RPD is a cheater–or is he? Depends…

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Last week, despite having a girlfriend and a supposedly “monogamous” relationship, I took a chick home from the bar. She, uh, kind of wasn’t the girl I’m in a relationship with.

I was out with some friends after work having some beers and she was sitting at an adjacent table. I opened saying something about how I liked her hair, but it also kinda made her look like Cruella Deville–she had that Gen Z thing going on where she dyed part of her hair bleach-blonde, almost white, but the rest was a dark brown. I’ve seen her around the neighborhood (living in cities matters). She’s about 5’2”, super fit with great legs and a nice ass, firm, but small tits. Cute, but not stunning. A solid 7, maybe 7+ in my book. She’s 25.

Quick aside: I like opening American girls indirect, with a neg/tease. Maybe that’s what works for me (try it out for yourself and see what you like), but it seems like it hooks them–a bit of push/pull right from the beginning: she knows that I think she’s attractive, and yet I’m unimpressed, or at least not intimidated. American girls are incredibly masculine and have a strong frame, which is why opening direct might not always be the best way to go.

Anyway, she’s noticed me before too, as it turns out, and soon enough she’s sitting at our table to flirt. She was there alone, which is a huge signal: when chicks go to bars alone, especially on weeknights, they’re looking to fuck and you should open. While my friends were there it was fairly innocent stuff–just people drinking together at a bar and having a good time and talking about normal things: where we’re from, what we’ve been doing, good shows, movies, music, podcasts, etc. Because my friends were there and know me, to the extent any talking monkey can know another, I talked some about my girlfriend–Fest Girl, whom I love, despite my insatiable desire to spunk up other girls–and what we’ve been up to. I knew this could fuck things up–and it should’ve–I DO actually care about Fest Girl and if I fuck another chick, I’d rather it be in the context of an open relationship where that’s approved of, not “cheating.” Alas. It’d also be smart to wear condoms while raw dogging randoms. 

However much admitting “I have a girlfriend” torpedoes normal seductions, in this case, after my friends have left, she says, “I’ve seen you with that girl. She’s cute.” A loud “clang” occurs in my mind: “Threesome?” Then she shifts the conversation to something different, and I realize I’m operating on pre-selection: she’s seen me with a hot chick I’m clearly fucking–therefore I’m a guy worth fucking. We order another round of drinks. It’s getting late, and I need to get home because I have to do some work the next day (thank God it’s remote), so I make noises about leaving. She says, “I want to see your place–let me go home and grab a bottle of wine and I’ll come over.” WHAT? 

It feels to me like the game has officially reversed at this point, and I don’t really want to “cheat” on Fest Girl, but this is such a lay up I can’t say no. It’s not my fault, because it “just happened.” Right? So, “OK, cool, what’s your number?” She gives it to me, I text her my address, and then walk home. About 20 minutes later, she texts, “I’m here.”

There’s little more to say. She brings the bottle, we open it (not sure if either of us took more than a few sips), I put on some music, and then pretty soon we’re making out, clothes are coming off, and she’s sucking my dick. Want to know how it happened? I just did it. Escalation isn’t calculation–it’s movement and action. I ask her, “are you on birth control?” She says yes, so I stick it in without a condom–perhaps a retard move on my part, but I hate them and it is what it is. I start by turning her around doggy standing, which most chicks love, because it’s a super dominant move. We get on the couch, she rides me, and then I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom, where I pound her in missionary until I cum. I’m not sure if she does, and I don’t care too much. The job for both of you on the first time is to have good sex and for the man to come–that’s what she wants too. Trust me. After, we go to bed, but I tell her I have to get up at 7:30–she says she’ll be out by then, no worries. True to form, I wake up and she’s gone. Not her first rodeo. 

Not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, “cheating” isn’t good. It’s not the high vibration thing to do, and part of the reason I’m in the position to “cheat” in the first place is because Fest Girl is hot and I was too big of a pussy to risk losing her if I told her I wasn’t going to be monogamous.

