbers of potential suitors.
But to her, none of this is ever taken into consideration. If she doesn’t feel like dating you, she’s not going to–so she flakes. Even assuming she really liked you in the moment she gave her number, if, when you ping her and she has any doubts whatsoever, or just doesn’t feel good about you or her life or any number of other things, she’s not coming out.
Guys need to accept that fact, move on, and go talk to more girls and/or get on the apps and start swiping and messaging. And KNOW GOING IN, that a large percentage–probably half or so of the numbers you take via day/night game, and quite a bit more than that if you’re using OLD–are going to flake right away or after a few messages, and most aren’t going to come out on a date.
Because girls flake. It’s what they do.
So get over it guys–focus on what you can control.
On topic of flaking, highly recommend reading Magnum’s post on how to decrease flakes and also not let them drive you crazy.
Things you can do to make it less likely she’ll flake:
The first question you should ask yourself is: did she flake because your game was sub-optimal in some way, OR because she’s a girl and girls flake?
A good example is what happened with two girls I number closed back on 4th of July Weekend: the first wearing a teal bikini at the beach, the second a smokeshow college chick I met at a club. They ultimately flaked, but I know my game in both sets was good. The girls were entertained, laughing, and hooked strong, asking me questions and playing along in the set.
So they just flaked and that’s that–I need to go talk to more girls.
On the other hand, there are reasons girls might flake after giving a number. Keep in mind, a lot of times girls will give the number simply to end the interaction, with no intention of coming out–and in that situation, in speaks to the fact that the player needs better game in set.
Here’s a checklist of questions guys should ask when a girl flakes:
- Was the set super short?
- Did you stack properly, do some story telling, and otherwise demonstrate high value?
- Did you tease her and flirt?
- Did you make your intentions clear, either by opening directly or telling her she was pretty shortly after you opened indirectly?
- Did you ground the set by telling her about yourself to show you’re a normal guy who’s employed, safe, etc?
- Did you seed the date by talking about what you’re going to do in the set?
- Did you pass her shit tests (“do you do this all the time?”; “how old are you?”)?
- Did you take her IG or social media instead of a phone number?
If the answer is “no” to any of the above (or yes in the last case), then she’s more likely to flake and you should work to incorporate those aspects into your Game in the future.
Because that is all you can do–the only thing you can control is what you’re bringing to the table.
The other thing to consider is your SMV. If you’re approaching girls +2 or 3 of your SMV, it’s going to be really tough, which is why it’s incredibly important to get your fitness in order, develop an archetype, and have some flash aka peacocking aspects of your look.
All of this stuff is where having a coach can really help. On the intake call, we do a thorough assessment of where you’re at and how to improve–and then after that, we continue to dial in how guys are approaching, how they’re getting numbers, texting strategy, plus dating and escalation on the date.
If you want help, hit me up! Otherwise, thanks for reading!