Let’s just address the elephant in the room: lately I’ve been making a lot of noises about the efficiency and effectiveness cold approach in the US and post-COVID, so let me just clarify what I mean:
- Cold approach will always be king for the true player. It is the ultimate skill: a perfect expression of the power of Game. A guy who can talk to a random girl in the street, a coffee shop, or in a bar, will have a massive advantage in nearly every other aspect of his life–not just with women, but in his other relationships, every social gathering, in business, etc.
- Cold approach–day game in particular–gives us access to certain sub groups of girls, particularly introverts, travelers, girls new to town, and more independent, adventurous types. But we have to admit that there are also sub groups who DO NOT respond well to cold approach, whether because they only date guys within their social circle or because they prefer OLD or because they’re basic AF and can’t get past the idea of the random approach–OR BECAUSE THEY HAVE BFS/ARE MARRIED!
- Though we can make slight adjustments on who/where we approach, the truth is that cold approach is a blunt practice: all we can really do is go talk to pretty girls–many of whom aren’t in play for reasons I just mentioned. So while cold approach allows a man to present himself at his very best–the apex of his SMV–the fact is we’re also going to talk to a lot of girls we never had a chance with from the start, regardless of how good our game is.
- The circumstances and social dynamics in play in London and the EU–especially Eastern Europe–where the LDM was forged, simply aren’t present in the US…and I imagine elsewhere, like Australia and parts of Western Europe. So the question is: are there better, more effective ways to run a set? Are there different points of value to emphasize that lead to more numbers, fewer flakes, and stronger hooks? The LDM works for sure–it’s what I mostly use and what I teach my clients–but it would be silly not to think about ways to improve what we’re doing.
- Bottom line: YOU HAVE TO LEARN COLD APPROACH. And you should be out talking to girls at least once a week, whether day or night game. However, it’s not a silver bullet that’s going to solve all of your problems with women. Guys should do what they want, but sourcing women purely through cold approach–which I did from Fall 2018 through Winter 2019 (a few lays through social media, but I wasn’t on dating apps)–requires a lot of time and effort (and that was before COVID when the SMP was more open and girls were more likely to be sluts). It can be done, but again, the question is: how can we make meeting, seducing, and having relationships with hot, young women as easy as possible? That is the question I’m trying to answer–I have some ideas and things I’m going to experiment with, but right now it’s theory; I have to see how it works IRL before I start evangelizing the virtues of a new style of Game.
The larger point is that if you want the side of Red Pill and Game that is dogmatic, unchanging, and lacks creativity, I’m not your guy. On the other hand, if you want someone who’s trying to build something better, more modern, more effective and efficient, let’s fucking go!
Night game fail: feminine girl goes woke and cock blocks herself.
The last proper night I went out I tweeted this:
Part (maybe most?) of that was pure frustration with a particular girl. She’d given me a big IOI across the bar, then ended up sidling over nearby to order a drink. I opened with a tease that she looks like a whiskey girl, not a lemon drop. At first she wrinkled her nose, but wearing my player’s grin I said, “don’t worry–I mean that in the best possible way.”
She sat down and we talked for awhile–she was there by herself and all about the line dancing, to the point where she got up when a certain song came up and said, “I have to go dance–come over and watch me.” Normally you’d expect the girl to invite you to dance with, but in line dancing if you don’t know the whole routine you’re just going to look like an idiot and get in the way, so I was happy to chill and watch as the girls danced.
After, we started swing dancing together. I took the lead, spinning her around, she showed me how to lead a few new moves, and everything seemed really good. I was stoked: a hot big titty blonde girl, seemingly super feminine, alone at a bar on a Friday night, and my apartment right up the street when she was ready to pull.
