Let’s take the last first: I’ll be setting out on another century challenge this month (along with Pancake Mouse and potentially a few others), as August was basically a complete wash for me other than a random night game pull.
Last time I did a telegram group, but I think this time we’ll hold off (not that I don’t encourage guys to go for 100 approaches in September: if you think you can do it, go for it and let me know how it goes). The reason is simply that 3/4s of the guys in the group didn’t even get close; I think several of them barely got to 10 or 15. Now, understand, that’s not me throwing shade at those guys–they’re all good dudes who I’m sure sincerely believed they’d be able to do it and wanted to use the group for motivation. But it goes to show that cold approach is a learned skill–not something most guys can just up and do without help, and frankly, coaching. Indeed, for many guys, a century challenge is entirely inappropriate: they need to start by becoming more social, taking baby steps, embracing failure, and all of that with low expectations or a lot of pressure. If you’re just getting started and you’ve never talked to random girls or only a few times while loaded on booze at the bar, doing four or five approaches in a week is a massive win. Hell, for some guys, one approach is huge.
That said, I encourage guys to reply in the comments of THIS POST about approaches you’re doing, whether it’s just one or two, or many more than that. And if you want help–if you’re not doing the work and you need strategy, tactics, and guidance as well as someone to hold you accountable, hit me up. As the old cliche goes, the best time to start was yesterday, but the second best time is today.
Reader Q1: Do you think that you can meet a woman at the wrong time? So that after a time, you could reconnect or get in touch again?
Like: when she has a boyfriend, and then after they break up.
OK, that’s the low hanging fruit, but there are any number of situations or circumstances where it’s just not going to work with a particular girl. Maybe she’s super busy with work or school. Maybe she’s recently out of a relationship. Maybe she’s got family in town. Maybe she’s on her period or sad or feeling fat. Who knows? Who cares? Point is: if you make your play and she doesn’t come out, she’s just not that into you bro.
That said, it doesn’t mean she’ll never be interested in you. Indeed, the client I spoke with today opened a girl last year, they ended up connecting on Facebook, messaging died off because she had a BF, and then lo and behold! she pops up and messages him in late Spring and they end up fucking a couple random times over the summer. And she’s a solid 8–I’ve seen the pics. This is where, while I always advise guys to get the phone number, connecting on social media ensures you stay on her radar and gives her the opportunity to surface after whatever’s going on in her life blows over. And that’s also generally the way it should work: if she’s interested, she’ll re-open YOU. Along with this, Magnum has a great tactic of texting stale leads on Holidays and/or every couple of months, which is also a good way to reopen girls you may have met at the wrong time.
The caveat here is that 95% or more of the time, it’s NOT going to work because she’s not interested, and what I described is the way to play it: connect on social media and/or text her randomly every few months or so (once or twice; if you text her on Halloween and again on Christmas and she doesn’t reply, delete the number), but don’t count on her coming out, because mostly she’s not going to.
Reader Q2 (Free Matt!): what does real “misogyny” look like, considering how much people throw around that term and water it down to meaninglessness?
This is a tough one, because a lot of what is labeled “misogyny” is simply a true observation about women. Like: women are passive, mostly won’t make things happen, lack the willingness to take initiative, are less confident, and are more likely to adopt popular narratives and conform to social pressure, etc.
These are just facts, and if you ever get pushback on this kind of stuff (by the way, DO NOT tell this to women, especially ones you’re on a date with), ask some of the following questions:
- Who should propose marriage? Who does?
- Who should ask for a number/date? Who does?
- Who makes the first move? Who does?
- What percentage of men vs. women post pronouns on their social media accounts, posted a black square on IG, do viral copy-cat Tik-Toks, etc?
So I guess to me, true misogyny is when someone attributes a quality to women that isn’t accurate, doesn’t apply, or applies equally to both sexes. For example: women are shitty drivers.
Really? That’s not what insurance companies think. Now, you could argue that’s because men take more risks, but turn that around: do you want to be driving down the interstate with a bunch of wild male maniacs trying to go 95 taking chances every time they change lanes, or a bunch of women who drive the speed limit and don’t take stupid chances to shave 10 seconds off their ETA?
Or another common one: women are stupid or irrational.
No they’re not–or at least not anymore than a lot of guys unless you want to talk about the margins of the bell curve. Most women behave emotionally and yet from her perspective, rationally. Like, you and I think it’s stupid she flaked on the date, or gave a number when she never intended to come out to play, but from her perspective it was entirely rational–she’s not in the mood to go on a date, and she can fire up Tinder and match with guys at least as good looking as you and me anytime she wants, or post a pic of her ass in a bikini from last weekend and watch hundreds of likes roll in, filling her with hollow, false validation that feels good…
Just like the millions of men (boys) who masturbate all day and waste their time playing video games, posting on Twitter as if they’re pick up gurus when in reality the’ve talked to three women in their entire lives: mom, sister, and grandma.
A good heuristic on any question of judgment is to ask yourself: is this really true of XYZ group of people, or IS THIS WHAT I WANT TO THINK because it will make me feel better? Before I swallowed TRP, I was fairly liberal and thought conservatives were just morons who clearly lacked intelligence and critical thinking skills, but when my eyes were opened what I discovered is that you can apply that same criticism to a huge number of libtards. The truth is that for a lot of people on both sides, political views aren’t rational: they’re emotional and tribal–the product of motivated reasoning.
And we’re all prone to that. Just yesterday XBTUSD suggested my view that Wokeness will die out in the next couple years because as soon as it goes mainstream in schools parents are going to say “enough nonsense,” and large numbers of people will see what a damaging and dangerous ideology it is, was the product of motivated reasoning: I think this because I hope it will happen, and I’m ignoring the reasons it won’t or might not. Fair enough. I hope he’s wrong, but I also have to admit it’s quite possible I’m not able to form an objective opinion on the matter because I’m emotionally invested in the future I want to have happen, not the future that actually will happen.
To bring it back to the question of misogyny, I guess the classic examples would be discrimination: denying a woman a job because she’s a woman, assuming she can’t do math or understand science, or that her reasoning/opinions/actions are based entirely on emotional instability and therefore invalid–like saying, “oh, must be that time of the month,” because a woman gets angry, when maybe she’s entirely justified to be upset. Thing is, the level of truly misogynistic discrimination present in the modern world–at least in the Western World–is miniscule. Does it happen still? I’m sure it does, rarely, but we’re now entering an era where it’s often justified as rational to discriminate openly against men and/or white people–actually when it comes to academics, you can add asians to that list too.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the most privileged class in the WORLD right now are middle to upper class white women. They get a free ride while they’re young and beautiful, and the media frames everything after that–any personal shortcoming or struggle or problem (like not being able to get married or have kids despite waiting til 35 to start trying and being pickier than a fat, spoiled child at the candy store)–as the fault of men and/or society at large.
As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet: methinks the lady doth protest too much!
Super fun to answer some questions–my DMs on Twitter are open or you can always email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you feel like reaching out.
Well, last time I posted I said I was going to go talk to some girls and then the weather got cold and whatever volume there was evaporated. Hopefully today will be different–it better be! I gotta get those hundred approaches!