But so many guys quit!
Was speaking with a client (Mr. Pips–who came to visit recently) today for our weekly chat, and he’s balling out–tons of leads, multiple dates last week, this coming week, and some chicks that are super keen to hang out after good first dates.
…all from OLD–I think mainly Hinge.
But the reason his dates have gone so well goes back to day game. He’s been working on cold approach for a long time, and I’ll be honest, it hasn’t been easy. If you’re shy, or an introvert–as he is–going up and talking to random girls on the street is scary. Not jumping into cold water scary or a big exam scary: breath sucking, heart-racing, terrifying scary. Paralyzing even.
So we started with small projects, 66 day challenges, baby steps, and now Mr. Pips is proficient–still a beginner, but good enough to see some positive signs. He’s taking numbers, has had a few dates, and I know if he keeps going he’ll eventually get that first day game lay. And I know he’ll keep going, because he works hard and doesn’t quit, even though I’m sure he’s wanted to at times.
But he’s done this long enough now that it’s changed who he is and how he interacts with women. The tone of his voice and speech are more confident. He now longer worries that he won’t have anything to say, because he knows he’ll figure it out, and to that point, one of the things I was able to help with was the knowledge that he’s got a ton to say–he’s a smart, interesting guy. Anyway, he’s a far friendlier, more social person than prior to our work together, and I give him all the credit: he’s put in the hard work and confronted those demons that haunt most guys who try to learn cold approach, especially day game.
And that translates to his dating life now, even though he’s using OLD right now to source leads (super busy with his work at the moment).
This is the point I’ve been trying to make recently, however ineffectively: in 2021, given the state of the SMP, guys would do well to procure great pics (hire a pro) and get on the apps–there’s simply no way even a hardworking day gamer can compete with the sheer volume of women it’s possible to cycle through using the power of smart phones and the internet. Let’s face it: this is how most people meet now, and the unfortunate truth is that a lot of girls prefer OLD to cold approach, because that’s the Basic AF nature of many American women and their degenerate relationship to smart phones. Look ma, I can scroll and take pictures of myself!
All that said, there is no way in hell I’m putting all my eggs in the app basket–and you shouldn’t either. Because even if your day game numbers flake, even if you can’t get out there very often, the simple act of doing it: learning how to make a conversation out of nothing, growing big enough balls to talk to a random stranger, developing entertaining stories to tell, learning to flirt, create sexual tension, hold strong eye contact, project confidence, powerful body language, etc–all the things we talk about when it comes to cold approach–MAKES YOU BETTER AS A MAN. Especially with women, however you meet them.
Indeed, another client was asking me yesterday: do you tell stories on the approach or date?
Do you flirt and qualify on the approach or date?
Should I be escalating, whether kino or verbal, on the approach or date?
Fact is, almost all the things you learn when you learn cold approach are going to apply when you go out on dates, and much of it applies when that girl you’ve been seeing turns into a fuck-buddy, girlfriend, etc. Cold approach is simply the biggest force multiplier there is for guys who want to get good with women, and as multiple clients say when we have our first call and I ask them why they want to learn how to do this: It’s part of becoming a real man.
Now, does that mean you shouldn’t develop a strong social circle or take advantage of OLD? No–of course not. Why not explore any and every modality that can help you meet beautiful women? I can’t think of any good reasons, but I also know that your quality and results will be far better if you’ve learned how to go talk to that pretty girl in the coffee shop, grocery store, or on the street.
Redquest sourced most of his lays and success in game through sex clubs, but he also knew how to approach. XBTUSD also does most of his work through sex clubs, but has found he’s more effective at every party or event because he’s learning to open and have conversations with random people–especially hot girls. Magnum learned day and night game first, before he figured out it was simply more efficient for him to get leads online. Pancake Mouse continues to rack up lays on the apps, but he’s also been approaching a ton this summer on his travels. Even the mighty Roy Walker, when the going got tough due to COVID, used Tinder to good effect. And Mr. Blackwing is having himself a very strong year, which began with working on his day game and having good success through that, even as he still uses apps and social circle to meet women as well.
Because the biggest force multiplier in game always has been, and always will be: cold approach.
But RP, it’s scary. I can’t do it. I don’t think I’ll ever get over my social anxiety.
If that’s your frame then it’s true.
But no one ever did anything great that was easy, because by definition if it was easy, it wouldn’t be all that great, right? That said, I’m not going to downplay the fear. It’s real. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.
So how do we do this? How can cold approach become manageable and less scary? How do we crush that social anxiety? Through consistent, intentional learning, celebrating success, embracing failure, and breaking the process down into simpler acts and practices. That and NEVER FUCKING QUIT.
Maybe you have to start small, like Mr. Pips did, and just go out and do hit and run compliments. That’s honestly how I first started. I tried to talk to girls when I could muster the courage, but when I couldn’t, I made an effort to talk to anyone and everyone, giving compliments, making small talk–I didn’t care if it was an old man, a high school kid, or a married woman I had no attraction to, because I knew if I could start small and simply learn to open people with a compliment or an observation, it would be easier when I talked to attractive women I wanted to date.
And guess what? I failed constantly. Almost all the numbers I took during the first six months flaked. Sometimes I’d run out of shit to say and the set would just die, awkwardly. I’d forget girl’s names, repeat myself in set, speak in a high tone with rapid cadence, hands shaking, and almost literally run away when the set was done, whatever the result. But what I learned was that nothing that bad is ever going to happen, and in the end, there’s nothing whatsoever to be afraid of–the fear we feel in game is merely a product of doing something we’re not used to doing.
And the only way to learn that is to DO IT. That makes all the difference. Start somewhere, work hard, don’t quit. Like, that’s the definition of what a REAL man is: a guy who does hard things and conquers his fears.
The three biggest reasons why guys fail at this are simple:
- They don’t have to–they’re good looking enough to do OK on the dating apps (let’s be honest about what this means: 6s, maybe the occasional 7; any guy who tells you he’s constantly banging 8s off Tinder is lying), or already have a girlfriend, however inadequate she might be.
- They don’t think it can work, or feel the fear they experience isn’t worth the effort, especially when the results at the start, sometimes even after hundreds of approaches, can be poor to middling.
- They don’t care about getting laid.
The guys who don’t care are probably not reading this blog, but if you’re in either one of the first two camps that’s exactly why I wrote what I wrote above. Because even if you never get really good at cold approach, even if you don’t want to go out and do this regularly or as your only source of women, even if you’re only ever at best, and amateur, it makes you a better man.
I talked above about why that’s true with women, but it’s also true in life. I’ve now had two clients who wanted to learn what I can teach them about how to apply Game to business and sales, not just women–and it makes a ton of sense. Learning Game makes you better at your job, better with your family, better at leading interactions, developing friendships and other relationships, and it sure as fuck applies to sales, entrepreneurship, and beyond.
Because at its root, cold approach and Game are about interacting with people in a way that makes them like you, want to spend time with you, help you, and/or give you things (like pussy).
The only thing you have to do is stop being one. Learning cold approach and Game are worth it–the question: is it worth it to YOU?
If so, what are you waiting for? Girls are going back to school, returning to the cities, and whatever the chicken littles say, the COVID thing is going to fade out sooner rather than later–people are only going to put up with this nonsense for so long. There’s no reason not to start working on this now, and literally, as I’ve pointed out this entire blog: IT WILL LEVEL UP YOUR LIFE AS A MAN.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go talk to some girls.