But as we got off the dance floor, the topic of masculine/feminine came up (re: dancing and leading), and then she went full woke: masculine and feminine aren’t real, blah, blah, blah, “I shouldn’t have come to a Trump bar”, etc. I tried to save it by moving on to something else, but clearly not well enough. It was honestly shocking to hear someone say something so incongruous given the context of the situation–like, why was she attracted to me? Because I’m a big, strong man. Why does she like dancing–why were almost all the people on the dance floor during the line dancing chicks? Because feminine women like dancing. What was just happening? We were dancing in a way that recognizes a masculine lead and a feminine follow.
So to have her then deny all of those realities was bizarre to the point where I didn’t even try that hard to salvage it (you also know, if you’ve been around enough women, that sometimes you step in a hole there’s no getting out of and you’re better off to just move on)–after a few minutes I just said, “It was nice meeting you, have a good night.”
The night game fail continued when, after 15 minutes of talking and flirting, the next girl I talked to gave me her number and then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend in the next breath. She’d love to go on a date, “but I can’t.”
“Quarantine boyfriend?” I asked.
See? Even girls know the score.
Anyway, my tweet was over the top (if you guys can’t tell, my Achilles Heel is that I sometime get a bit emotional–something I’m working on to become more stoic); I think night game can still work , but as RedQuest has written recently, cold approach is tougher now than it was prior to COVID. As long as people continue to not get vaccinated, the government is going react to spikes of infections with masking, bullshit lockdowns, etc., and the media’s going to sell doom and gloom. So I guess if your attachment to political nonsense (billions of people have been vaccinated at this point–if something was truly wrong with the vaccines, we’d know by now) is more important than your desire to live a normal life and have sex with hot, young women, don’t get vaccinated and continue being a tinfoil hat wearing political maniac.
Otherwise, sack up and stop being a pussy.
Game on easy mode at a wedding: a window into the abundance of social circle.
Luckily the next night I went to a wedding where my game totally redeemed itself.
Opening, flirting, and having great conversations with all kinds of people–especially the pretty girls in attendance–was EASY. Part of that was obviously due to the situation: in a wedding, you’re pre-selected in essence, right? You’ve been chosen to attend for some presumably good reason. But that combined with having true cold approach skills made the entire event a joy.
Since you’re wondering: alas, I did not get laid that night–although I did make out with a very hot young little blonde with one of the nicest asses I’ve laid hands on in a while. It was classic game–the hand of God for the kiss close:
Me, smiling, holding out my hand: “Come with me I want to show you something.”
She takes my hand, blushing, “what is it?”
“I’ll show you, come on.”
And then I led her around the building away from the lights, backed her against a wall, and kissed her. It honestly can be as simple as that guys–she might not give you a sign or a signal, you just have to go for it and trust that she wants you to make the move. Remember: always assume the attraction! Unfortunately she lives across the country, she didn’t come to the after party, and I had no logistics to go any further than a long and lovely make out.
Additionally, I got mutual follows from perhaps a dozen IGs, and also managed several numbers, one of whom is still in play (the bride’s hot sister no less).
But to me the point of the whole experience was both how powerful game can be in the right environment, and why we, as players, should be looking to spend more time in those environments. Obviously, one can’t attend a wedding every week, but there’s no reason why guys can’t be throwing more parties, attending more events such as concerts, shows, banquets, etc., where there’s some element of that same pre-selection present, or at the very least a plausible connection or commonality shared with the women in attendance.
Like at a concert, admittedly, all you have to do is buy a ticket–but presumably you like the same band, right? Same is true of an art show, a fundraiser, or any sort of party. I had a great chat with Mr. Blackwing yesterday about how all you need to have a great conversation with almost anyone is a thread of shared experience or interest. Things like where someone went to college or grew up, sports they played, books they read, music they like, people they know, movies/shows you’ve both seen–what I look for is a topic of conversation (which is why we do the assumption stack in the LDM) where I can get the person to talk about themselves, who they are, etc.
Sometimes I think the concept of Game as it’s understood by outsiders or even perhaps some in this community is that it’s a performance and therefore not real or genuine–that it’s somehow fake or cheap because of that.
