Want to know if she likes you? There’s only one way to find out…

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Guys struggle with women for many reasons, but for most men, it’s a simple failure to act: they don’t make things happen. They don’t escalate. They don’t move things forward. The explanation is typically that they’re waiting for the girl to do something first, to signal that he should. Dumb. Strong men act, move, and purse–they do not wait, or hesitate. And women want strong men.

The least-intrusive move guys fail to make is simply approaching—going up to a pretty girl and delivering the opener, whether direct or indirect. It’s understandable why guys don’t: in a world where everyone’s nose is buried in their phone, randomly talking to girls can feel tricky; strangers don’t typically strike up conversation. Most guys haven’t practiced their game, and top performers always practice. We’ve become a world of anti-social autists. However, you’ll find most people love being talked to in a socially intelligent way, and most people are starved for human interaction. At our core, we’re hardwired to be social and to enjoy social interaction—girls even more so than guys. Most girls aren’t exactly thrilled with the world they’ve created with dating apps and misnamed “social” media…but the only way to find that out is to take action! Women are passive, however much feminism denies it. Most men have been trolled and brainwashed by feminism. The ones who haven’t are too busy fucking to spend a lot of time chatting online. 

Putting aside cold approach—which we can just accept most guys aren’t going to do (if you want to give it a go, hit me up)—most guys stymie themselves by failing to escalate once they’re actually with a girl. Don’t wait for a sign, a feeling, or a vibe: make a fucking move (stop being a pussy). At a party, in a social circle, or on a date, most guys look for some kind of signal or invitation from the girl; some clue that she wants him to make a move. But there are at least two problems with that beta, passive mindset:

1) IOIs are often extremely subtle, and even then, they’re often predicated on an IOI given to the girl by the guy.

I teach clients to initiate and maintain strong eye contact because it tells the girl, “I want to fuck you,” without saying so explicitly. The same is true of brushing against her leg when sitting next to her on a date, or asking about her rings or tattoos and then reaching out to touch them. The guy is delivering the tacit message: let’s fuck, I’m interested. Girls hate getting rejected. You think you’re scared of a girl saying no? For most girls, rejection is soul death (and, if they’re hot, they almost never need to endure it). After all, what kind of guy wouldn’t want freely given pussy? Very few, if she’s anywhere close to his SMV, and in a girl’s mind, when she makes any sort of move–even the slightest thing like sitting next to a guy at a party or smiling at him and maintaining eye contact–in her mind this is what’s happened: here’s my pussy, don’t you want it? If he doesn’t: soul death. Because for a woman, the worst thing she can be is undesirable to men she deems within her SMV. 

So, more often than not, she needs you to signal first. Ironically, this is why girls will almost never make an explicit play for an ordinary guy, but they will throw themselves at players: they know the player is going to do something about the IOI–and if for some reason he says no, she can say, “well, he’s an asshole anyway.” But for the most part, barring edge cases, a girl won’t make a strong play for a guy unless it’s obviously going to work, OR the guy is +3-4 of her SMV, which is almost like when an old man hits on a hot young 20 something…everyone knows nothing is going to happen, so it’s treated as more of a joke than an earnest move.

If the girl is strongly against your “move,” move on. Many years ago, Red Quest chatted up a receptive-seeming girl at a coffee shop and then went on a date with her. He touched her arm, and she recoiled like he was contaminated. The date ended after like 15 minutes when he said, “You seem like you don’t want to be here,” and she agreed, so he suggested she leave. This reaction is super rare, but it’s also useful, because it tells you what most rejections tell you: talk to more girls. Remember as well, that some girls are social retards who don’t get it—less common than in guys, but it does happen. How you figure this out, however, is the same way you’ll figure out with any “normal” girl: you talk to her, ask her out, take her on a date, etc. If at some point she says no or signals strong disinterest, abort. Your time is too valuable to waste on a girl who’s not game, or can’t get it because she’s a social retard.

2) In many cases there’ll be no IOI at all; no signal she’s down.

This is both because of the soul death thing above, and also because the girl herself often doesn’t know if she wants to fuck you until you do something to show interest. You being interested in her makes her interested in you–this is why cold approach works in cases OLD doesn’t. Most girls have no idea what or who they want; she wants things to “just happen.” Women are biologically submissive, no matter how poisonous our stupid cultural denial of this fact has become, which means that if a man she finds attractive escalates sexually, there’s a good chance she’ll comply. If she complies, sex; if she doesn’t, you’ve learned you need to work on yourself—and talk to more girls. 

