Last Saturday night was really good, although we’re still going to the wrong kinds of places. The right kinds are dive bars, karaoke bars, tap houses–places where you can actually talk to girls, move around, and avoid long lines to get in and stiff cover charges; the wrong ones are the loud clubs everyone hates for good reason: lots of hot girls, but hard to get their attention and they’re often coming with other groups.
Met up with my wings, MD and Nevada around 9:45, which was actually a little too late for the club we were trying to enter (MD insists the clubs are where it’s at for the fast pulls–something we’re going to test this Friday and going forward; if it doesn’t work however, I’m dragging him to sing karaoke). Wait in line for 20 minutes and then say fuck it, bounce to another bar. On the way we meet some girls and start gaming them and tell them to come with, but when we get to the place they don’t want to pay the cover.
No worries–lots of cute girls there anyway. I immediately open one at the bar, who’s with some friends, introduce her and the other girls to my wings. I guess aloud that they’re celebrating a birthday and the girl I opened initially is like, “OMG it was just mine–how did you know?” I say it’s my third eye, and do a cold read on her, telling her how she is and stuff, which sorta works.
I don’t number close because we’re going to be there for a while, so me, Nevada, and MD work the room. Working the room and gaming with these guys was an absolute pleasure: we’re opening groups of girls, dancing, moving around, but it never becomes mechanical or staged–the kind of approaches that arouse suspicion. Rather, we’re organic alpha males talking to girls and having fun: good game doesn’t look like game. Occasionally we break off to take photos for OLD or to post on IG. If you want to call that gay, cool–you do you, grandpa. Modern-day game almost HAS to involve utilizing social media through photos. Girls are at best semi-literate and spend all day on their phones, looking at pictures. So you need good pictures if you’re going to max out your success with girls, especially young and hot.
I take a number from a girl who takes our pics, get quasi blown out and/or ignored a few times as well. This is common in night game—roll off, play it cool, keep dancing, and talk to other girls. The ones who blow you off will see that and see they fucked up—which is exactly what happened. I think MD took a number or two as well, but by that time we’d kinda done what we could do at that venue, so we took off for another place–one of MD’s girls was there.
Other place is OK, but it takes me fucking forever to get a water (I didn’t drink at all last night—you absolutely don’t have to; no one cares) and the ratio is bad. If the ratio tilts too far in the favor of girls (60% guys/40% girls, or worse), it’s time to leave. Which is what Nevada and I did after a bit, leaving MD to work his girl.
Plan is then to run some gutter game, so we stroll (or troll?) near a few of the clubs. Nevada opens a cute girl in clacking heels on the street, so I slide down to give him space. After he number closes, it’s back on the prowl. The clubs are dying, but we open two girls heading out, one wearing a glorified bikini, her secondary sex characteristics prominently displayed. The other girl is a super cute Latina, so I start running game, touching her tattoos, telling stories about running around in the Caribbean and stupid shit I did in college, generally DHVing. They have to get an Uber, so I get her number (she’s actually still responding so who knows?) as Nevada gets the other girl’s, and then we bounce.
Still lots of peeps out when we get to the next bar, which is a good area generally with several places all right next to each other, and we grab a couple waters and go outside, where I see two cute girls sitting by themselves on a picnic bench. “Mind if we share?” I ask, not waiting for an answer and setting down my water. We get names and I immediately start running game–they’re from Columbia and fun. I ask the prettier girl to teach me some Spanish: how do I say, “I think you’re a pretty girl?”
It works and she loves it, so we start hanging out and having fun, the girls get beers at another bar across the street. We’re slow-playing it, but it’s getting damn late, so I suggest we go back to my place—but it’s a no go. The girls are going to head home. I get the number, after doing a lot of kino, very sexual eye contact, touching the tattoos, located just under her breasts, that she readily shows me.
This is where things go sideways a bit: MD calls me because he wants to rejoin the group, so I tell him where we are, he shows up, then proceeds to take my girl on a scooter ride—and gets her number while doing so…or maybe it was her IG? Chicks, man. Technically he broke wing rules by doing so, but I’m not sure if he knew what was going on; my guess is he shows up, sees this cute girl, and then goes into player mode and games her without knowing or thinking about whether I’d already taken the number, which I had.
I like Magic D. He’s a really strong player, and I respect skills and the skilled. We do better when out with him because of that. And he’s VERY good looking, as mentioned above–probably a male 9. I’m a 7 to a 7+ with good social skills and very strong game, but he also has strong social skills and game, so if we’re going head to head, he’s going to win. Girls are girls and they’re going to do what they’re going to do. I was telling RedQuest that I don’t even really blame her: if I had the choice between dating a girl who’s a 7 vs. a girl who’s a 9, I’m going to date the latter assuming she’s not clearly crazy or a drug addict and it’s not going to be that hard of a decision. In any case, I called him and we talked; the resolution of that talk was good. To be fair to the guy, he was just doing what players do and didn’t know I’d already number closed. An honest mistake and glad we resolved it–lots of girls out there left to game.