On the other, sex. Monogamy is not what I want, and I DID sort of, kind of communicate THAT. I want non-monogamy. I want threesomes and sex clubs, and I told Fest Girl that from the beginning. I was willing to give her the comfort of monogamy for a time, but it appears that time has passed, though she doesn’t know it. She oughta know.[1] 

Despite what some guys believe, I do agree with Rollo that sexual strategy is amoral, which is why I put cheating in quotes. Is it the best thing to be dishonest? No. However, it has happened and now I’ll have to figure out what I want to do about it, but I don’t feel under any obligation to tell her unless it benefits me. As for Fest Girl, I have to decide where to go, but I won’t string her along much longer if I can’t give her what she wants and vice versa, if she can’t give me what I want: namely, non-monogamy, which is what I did without her knowledge.


  1. Once you learn game, so long as you stay in shape, it’s like riding a bicycle and you can come right back. I hadn’t done anything like this for awhile, and yet, given the opportunity, pulled like a true PUA should. Or the girl wanted to fuck and I didn’t fuck it up. That takes more skill than most want to acknowledge.
  2. Pre-selection is amazing and some chicks who want to fuck you won’t care if you’re fucking other chicks–not initially at least. This girl full-on knew I had a girlfriend, but didn’t give a fuck. If anything it made her want to fuck me more, and in point of fact, she’s still texting me wanting to hang out. I need to try to take her to a fuck club, maybe one the next town over. 
  3. Don’t offer monogamy if you’re not truly wanting it. I personally will never do so again. I didn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship, but I did so for reasons I’ve described many times. It was weak frame on my part, and now I’m stuck with the same dilemma I avoided by being a pussy: get her to be OK with an open relationship, or break up. I will try to facilitate a psychedelic mushroom journey in which I can unlock her deepest sexual energy. 

[1]Listen carefully to those lyrics. “Is she perverted like me? / Will she go down on you in a theater?” Or: “Will she have your baby?” Or: “And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?” Taylor Swift this is not. This is one of the most popular pop songs of all time.


  1. I read it as being a bit more complicated than that… she has a lot of good qualities that make RPD ambivalent about setting ultimatums… I’m not sure “settling down” exactly is optimum or even possible, but kids do legitimately take a lot of time and energy that’s not possible to avoid w/o a lot of money (governesses)… https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/kids-the-player-and-the-red-pill-comprehensive-statement/

    The question for every person, though many, maybe most, choose not to confront it, is “what do I want to do with my life?” Real world, it’s not possible to maximize all dimensions at once, so which dimensions might a given guy want to maximize? I can’t answer that for rpd… I can encourage him to consider the problem space… I think he’s working out what to do in real time on his blog…


  2. “Or the girl wanted to fuck and I didn’t fuck it up. That takes more skill than most want to acknowledge.”

    I will readily acknowledge that takes a lot of skill, as I attest (more or less) in my most recent field report.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Fundamentally I agree that sexual strategy is amoral. You’re not an asshole because you accepted what was in front of you, it’s because you broke a commitment. As men, we’re as good as our word. No judgement – one shitty act doesn’t make you a shitty person.

    Telling someone you cheated assuages your guilt and hurts them, imo needlessly. Personally wouldn’t do it, especially if you’d care about her.


  4. Tough situation. If I were you I would tell her. It will hurt her, it will probably hurt you to see her sad. She might break up with you, or it might open doors you’re not even thinking about now (non monogamy for you while having a monogamous girlfriend, for example).

    Again, I’d want to be open and honest about it, imo it’s the right thing to do from a moral/ethical point of view. But it’s your decision of course. Regardless which decision you end up making, I already think it’s cool you’re telling your readers about this situation and share your thoughts with us.


    1. Yeah, I did agree in principle, so I’m the asshole in this case. The frustrating thing is that I’ve told her many times I would like to do ENM, but she hasn’t agreed yet. The conundrum is that she potentially is a good long term partner and I don’t want to run game forever (nor do I think you can). So for now it is what it is, but soon enough we’ll have a more explicit and consequential talk.


      1. Unless I misread the last article, I’m surprised that you agreed to let her set a foundation of your relationship based on an ultimatum over text.

        If she hasn’t agreed to do ENM then I don’t think she has potential to be a good long term partner. If you really want to be monogamous, it’s best to wait until you haven’t actually done game in a long time and are ok with it. Culture says we want to settle down as we get older, but do we really? A friend of mine is 50 and banging hot girls half his age, for free, and I just don’t see him (nor me, nor you) giving that experience up until nature forces us.


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