But that’s entirely wrong.
GOOD GAME is both real and genuine. It is a joyful experience. People love when someone gives them compliments and pays attention to them. They love when a person is genuinely interested in who they are and wants to find out what they’re passionate about. The wedding was better because I was there. I got chicks out on the dance floor, spun them around, made them laugh, befriended their friends, husbands, boyfriends, made connection between strangers, took pictures and sent them to the parties involved. Did I want to fuck some of the girls in attendance and did I try to the extent I could in a calibrated way? OF COURSE I DID–I’m RPD ballers! But what our society seems to have a hard time remembering is that girls WANT to be seduced and fucked if it’s done well and discreetly.
By the way, it’s possible I seeded the idea of the after party (unfortunately none of the hot, single girls came) simply by mentioning it to one of the groom’s good friends from college who was staying at an AirBnB in town–they had the space and logistics, and it was a good time despite the lack of single girls.
Which is why when it’s all said and done, guys should learn cold approach. Because if you can open a random girl on the street or in a coffee shop or grocery store, imagine what you can do at the company Christmas Party or a music festival or a friend’s barbecue–or the next wedding you attend!
This was the first time I’d been to a wedding since learning game, and it was a fucking magical experience–so much fun, and unbelievably productive both in terms of women and building out my social network. To bring it back to actionable advice it confirmed much of what I’ve been thinking about recently:
- Players would do well to build out their social circle and both create and seek out more of these kinds of events. Parties are good. Being a loner is not. And it’s not just about getting women–part of it is simply meeting new people, having great conversations, and most importantly, a good time! In my experience, anything that makes you a more fun, joyful person is going to help you in all aspects of life, especially with women.
- Cold approach day or night game is essential to building our skills as players, but to the extent we can we should seek out situations where the approach is a bit warmer if possible. Even something as simple as going to a holiday bizarre (credit Breeze and Mr. V), farmers’ market, street fair, etc. can increase your chances of getting a number from a girl who’s more likely to respond and come out. In night game, a bar where you can sing karaoke or play pool or darts with girls is far greater in terms of your chance to number close or pull than a loud, stupid club where the girls are bitchy and probably already spoken for.
- The London Day Game model works, but it’s worth thinking about other modes of conversation–something Mr. Blackwing and I are brainstorming about and working on currently. Is there a better way to approach girls, especially American girls or girls who aren’t traveling or super feminine? We think there is…and to the guys who say, well I don’t want to change–OK. Don’t. As I always say, you do you. But remember, the red pill is about understanding the world as it is and then adapting our strategy as men to get the most out of it. We’re not going to change the nature of American women, who as we know are masculine, independent, and oftentimes quite squirrely. But we can figure out a better way to interact with them so as to affect better outcomes. If you don’t want to do that: cool. More for me and my guys.
Final thought going back to the absolutely stupid girl at the country bar: it seems like the concept of masculine vs. feminine has become nuclear for a lot of girls–at least this is certainly true in the US. Now, the underlying truth hasn’t changed: women still want a calm, confident, masculine man who will lead, make decisions, and fuck them hard when the time comes. But calling this out, or demonstrating this too overtly, even if it’s implicit, seems to have become a trip wire in game. I’ve seen this in my own experience, both explicitly (as with the above), as well as implicitly. I guess another way of putting this is that the very concept of gender norms has become political (because our stupid fucking society has decided that everything is now political, even vaccines), and as we all know, we don’t want to talk politics when it comes to seduction. I expect I’ll have more thoughts on this as things develop, so stay tuned. But for now consider yourself warned. It’s like Fight Club: be masculine, strong, confident, and powerful, but don’t talk about it.
Excited to hit the streets this weekend and try some new techniques and strategies in my day game approach–will update next week. As always, if you want help with any of this stuff, hit me up for coaching! Regardless: go talk to some girls today.