The lesson here is to have a good relationship with the guys you’re winging with and an understanding that poaching girls from each other is going to cause things to fall apart. I have zero interest in opening girls and doing all the leg work only to have a girl stolen out from under me, and I can’t think of any player who feels differently. The other thing is that if two guys from the same group are competing for the same girl, she may just say fuck it and drop off entirely, meaning a strong lead has turned into a dead one. That said, when you’re out running game together often enough, misunderstandings can happen, like what happened above, and in that case–if you trust the guy and enjoy going out and approaching with him–call him up and have an honest conversation, make sure it won’t happen again, and then move on and don’t worry about it.
Last thing on this: no, the solution is not to be a dumbass ape and beat the shit out of the guy or end the friendship. That may be what the guys who play alpha on Twitter say, but if you do that every time something doesn’t go your way people aren’t going to like you and you’re going to run out of friends. Fast. Think through your actions and choose wisely: MD as a wingman and friend is exponentially more valuable to me over the course of time than one girl I could have maybe banged. I’m sure I’ll get my rocks off with some other girl soon enough anyway. Don’t take shit from people where it’s overt disrespect, but it’s often the case that ignorance is to blame, not malice, and it’s worth finding out before you go burning bridges.
It’s been a tough year for players: thoughts and next steps.
This weekend I had a long call with Breeze, who’s had a rough year when it comes to day game. We all have, is what I told him. And this is where I get to the shit: cold approach is absolutely worth doing and learning and practicing—but we’ve probably reached a point where guys shouldn’t rely solely on meeting girls IRL: the flake rate is too high, and too many girls have gotten to a point where everything in life has to run through their phone. That’s not great for individuals, for psychological well being, or for societies, but it is what it is–the red pill is about understanding what’s real and actually happening, not the world as we would wish it to be. And I haven’t even mentioned the elephant in the room, COVID, which has shrunk the SMP due to lots of girls still being with quarantine boyfriends, and because a lot of girls are scared and won’t go out for fear of getting sick, plus the masks making day game shitty again…blah, blah, blah. These are not normal times.
A few other things:
- In cold approach, you ought to be seeking situations where the girl is warmer. I feel like I’ve been beating this drum awhile now, but pure street approaches are going to be less successful than approaching where there’s an outdoor art show, a farmer’s market, a Saturday market, some kind of street fair, a coffee shop, book store, or simply running gutter game in places where there are a lot of clubs. Approaching a girl who’s coming home from work on the street when she’s in a rush and has other things on her mind is going to be a lot less likely to succeed than if she’s out doing something laid back and leisurely.
- On the OLD front, guys would be well advised to get professional photos and use the apps, unless it’s just not something you want to do (understandable, but also just know you are giving up on a fair number of leads if you do it right). If you’re not super fit or don’t have great fashion, fix that first. Because to have success on the apps you need to look like you’re at least a male 7, if not an 8. Good news is that if you’re a fit guy with good fashion, a quality photographer should be able to make it look like you are.
- In addition to both of the above, it pays to have a decent IG. I mentioned earlier that MD, Nevada, and I spent some time taking photos for that purpose. It’s not something I do naturally, or that I care to do–it feels narcissistic and childish, but the fact is that if you can pair a number close, whether from OLD or Cold Approach, with a high quality IG where you can show her you’re a cool guy and something she can check back on when you text her, that will help. Girls are used to running everything through their phone, and if she can’t pull up pictures of you after you’ve gotten her number, there’s a much greater chance you fall off her radar.
- Of course I don’t have all the answers, but I do know a hell of a lot about game and cold approach, I’m in touch with players and clients all over the world, and I’m out there myself, approaching through both day and night game, trying some online stuff, etc. And the fact is the dating world is changing–it’s always evolving. Apps are now the norm. A fair amount of dating happens on IG. Chicks are arguably more picky in terms of looks than ever before. Cold approach still absolutely works and guys should learn it, but I also think we need to adapt our method and think about models beyond the LDM. What does a good investor do? He diversifies and tries things other guys won’t try, knowing that yes he’ll fail some of the time, but if he hits on something few other investors are into, he can make a nice profit.
The takeaway here is that you should be doing just that. Find multiple ways to source girls. If you can get enough leads doing cold approach, by all means do that. If you can do it by mostly using OLD, do that. Ultimately I recommend doing both, but the reason cold approach is and always will be king, other than it being a massive force multiplier for getting better with women generally, is that NO ONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU. Anyone who’s done OLD knows that a fair amount of it is luck and sheer volume: getting in front of the right girl at the right time among thousands if not tens of thousands of girls. And that means it’s extremely volatile. I’ve talked to guys who were killing it on the apps right up until they weren’t, and then it was like: WTF do I do?
You go talk to some fucking girls! That’s the beauty right? With cold approach you can always go outside anywhere there are hot girls and go talk to them–and if you’re good enough, some percentage of those girls are going to come out on a date, and some are going to end up in your bed.