The ever-changing concept of “consent” hurts everyone for many reasons, one being that women want/need guys to make stuff happen because they won’t (which is exactly what this post is about), but when mainstream media makes consent sound like it needs to be documented on paper—and even that’s not enough if the girl later changes her mind—you can understand why guys who buy into media bullshit are wary and scared. Scared guys dry pussy like no other force or fact of nature. Here’s the thing, though: by being direct with her and escalating, you’ll either reach a point where she gives you a firm no, or she’ll decide she does want to fuck, and consent. And, unless you’re super rich and famous, A) she gets nothing out of it by claiming otherwise afterward, and is therefore super unlikely to do it, especially if you treat her well, are kind, decent, etc, after the bang, and B) from what we’ve seen with the Depp-Heard verdict, it’s unlikely anything can legally be done about it anyway–false claims are most often seen for what they are: bullshit. Aziz Ansari, if you’re listening, come back to us. But to the point: If you let her know you’re interested in her sexually without pussyfooting around and/or trying to make a move unexpectedly when she’s drunk or feeling vulnerable, you’re going to be just fine.

Do you want to be a guy who fucks, or a guy who complains about his best? Seriously, you should re-watch the linked scene every few months. That movie was also made before wokeness made most movies pussy. 

Women love ambiguity. For a woman, ambiguity and uncertainty mean plausible deniability: she wants to be in the position of saying “no” or being “swept away by the force of a man’s passion.” A man’s job is to cut through the ambiguity and make things happen. If you’re waiting for a signal or invitation from chicks, you’re going to be waiting a very long time, possibly forever, while her pussy gets drier than the Sahara. Because, more often than not, they’re either not going to give you one, OR it’s going to be unbelievably subtle. Want to find out if she likes you? Go up and talk to her. Ask her out. Take her on a date. Hold her hand. Pull her close. Kiss her…and continue escalating. She’ll let you know if she’s interested, or not. No man is for every woman. With any woman you find attractive, your job is to see whether you’re for her. Her job is to receive offers. Unless you’re very high value in some way (extremely good looks, fame, etc.), you’re an offer-maker, and she’s an offer-taker. Biology doesn’t lie. Without men acting, women live in a world of inertia and tedium. They get dressed up and go out hoping a man will make something fun happen to them. In most cases, the guy who gets the girl is the first guy within her acceptable range of SMV who makes something happen.  

The only obvious exception I know to the “plow forward” advice, or I guess a best practice that can help, is that when you’re going in for a kiss, lock eyes with her first—if she looks away, she probably doesn’t want to kiss you. But again, probably. When in doubt, make a damn move. Then you’ll know, one way or another. Fire and maneuver. Most guys live an inert life in which they wait for permission that never comes. Fuck that: take action. You’re acting, or you’re dying. Hot girls end up with men who act, not men who wait. 

“Action” can mean a lot of different things: every day, are you getting closer to your goals, or further from them? Are you eating right? Are you hitting the gym? Are you going out, instead of staying in? Are you logging what you did well that day, and what you did poorly? Are you developing new skills, or are you stagnating? When you fuck a girl, you’re often enjoying the fruits of many years of habit, effort, and practice. Sliding into the girl is the winning moment, and it should be enjoyed, but it’s almost always the result of months or years of doing the right things consistently. Most guys are jerking off to Internet porn, playing video games, eating simple carbs and sugar, being too afraid to talk to hot girls, mindlessly letting the Chinese mind-virus that is TikTok invade their brains, and so on, instead of doing the things that will lead to fucking hot girls. Any given moment of your life is the sum of all the moments that have come before. So if you want to fuck hot chicks, do the right things now. 

When I was younger, I wasted many opportunities by smoking weed, watching TV, eating pizza, and being too chickenshit to escalate on girls. I was pretty good at talking to them, but not good enough at escalating. This is a common problem set, and coaching can help guys overcome it. When a girl says no, it doesn’t matter, unless a guy is in high school (and even then, most high school guys are leaving TONS of pussy on the table) or some closely knit social circle. When she says yes, then sex. The asymmetric rewards mean guys should learn these skills. 

Guys who learn these skills, fuck. Guys who don’t, jerk off. Which do you want to be? 


  1. I wanna add one thing to the “make a move” advice, a bit of advice that really helped me when I was learning this stuff.

    Sometimes, moving in to try to kiss her and getting rejected…is exactly the right move. It shows all at once that you’re attracted, you’re willing, and you’re bold. And if she wasn’t thinking about kissing before, now she is. Give her a little time to imagine what it might have felt like. It’s not uncommon that if you try to kiss her again thirty or even five minutes later, she’ll be receptive the second time. As Sixty Years of Challenge used to say, escalation can *make* you attractive.

    This really helped me because I always used to think of a rejected kiss as a big failure. When I was taught that sometimes a rejected kiss is a major success, it completely reframed my way of thinking about escalation, and it reduced my fear a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

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